Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Your boyfriend giving me a massage would sure relieve a lot of stress.
Last edited:
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
FR: New kid in town - the rebirth of Vulpine
- Thread starter Vulpine
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Ther was absolutely no reason for you to reply to this thread. Dude's doing an interesting field report, it can only help him and the other guys here. You're an embecile troll, looking for attention. Now go and suck on your popsicle.Anomalous said:
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Moderators, this asshat "Anomalous" is hijacking a very good thread.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
He's not your boyfriend anymore? Ahaha, he totally dumped you for me, didn't he?Anomalous said:Thats not my BF because I don't have one!! Um... I guess you have a boyfriend. Aw so cute Vulpine is all grown up.
Get real!
No more massages for you!
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Deleting #36-48 would be a nice clean up, but I dunno. A high school kid trying to AMOG me online and getting repeatedly tooled is kinda funny. That's what kids get for flaming in the "Mature Man" forum.
realsmoothie
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 30, 2006
- Messages
- 1,064
- Reaction score
- 9
Hey, it's only hijacked as long as Vulpine has no new news. Come ON dude, let us live vicariously through you.
So Many Ways
Master Don Juan
posted in the wrong thread, whoops
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Saturday - Fun & Prizes!
I was charged up Saturday because I cleaned a bunch of stuff off of my to do lists. So, I cleaned up, sprayed on some Joop! (my favorite hot weather scent), and made for the BS for a ****tail reward.
When I got there, there was a band from a neighboring town there. They were super loud, and they must've brought half of that town with them. As I waited for the bartender, I scanned the scene. The place was jam-packed with fatties, but on the other side of a supporting beam across the bar sat a black haired chick. I only got a glimpse of her, so I couldn't tell if she was an FUG or not.
Judging by the crowd (fat heifers, noone I recognized), and the loud, sucky band, I didn't want to stay. I finished my ****tail and split for the WC.
The WC was dead as fried chicken. I recognized a couple faces, so I parked it at the bar. It turns out I sat next to Tall Dude (TD). He was dissapointed with the crowd too, and said that he was going to head to another venue. I asked if it was convenient for me to tag along, and it was, so we headed to another place back in Madison that I've never been to. Coolness! Along the way, and at the next place, we chatted and I found out more of his background. It turns out that he's 29 and going through a divorce/has a kid. Ooops... but, I think he'll end up being a formiddable wing: he's my age and single, not to mention not a dumbazz.
That place had a suck tribute band, and the crowd was light, so we headed back to the BS.
The band that was there had cleared out (thankfully). Guess who was sitting at the bar: HBUma. The first thing that popped in my head was that she didn't return my call - NEXT. But, the "small town boomerang effect" put her back in my face, so, I'll play out scene 2. I headed straight to her:
V: *grabs arm, leans in to speak in ear* "Are you here alone?" (I was going to pull her out of the bar directly, no jacking around, just yank her azz outside/isolate/makeout)
HBUT: "I just got here, my friend is coming." *Door opens, friend walks in*
V: *I turn around and meet up with TD without another word*
FYI: Her friend steady "mean mugs" me. That is, she gives me the stink-eye whenever I'm talking to HBUT. Her friend is about a 3 or 4, so, basically she's a FUG/coxbloxer.
Well, well, well... it turns out TD has cozied up to a black-haired HB8 and was playing one of the nudie touch screen games with her. So, I slid up on TD's side. Dangit! It's the girl that was sitting behind the post! Grrrr... I'm all about the black-hair! Phooey! And SHE's playing nudie games??! Suh-weeet!
I didn't know the background with him and this chick, so I didn't want to game her outright. From what I could tell, they had a good raport. Since I didn't know if he had been working on her for a while, I didn't want to interfere. Again, I don't want to step on toes.
They invited me to help with the game, so I was leaning in across TD to reach the screen. He didn't dig that, so he prompted me to move across to the other side. (I was thinking: uh... you sure? Ok, if you're cool with me rubbin' up on your girl.) I did, ordered a drink, and played with them. We were joking around and having a great time. At one point, I noticed that the black-haired HB8 had a rose tattoo on her chest. I reached up and slid her shirt back to check it out. Uh... she didn't flinch, made strong EC, giggled... you know, gave off IOI's. I really didn't pay much attention because I assumed she was out-of-bounds. This chick will be known as HBRose.
