FR. Screwing it up @ the Movie Theater

[legolas]

Hi all,

I am here with the first FR that I ever had to write about.

Today, since I had the day off from work, I decided to go and watch this movie which shall go untitled but which is about to be retired from the theaters.

I buy my ticket, go to the theater and obviously find no one there except me. That's fine I say, I'll enjoy the movie all by myself. Well it wasn't meant to be so. About five minutes later, and this all took place BEFORE the movie had started, a girl walks in, about my age and a 7 or so in looks. Not bad!!

She comes into my row, because this was a small theater with no stadium seating, and either I guess my row was the best to watch the movie from, or she thoughht I was interesting.

She opened first, with "Is there anyone seating next to you?" Not recognizing the indirect come-on, I fail and answer directly. She takes a seat in my row one seat away from me, ONE FRIGGIN' seat!!

Stupid me, I j ust assumed that that was the best row to watch movie from, while the rest of the theater being EMPTY!! Well anyway, I follow up with some comment about the movie ans some short small talk follows, after that dead silence ahile we watch the pre-preview advertisements and movie trivia on screen.

A third person walks into the movie theater, and older woman, and after a minute or so she walks out. The girl comments to me that she must have changed her mind. Let me remind you that this the second time this girl tried to open me up. I follow up with some more small talk, a bit longer then the firt time and then the conv dies down as the woman makes her way back inside with some popcorn.

During the movie of course there was no talk whatsoever and while I was expecting to pull some after movie magic, I saw that moment slip away easily.

Well after some careful analysis, I have figured out that my main problem was a lack of balls and not taking the initiative to open her up on different topics, and asking her things. It was me basically waiting for something to happen and even *gasp* for her to do something!!

Aren't I sad? And all after my "brilliant" post about default motive. I was lazy and an idiot for not opening up the convo, worrying too much about what to talk about. So here comes my second "brilliant" post.

Always have a friggin' default way of opening up convo with a stranger

Even if it is "By the way my name is..." Yeah I know all the bullsh*t about not giving up your name and all that "being mysterious" crap. A girl's number one fear is fear of being hurt by a stranger so mystery will only work in certain cases.

I think what I need is a standard default approach that I can use on any situation with ease AND which will eventually lead to rapport. But anyway, this was a very good opportunity for a semi-cold approach and I stinked. Oh well, Live and Learn!

 

[Legend]

Stuff like this happens to me all the time man. You get better the more times stuff like this happens

 

[Walden]

Dude that's a harsh break , choking sux (I oughta know).

Remeber you don't need to say something smooth or clever. For most of us all the successful PUs we do involve at least one akward line at some stage, it's no big deal.

 

[legolas]

Hey thanks a lot for the support guys. It just makes my day knowing that we have here a large network of guys who support each other through the thick and the thin.

I realize I have to go out more, and talk to random people.

 

[Scorpion11]

It amazes me how us here on the thread are all so alike! I suffer from that all the time, not as much as in my AFC days, but i still struggle. I work at a grocery store, and this chicks bball team came in, i tried cold approaches on all of them, but they all had their shield up.. It sux!

 

[bp1974]

Been there. Lose the 'mystery' idea, it'll only hold you back from actually talking and getting to know people. Refusing to give someone your name doesn't tell them you're mysterious, it tells them you don't want to engage with them, or you're suspicious of them.

 

[legolas]

Thanks bp and Scorpion for the support.

The thing amazes ME is how I throw theory around for days, and when it comes to doing the action, I struggle. One guy said it right. "If all you're doing is sitting in a chair and thinking on how to use the ideas, or writing about them, you're mentally masturbating"

One thing I still kick myself for not saying, is that I noticed she was wearing her watch on the right hand side, and most people wear it on the left. She could have simply been a "leftie" (a person whose dominant hand is the left hand) but it still wouldn't have killed me if I had asked. I 'm sure she was kicking herself for not being able to start a convo with me, though she tried twice. Then she must have written me off as not interested.

Aaaarghh.

And the funny thing, is have no problem flirting with girls at work, with short and even at times, long dialoges, or conversing with my cute neighbor while on the train going home. But I know in these situations it takes just that much more comfort on my side to fully open up. It's almost as if I have to make sure that I'm comfortable with the girl, and that she is comfortable enough with me before I open up.

And in most occasions, I expect this to be there instead of working to create it. Maybe that is the missing piece of the puzzle, laziness to create the level of comfortability where we are both a little relieved from the awkwardness of meeting someone new. Hmmm, jeez I had to write this post to clarify my thoughts and now I think I've stumbled onto something. I'll see if I can make it work.