FR: Shy Girls

[TotalAFC]

I am finally trying to run some game on girls. However, it has been challenging. The girls are not "opening up" to me.

I went to the shoe section of a department store yesterday. As soon as the salesgirl saw me, she busted out with this big grin and staring at me. I've never seen her before in my life, though.

But, as soon as I walked up and started trying to talk to her, she froze up, wouldn't look at me, looked down and just gave me very short answers. She stopped smiling too. I got confused and so I just left.


Then I went to the grocery store, and I talked to a girl who was the cashier. I saw her staring at me when I was in line. She looked around the customer in front of her so she could look at me repeatedly. But, when I tried to talk to her (I was friendly and smiling) she did the exact same thing as the shoe store girl. She just looked down, wouldn't look me in the eye, and gave me very short answers. She seemed to be frowning, almost sad.

How do I handle girls like this? They are checking me out before they talk to me. But when I try to talk to them, they just look down and barely speak to me.


***As far as the FR, in the shoe store, I simply walked in like I said. I looked to my left and there was this tall (6 ft) blonde, early twenties. Nice body with curves. Like I said, she is smiling and staring. Kind of like a cat like smile with half closed eyes.

So I decide to walk up to her (she is about ten feet away). But, when I get closer to her, she seems to get nervous and stops smiling. Then, I ask her where the dress shoes are (i'm looking for some brown work shoes are). Now, she's not looking at me at all, just looking down. She points to the dress shoes.

I ask her if she's having a nice day. I try to smile and be pleasant. She says "yes." That's it. She still looking down, no smile, no eye contact. No nothing. Also, she seems to be getting irritated. She's starting to frown and getting a little red in the face. I get really confused and don't want to antagonize her, so I just check out the shoes for a few minutes and then leave. I say goodbye with a smile. She just says "bye." No smile, no emotion.

So this confuses me. She seems to be happy and smiling when she sees me but when I try to talk to her and smile, she gets really defensive.

---

It's the same thing with the girl in the grocery store checkout. First, she's checking me out over and over. Then, I try to talk to her and smile: "how are you doing today?" "how's work?" But she seems to get really irritated when I talk to her.

This is discouraging to me. Everything is fine until I try to talk to them. Even though I am pleasant and smile, this seems to almost anger the girls.


Total

 

[Phyzzle]

I don't like flirting with salesgirls. Basically, signs of interest (like smiling) don't mean anything. It's their job to be friendly, so you can't read body language.

 

[ScrewIt]

shy girls cant help it, they dont have the confidence...especially not with cold approaches.

I say make cold approaches with women that DO make EC with a smile...that way you wont have to deal with the shy girls clamming up. dont forget guys check out girls too but it doesnt mean they wanna ask them out - same goes for girls.

 

[Nighthawk]

It sounds like your scaring them.

I picture you smiling too much with a funny look in your eye.

'Hi, how was work today' is painful.

I don't think their 'shyness' is the problem.

 

[TotalAFC]

Baaah so much negativity. This board is useless.

Total

 

[Last Man Standing]

You are having 30 second encounters with empoyees of stores - difficult to gauge interest - maybe they were looking at you because you were looking at them! How many did you ask for phone numbers? Say, "I know that you working so I won't dazzle you with witty conversation - how about you give me your digits and we can talk later?"

 

[Jay Jay]

TotalAFC

Do not get frustrated so easily. That is so totally AFC. LOL

But I understand your frustration. Any guy who actually does a few street approaches knows exactly what you are talking about.

Girls do get freaked when you approach em in situations where they don't usually get approached. This idea that gurus sell, that babes get approached all the time is a lie that only KJs believe.

Sure in nightclubs, bars, etc thats true, but on the street or in trains and such... its not that common and usually it is freaks em.

I'll give you a couple of examples from my journal (the first and the most recent).

The first time I got that "A guy I don't know is talking to me! I'm don't know what to do!"

I was walking along and saw a pretty girl with a bike. "Hey nice bike."

She looked at me in terror, jumped on her bike and rode down the street. I was like, "****, what did I do wrong?" I'm told I look like a happy little Buddha, I can't scare puppies if I try.

The girl stopped her bike at the next corner and waited for me to catch up. "Yeah, my brother gave it to me...blah blah blah." She spoke as if she didn't runaway, but I could tell she was real nervous.

That conversation went nowhere, we were both too freaked by the entire thing to go beyond a bit of fluff.

But I thought about what happened.