HBUT's FUG friend hit the bathroom, so I strolled back over:
V: *stands next to HBUT*
HBUT: "So, how's you're weekend been so far?"
V: "Glorious. Yours?"
HBUT: "Ok, blah blah blah drivel."
V: "Okay, so, you're obviously pissed off. I was super-smashed the other night... hey, booze happens. *shrug* I remember you coming over, but all I remember about it is you leaving in a tizzy."
HBUT: "You got all creepy."
V: "WhaaaaAAT?!?! I don't DO creepy. That doesn't sound like me at all."
HBUT: "You were trying to get me to spend the night."
V: "Well, THAT sounds like me. I try to discourage drinking and driving. How's that creepy?"
HBUT: "Well, I guess not then. But, I was petting your cat, then all of a sudden you were on top of me. THAT's creepy."
V: "Oooooh, haha, yeah, yeah... I totally remember that now. I was taking off my shoe and since I was so loaded, I couldn't keep my balance and basically fell on you. Hahah"
HBUT: "Oh... I thought... " *she trails off and looks at FUG who gets back from the can, immediately starts stink-eyeing me*
V: "Well, I can see how you'd get the --"
*FUG cuts me off, talks right over me*
V: *heads back to HBRose and TD*
Rudeness. It was harshing me, so I headed back to where it was fun. I was playing the game with those two for a while.
WTF? HBRose is IOI'ing me like crazy. I'd make a wisecrack and she'd giggle and reach up and grab my forearm. She was kino'ing ME! I'd nudge her when I'd make joke, and she'd giggle and grab my arm... like, 4 or 5 times. I thought it was all in good fun; Hmmm...
HBRose: "Ok, who's got Joop! on?" *leans in and smells me* "Mmmmm...*
V: "Joop! is my favorite. I love how it smells in the summer; I don't care what anybody says - I wear it for ME, haha."
HBRose: "That's how it should be, right? Joop! is my FAAAaavorite." *leans in and smells again*
OK, THAT's fuggin' IT! She's into me hard. Grrr... TD, I'm going to pull this HB right in front of you, dammit! *sigh* Better be cool, Vulpine. We continued to play the game and have a great time and laughing heartily.
After a while, HBUT came up behind me and...
HBUT: "Wanna do a shot?"
V: *didn't turn around, shifted closer to HBRose so HBUT could get up to the bar, motioned with hand for her to come up* "Sure, you can buy me a shot."
HBUT: "So, what do you want?"
V: *still hasn't turned around from video game* "Whatever. You're buying, you call it."
HBUT: "So, what's up with you running away?"
V: *turns around, locks eyes* "Running away?"
HBUT: "You were over by me before, then, when my friend came in you took off. Then, she came back from the bathroom, and you did it again."
V: "She's rude and is steady giving me the evil eye."
*Pause*
V: "Besides... *pause* ...you don't want to talk to me anyway."
HBUT: "Huh?!?"
V: "I called, left you a message with my number, you didn't call back. You don't want to talk to me. That's not exactly running away." *turns around and resumes playing the video game*
HBUT: *stomps off*
Ahh... the evil games we play, huh guys?
Hey! Beeyatch! Where's my shot?:crackup:
(I didn't say that out loud, but I wanted to.)
So, that's where that's at. Maybe now she'll call. For the rest of the night I ignored her completely because...
TD and HBRose started to play word games on the machine. I was kicking butt and talked some trash:
V: "Anytime now, you guys."
TD/HBRose: "haaha" "Pssshfff..." "Whatever, dude."
V: "Oh, don't sit across a Scrabble board from me."
TD: "Oh, hell no. I'll tear you apart."
V: *LOL* "No, not 'full-contact Scrabble'. You are waaay bigger than me."
HBRose: *LOL, grabs my arm, nods head against my shoulder while laughing, EC's me smiling*
TD: "No, I'll kick your azz for sure."
V: "Don't be so sure, Slick. I came from a family of Scrabble cut-throats!"
TD: "Oh... OH... It's on. HBRose, when are we having the Scrabble throwdown?"
