"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

FR: Privelidged Youth

B

BrotherAP

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2005
Messages
722
Reaction score
5
Age
45
Location
Earth
I don't know what's going on today, but my college campus has been invaded!

I'm getting strong EC from these two girls - ok, they're fvcking staring at me, and giggling. I walk over (because that's what I do)

Brother: Do I have something in my teeth?
girlA: <laughing> no, why?
Brother: Hmm. Is my hair messy?
<both lauging, shake heads>
Brother: ha... I knew it
girlA: knew what?
Brother: You guys were checking me out
<both turn red, start laughing>

At this point I'm thinking there's something wrong. These girls are cute, but they seem too totally sold on me. They've got no bytch shields. Nothing.

Brother: Are you two freshman?
GirlA: No, we're Juniors
Brother: Juniors? Really...
GirlA: Yeah, we're here for a science fair

Then it clicks. These girls are in high school (so sue me if it took me a little long. They sure as hell didn't LOOK like they were in high school)

Brother: How old are you?
GirlA: 17
Brother: Well you girls be careful... there's a lot of horny college boys on this campus
GirlA: That's the idea (smile)
Brother: good luck with that <exit>

Man, all I probably had to do was say "Hello, ladies, my name is BrotherAP and I'm old enough to buy alcohol. Who wants to go back to my apartment and get drunk?" and I could have had a super-illegal threesome. Be that as it may, I like to go for the older chicks.

Campus is packed right now, with more HB's than you can shake a stick at, and for the next 6 hours I'm checking IDs.


BrotherAP :D
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

J

john_1234

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2005
Messages
395
Reaction score
5
haha that was slick. my hat's off to you. i don't know what state you're in, but i would have went for it
 
W

wowiehowie

Banned
Joined
Oct 4, 2005
Messages
171
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by BrotherAP

I'm getting strong EC from these two girls - ok, they're fvcking staring at me, and giggling. I walk over (because that's what I do)
Click to expand...
Dude, maybe thery didn't have the heart to inform you of the giant booger hanging out of your nose!:p :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top