I realised that just as we want to approach girls on the street but are scared to do so, well girls on the street want to be approached but like us THEY ARE NERVOUS TOO.

Let me say that again in slightly different wording. Girls want to meet boys as much as boys want to meet girls. They get nervous about it just as we do.

Once you internalise this understanding your confidence in talking to girls will sky rocket.

Now for the most recent time.

I was standing at a set of busy street lights. There was this babe in the crowd who was a mini10 (as in she was about 5 foot tall but perfect in every other way). I made eye contact, smiled and said "hi."

She was so freaked out that she looked away in terror. I had a chuckle. I know the caper now.

It took a while for the lights to change and I didnt look at her but I could see out the corner of my eye her peeping at me. I ust stood there relaxed, smiling and standing confidently.

We walked in the same direction. I was a little in front of her. I didn't look back, but I could hear her high heal shoes clumping behind me. I started walking real slow and she overtook me just before the next set of lights.

She was so aware of me that she didnt even press the button. She stood there all stiff. I stepped real close to her and she gave me a look like a scared little animal. This time we held eye contact. I pressed the button.

I then stepped back and ignored her.

Mini10 then walked in a complete circle around me. I ignored her and she rushed off tossing her hair. I could have opened easily at this point but I was having fun.

At the next set if lights she was standing there in a sexy pose waiting with a challenging stare at me.

"I can't believe you walked this far in those shoes." I said pointing at her high heals.

"If you were as short as me you would "believe."" This girl was incredibly confident and sassy suddenly.

What is going on here?

Well, when you first open they don't know what is going on. They will instantly be on the defence (not all girls but many).

In both those stories by not forcing it I gave them the space to think, "hold on, he's not a psycho, he was just a normal guy being nice. Oh my god! Maybe he was going to ask me out! Oh my god I must look like the biggest idioit!"

For those kind of approaches just stay real cool. Let your coolness calm the girl.

Hope that helps.

JJ

p.s. Good work getting out there.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Unless you have a weird accent or hygene issues..

They're just lame and boring girls.

I don't even bother with girls that get all gay like that.****ing looking down and talking all low,I'm like "Girl are you gay,what's wrong with you?".

That sh1t irks me out more then when girls try to freeze me out after the first few dates for no reason just cuz they assume i'm gonna freeze them out first.It's like you have to always work with them.

All girls do that but Shy girls take it to the extreme.You just went out with them the night before and the ***** walks right by you in the street?What type of **** are women on?

And they wonder why we like *****s?

 

[avrilishot]

like the above people say probably most girls are shy.

 

[ScrewIt]

Unless you have a weird accent or hygene issues..

They're just lame and boring girls.

I don't even bother with girls that get all gay like that.****ing looking down and talking all low,I'm like "Girl are you gay,what's wrong with you?".

That sh1t irks me out more then when girls try to freeze me out after the first few dates for no reason just cuz they assume i'm gonna freeze them out first.It's like you have to always work with them.

All girls do that but Shy girls take it to the extreme.You just went out with them the night before and the ***** walks right by you in the street?What type of **** are women on?

And they wonder why we like *****s?

Thats true, i hate that sh1t also. Just cause you're slightly aloof on one date with her cause something's bugging you (it has nothing to do with her)...they think you're trying to brush them off or you're not interested. and before you even see it coming they they freeze you out because they think you're about to do it to them...you never had a chance to explain yourself either.

I've dated many girls like this and i have a gut feeling im going through the same process with this girl im seeing. Girls hate more than anything to be LJBF or lead on by a guy.

All im saying is with these shy girls, more often than not if you want it to work you have to play by their rules.

 

[Obsidian]

nice post Jay Jay

 

[TotalAFC]

You know, I get the impression you guys don't even bother to read the posts. You make all of these assumptions, when it's clear you are making stupid assumptions. Read my post again: the girls were staring at me first, I just happened to catch them. I wasn't doing anything weird, I just asked them how they were doing.

I think you weirdos are projecting how weirdly you behave onto this post. Yuck! That's what I get for asking nerds for advice.

JJ is the only one offering halfway decent advice, because he's actually talked to girls. But even he is approaching girls first, but in my case, girls are approaching me, or at least staring at me. Do you people get that?

Total

 

[Obsidian]

Maybe they're turned off by your completely obnoxious and arrogant attitude, prick.

 

[Last Man Standing]

You got shaken up and din't pursue them further - don't blame us becuase you got scared and lost confidence because the women didn't ask for your number - this is your job!!