--Note: Uh... that was an obvious "bring in", he's surely gaming her, right? Er... is he helping me game her? Is he winging ME? Ugh. It's too hard to tell.--
HBRose: "I don't know..."
(It happens that HBRose is a friend of the bartender this night at the BS. There are two hotty bartenders at the BS, the one tonight shall be "HB-BS1A" for those who are following the soap-opera, the other: HB-BS2S)
***LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL!! LAST CALL!***
I was charged up Saturday because I cleaned a bunch of stuff off of my to do lists. So, I cleaned up, sprayed on some Joop! (my favorite hot weather scent), and made for the BS for a ****tail reward.
When I got there, there was a band from a neighboring town there. They were super loud, and they must've brought half of that town with them. As I waited for the bartender, I scanned the scene. The place was jam-packed with fatties, but on the other side of a supporting beam across the bar sat a black haired chick. I only got a glimpse of her, so I couldn't tell if she was an FUG or not.
Judging by the crowd (fat heifers, noone I recognized), and the loud, sucky band, I didn't want to stay. I finished my ****tail and split for the WC.
The WC was dead as fried chicken. I recognized a couple faces, so I parked it at the bar. It turns out I sat next to Tall Dude (TD). He was dissapointed with the crowd too, and said that he was going to head to another venue. I asked if it was convenient for me to tag along, and it was, so we headed to another place back in Madison that I've never been to. Coolness! Along the way, and at the next place, we chatted and I found out more of his background. It turns out that he's 29 and going through a divorce/has a kid. Ooops... but, I think he'll end up being a formiddable wing: he's my age and single, not to mention not a dumbazz.
That place had a suck tribute band, and the crowd was light, so we headed back to the BS.
The band that was there had cleared out (thankfully). Guess who was sitting at the bar: HBUma. The first thing that popped in my head was that she didn't return my call - NEXT. But, the "small town boomerang effect" put her back in my face, so, I'll play out scene 2. I headed straight to her:
V: *grabs arm, leans in to speak in ear* "Are you here alone?" (I was going to pull her out of the bar directly, no jacking around, just yank her azz outside/isolate/makeout)
HBUT: "I just got here, my friend is coming." *Door opens, friend walks in*
V: *I turn around and meet up with TD without another word*
FYI: Her friend steady "mean mugs" me. That is, she gives me the stink-eye whenever I'm talking to HBUT. Her friend is about a 3 or 4, so, basically she's a FUG/coxbloxer.
Well, well, well... it turns out TD has cozied up to a black-haired HB8 and was playing one of the nudie touch screen games with her. So, I slid up on TD's side. Dangit! It's the girl that was sitting behind the post! Grrrr... I'm all about the black-hair! Phooey! And SHE's playing nudie games??! Suh-weeet!
I didn't know the background with him and this chick, so I didn't want to game her outright. From what I could tell, they had a good raport. Since I didn't know if he had been working on her for a while, I didn't want to interfere. Again, I don't want to step on toes.
They invited me to help with the game, so I was leaning in across TD to reach the screen. He didn't dig that, so he prompted me to move across to the other side. (I was thinking: uh... you sure? Ok, if you're cool with me rubbin' up on your girl.) I did, ordered a drink, and played with them. We were joking around and having a great time. At one point, I noticed that the black-haired HB8 had a rose tattoo on her chest. I reached up and slid her shirt back to check it out. Uh... she didn't flinch, made strong EC, giggled... you know, gave off IOI's. I really didn't pay much attention because I assumed she was out-of-bounds. This chick will be known as HBRose.
HBUT's FUG friend hit the bathroom, so I strolled back over:
V: *stands next to HBUT*
HBUT: "So, how's you're weekend been so far?"
V: "Glorious. Yours?"
HBUT: "Ok, blah blah blah drivel."
V: "Okay, so, you're obviously pissed off. I was super-smashed the other night... hey, booze happens. *shrug* I remember you coming over, but all I remember about it is you leaving in a tizzy."
HBUT: "You got all creepy."
V: "WhaaaaAAT?!?! I don't DO creepy. That doesn't sound like me at all."
HBUT: "You were trying to get me to spend the night."
V: "Well, THAT sounds like me. I try to discourage drinking and driving. How's that creepy?"
HBUT: "Well, I guess not then. But, I was petting your cat, then all of a sudden you were on top of me. THAT's creepy."
V: "Oooooh, haha, yeah, yeah... I totally remember that now. I was taking off my shoe and since I was so loaded, I couldn't keep my balance and basically fell on you. Hahah"
HBUT: "Oh... I thought... " *she trails off and looks at FUG who gets back from the can, immediately starts stink-eyeing me*
V: "Well, I can see how you'd get the --"
*FUG cuts me off, talks right over me*
V: *heads back to HBRose and TD*
Rudeness. It was harshing me, so I headed back to where it was fun. I was playing the game with those two for a while.
WTF? HBRose is IOI'ing me like crazy. I'd make a wisecrack and she'd giggle and reach up and grab my forearm. She was kino'ing ME! I'd nudge her when I'd make joke, and she'd giggle and grab my arm... like, 4 or 5 times. I thought it was all in good fun; Hmmm...
HBRose: "Ok, who's got Joop! on?" *leans in and smells me* "Mmmmm...*
V: "Joop! is my favorite. I love how it smells in the summer; I don't care what anybody says - I wear it for ME, haha."
HBRose: "That's how it should be, right? Joop! is my FAAAaavorite." *leans in and smells again*
OK, THAT's fuggin' IT! She's into me hard. Grrr... TD, I'm going to pull this HB right in front of you, dammit! *sigh* Better be cool, Vulpine. We continued to play the game and have a great time and laughing heartily.
After a while, HBUT came up behind me and...
HBUT: "Wanna do a shot?"
V: *didn't turn around, shifted closer to HBRose so HBUT could get up to the bar, motioned with hand for her to come up* "Sure, you can buy me a shot."
HBUT: "So, what do you want?"
V: *still hasn't turned around from video game* "Whatever. You're buying, you call it."
HBUT: "So, what's up with you running away?"
V: *turns around, locks eyes* "Running away?"
HBUT: "You were over by me before, then, when my friend came in you took off. Then, she came back from the bathroom, and you did it again."
V: "She's rude and is steady giving me the evil eye."
*Pause*
V: "Besides... *pause* ...you don't want to talk to me anyway."
HBUT: "Huh?!?"
V: "I called, left you a message with my number, you didn't call back. You don't want to talk to me. That's not exactly running away." *turns around and resumes playing the video game*
HBUT: *stomps off*
Ahh... the evil games we play, huh guys?Hey! Beeyatch! Where's my shot?:crackup:
(I didn't say that out loud, but I wanted to.)
So, that's where that's at. Maybe now she'll call. For the rest of the night I ignored her completely because...
TD and HBRose started to play word games on the machine. I was kicking butt and talked some trash:
V: "Anytime now, you guys."
TD/HBRose: "haaha" "Pssshfff..." "Whatever, dude."
V: "Oh, don't sit across a Scrabble board from me."
TD: "Oh, hell no. I'll tear you apart."
V: *LOL* "No, not 'full-contact Scrabble'. You are waaay bigger than me."
HBRose: *LOL, grabs my arm, nods head against my shoulder while laughing, EC's me smiling*
TD: "No, I'll kick your azz for sure."
V: "Don't be so sure, Slick. I came from a family of Scrabble cut-throats!"
TD: "Oh... OH... It's on. HBRose, when are we having the Scrabble throwdown?"
--Note: Uh... that was an obvious "bring in", he's surely gaming her, right? Er... is he helping me game her? Is he winging ME? Ugh. It's too hard to tell.--
HBRose: "I don't know..."
(It happens that HBRose is a friend of the bartender this night at the BS. There are two hotty bartenders at the BS, the one tonight shall be "HB-BS1A" for those who are following the soap-opera, the other: HB-BS2S)
***LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL!! LAST CALL!***
Last edited:
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Saturday continued: Last Call
***LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL!!! LAST CALL!!***
TD: "HEY! HB-BS1A!"
HB-BS1A: "Whadda ya need, hun?"
TD: "You down for a Scrabble match?"
HB-BS1A: "Uh... I guess so. When?"
TD: "We don't know yet..."
V: "I got the Scrabble board at my place - it's a block up thatta way. *points* Crank it up!"
TD: "Afterbar. It's on. Let's do this."
V: "Whatchu got? *Puffs out chest* Huh? *strut, strut* Whut?"
TD/HBRose/HB-BS1A: *LOL*
--Note: Now there's two of them... TD is demonstrating smooth wing abilities here.--
*HBRose and HB-BS1A exhange looks, looks are good from HBRose: nods/smiles*
HB-BS1A: "I don't know. I'm pretty tired."
***You guys gotta go.***
We get ushered outside, TD and I pause out front. HBRose is still waiting for HB-BS1A inside.
V: "So...?"
TD: "What?"
V: *pause because...*
**HBUT and FUG leave, HBUT gets in car and starts it but doesn't leave right away, I didn't turn around or say anything when they pass - ig-fuggin-nored**
V: "They comin'?"
TD: *shrugs* "...go ask."
V: *turns to look at door, looks back to TD* "Word."
I turned and went back in. HBRose was still sitting in the same spot.
V: "We're just out front, how long you going to be?"
HBRose: "Oh, aww, not tonight, sweetie. Another time though, 'kay?" *reaches up and grabs my arm and squeezes, EC, smile*
V: "You suuure....?"
HBRose: "Yeah, sorry." *head tilt motions towards HB-BS1A, rolls eyes*
(Now, here is where I pull out the sharpie and get smooth setting up something, kissing goodnight, whatever... but the question remains: is this TD's target?)
V: "Alright. You guys'll let me know when you and TD set it up, won't you?"
HBRose: "For sure."
V: "Sweet. You guys have a good night." *I start walking off, as her hand glides down my arm I twist my hand to wrap around her arm to catch her hand as it trails off behind me, as her fingers slide off mine I do the "flutter fingers bye-bye"*
HBRose: "You too."
I hit the door. HBUT is still sitting in her car.
TD: "And?"
V: "Nope. HB-BS1A. *mocking tone* I'm pretty tired."
TD: "Oh well."
Almost. Dude and I pile into his ride and he gives me a ride home. Just as he starts the truck, HBUT pulls out and takes off. Was she waiting and watching? Aww... poor baby got ignored. Mmm... horray for emotions!
:cheer:
Anyway, on the way...
V: "Hey man, sorry about getting all up on HBRose on you."
TD: "Huh, what do you mean?"
V: "We were all touchy-feely, you saw that right? I mean, she was all into me: I didn't mean to be cutting you out."
TD: "oh... AAAh, no, there's nothing. Don't worry about it."
V: "What? You and her... you aren't..."
TD: "Nope."
V: "AWWWW :cuss: "
TD: *LOL*
V: "I would've been making out with her azz at like, 01:00!!!:cuss: I would've AT LEAST got her number!"
TD: *LOL* "I'm sorry, dude."
V: *sigh*
Oops. That stuff is bound to happen in my situation. It sux, but it's for the best.
So, the breakdown is like this: I had fun. I worked HBUT's jealousy nerve and it's on her to call. Meanwhile, HBRose is friends with HB-BS1A. Who, by the way, has my phone number. You see, one of the first nights I was down there, and before I knew she bartended there, I bumped into her. She must've just got off early and wasn't working. She was with 3 guys and someone introduced us.
(whoever introduced us): "Hey, Vulpine. Show her that picture."
V: *whips out picture of the bar*
HB-BS1A: "Afterbar." *Pulls out cell* "Gimme your number."
I didn't make note of it, because nothing became of it. Until now, sort of.
TD has a great attitude. I think we are going to naturally end up working together more often. Sweet! Now I don't need Blue Douche to wing me!
***LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL!!! LAST CALL!!***
TD: "HEY! HB-BS1A!"
HB-BS1A: "Whadda ya need, hun?"
TD: "You down for a Scrabble match?"
HB-BS1A: "Uh... I guess so. When?"
TD: "We don't know yet..."
V: "I got the Scrabble board at my place - it's a block up thatta way. *points* Crank it up!"
TD: "Afterbar. It's on. Let's do this."
V: "Whatchu got? *Puffs out chest* Huh? *strut, strut* Whut?"
TD/HBRose/HB-BS1A: *LOL*
--Note: Now there's two of them... TD is demonstrating smooth wing abilities here.--
*HBRose and HB-BS1A exhange looks, looks are good from HBRose: nods/smiles*
HB-BS1A: "I don't know. I'm pretty tired."
***You guys gotta go.***
We get ushered outside, TD and I pause out front. HBRose is still waiting for HB-BS1A inside.
V: "So...?"
TD: "What?"
V: *pause because...*
**HBUT and FUG leave, HBUT gets in car and starts it but doesn't leave right away, I didn't turn around or say anything when they pass - ig-fuggin-nored**
V: "They comin'?"
TD: *shrugs* "...go ask."
V: *turns to look at door, looks back to TD* "Word."
I turned and went back in. HBRose was still sitting in the same spot.
V: "We're just out front, how long you going to be?"
HBRose: "Oh, aww, not tonight, sweetie. Another time though, 'kay?" *reaches up and grabs my arm and squeezes, EC, smile*
V: "You suuure....?"
HBRose: "Yeah, sorry." *head tilt motions towards HB-BS1A, rolls eyes*
(Now, here is where I pull out the sharpie and get smooth setting up something, kissing goodnight, whatever... but the question remains: is this TD's target?)
V: "Alright. You guys'll let me know when you and TD set it up, won't you?"
HBRose: "For sure."
V: "Sweet. You guys have a good night." *I start walking off, as her hand glides down my arm I twist my hand to wrap around her arm to catch her hand as it trails off behind me, as her fingers slide off mine I do the "flutter fingers bye-bye"*
HBRose: "You too."
I hit the door. HBUT is still sitting in her car.
TD: "And?"
V: "Nope. HB-BS1A. *mocking tone* I'm pretty tired."
TD: "Oh well."
Almost. Dude and I pile into his ride and he gives me a ride home. Just as he starts the truck, HBUT pulls out and takes off. Was she waiting and watching? Aww... poor baby got ignored. Mmm... horray for emotions!
:cheer:
Anyway, on the way...
V: "Hey man, sorry about getting all up on HBRose on you."
TD: "Huh, what do you mean?"
V: "We were all touchy-feely, you saw that right? I mean, she was all into me: I didn't mean to be cutting you out."
TD: "oh... AAAh, no, there's nothing. Don't worry about it."
V: "What? You and her...
you aren't..."TD: "Nope."
V: "AWWWW :cuss: "
TD: *LOL*
V: "I would've been making out with her azz at like, 01:00!!!:cuss: I would've AT LEAST got her number!"
TD: *LOL* "I'm sorry, dude."
V: *sigh*
Oops. That stuff is bound to happen in my situation. It sux, but it's for the best.
So, the breakdown is like this: I had fun. I worked HBUT's jealousy nerve and it's on her to call. Meanwhile, HBRose is friends with HB-BS1A. Who, by the way, has my phone number. You see, one of the first nights I was down there, and before I knew she bartended there, I bumped into her. She must've just got off early and wasn't working. She was with 3 guys and someone introduced us.
(whoever introduced us): "Hey, Vulpine. Show her that picture."
V: *whips out picture of the bar*
HB-BS1A: "Afterbar." *Pulls out cell* "Gimme your number."
I didn't make note of it, because nothing became of it. Until now, sort of.
TD has a great attitude. I think we are going to naturally end up working together more often. Sweet! Now I don't need Blue Douche to wing me!
RedPill
Master Don Juan
Sounds like you and TD need to have a winging discussion. He'd be a good wing for you - positive attitude, friendly, yet doesn't really have too much awareness of the game. He's not a competitive threat. Awesome job blowing off HBUT. Given your small-town situation, it sounds like you'll run into her again. Clearly you smacked her off her pedestal, and she's not used to it.
Living in the midwest myself, I know where you're coming from with all the fatties in your venue. The week after I moved back from Tampa that was the *first* thing I noticed. It's funny how HBUT's fugly friend put the block on. The fugs are funny like that... They're the inverse of really hot chicks. Just as hot chicks are used to being hit on all the time, fuglies are used to never getting hit on, and they always hate guys hitting on their better looking friends.
I bet sometime over the next few weeks one of the chicks in your ongoing FR here will become a plate...
Living in the midwest myself, I know where you're coming from with all the fatties in your venue. The week after I moved back from Tampa that was the *first* thing I noticed. It's funny how HBUT's fugly friend put the block on. The fugs are funny like that... They're the inverse of really hot chicks. Just as hot chicks are used to being hit on all the time, fuglies are used to never getting hit on, and they always hate guys hitting on their better looking friends.
I bet sometime over the next few weeks one of the chicks in your ongoing FR here will become a plate...
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Moved back from Tampa, RedPill? I moved back from Orlando. Where are you now? PM me if you want to remain anonymous.
Yeah, TD and I do need to bring it out in the open. He operates. I've seen him on the move, and he's definitely operating. After the chit chatting, he IS aware of game. But, I made a comment like "nice try" at one point to which he replied: "I don't 'try'." Either he's cold-blooded-smooth, or oblivious, I'm guessing smooth. He's familiar with terms also, he's definitely operating.
If he IS operating, he's probably unsure of my background as well. So, yeah, we definitely have to have a little chitty-chat-chat.
EDIT: And the way he was "practice" AMOG'ing me the other night... yeah, I'm almost postitive he's been doing his homework.
Yeah, TD and I do need to bring it out in the open. He operates. I've seen him on the move, and he's definitely operating. After the chit chatting, he IS aware of game. But, I made a comment like "nice try" at one point to which he replied: "I don't 'try'." Either he's cold-blooded-smooth, or oblivious, I'm guessing smooth. He's familiar with terms also, he's definitely operating.
If he IS operating, he's probably unsure of my background as well. So, yeah, we definitely have to have a little chitty-chat-chat.
EDIT: And the way he was "practice" AMOG'ing me the other night... yeah, I'm almost postitive he's been doing his homework.
Last edited:
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Wednesday - more and more seeds
I started out at the WC. I saw one of my neighbors there, so I plopped down and started a conversation while getting a drink. While chatting, I took a look around. From previous (and seemingly unimportant/unremarkable) interactions, I was introduced to a fatty who happened to live across the street from me. Tonight, she had a HB7.5 with her. The HB7.5 I had met once before, but she was trashed then.
On the other side of me were the ice queen pair I mentioned before. Something in my head was telling me that set was odd. One of them, Carmen - HBB!tch8, had her back to me. The other one, who I am more interested in (HB8), was facing me. Throughout the night she was EC'ing and staring at me while I was interacting with the fatty and her two friends. I catch her looking, then she'd look away, then look back a second later. I actually EC'd her a couple times until she'd look away. Duh. I would like to re-open that set at some point, but I feel like I need to concoct a scheme or wait for an opportunity to get HBB!tch out of the way as an obstacle. If I don't get the B!tch out of the scene, it's not exactly a fun set. I suspect that my target is the "sidekick" in the duo. That sux for her when she doesn't get approached because her friend is a b!tch. Regardless, I was engaged in another set.
So, I'm talking to fatty's set: there are 3 of them. I started with entering the set by greeting fatty. I got "how do you know her?" looks from the other two. Fatty introduced me to them and I hung out with them for the evening. I found out one of them was pregnant (at a bar, nice.) so, I'm not mentioning her much. I got some good IOI's from the HB7.5, but I didn't push it. I think that actually escalated her interest. I worked in some kino right off the bat with the handshakes with the two. The pregnant one shook my hand like a professional man, the HB7.5 shook my hand like a lady. I pointed out the diffence to the pregnant one, and, took the opportunity for more kino on the HB7.5. I must've ended up holding the HB7.5's hand for 5 minutes while talking to the pregnant one. Funny how she didn't try to take her hand back, hmm?
The set was heading down to the BS, so I asked for a ride since I was going to head down there myself (approachable targets had vacated the WC). They enthusiastically agreed to give me a ride. Once we got to the parking lot, the three split up for different vehicles:
V: "Hold up a sec, who am I riding with?"
HB7.5: "Ride with me. ...er, if you want."
On the way, we had a pleasant "rapport building" conversation. It turns out that we have similar "life histories" and have similar situations presently.
Once we arrived at the BS, fatty got way into drinking and was buying me shots. A couple other folks showed up, including TD. He opened a set of two 6/7, and ejected over by me so I asked him:
V: "Need a wing?"
TD: "Naw. She used to bartend here."
V: "Which one?"
TD: "The better looking one."
V: "So you don't need me to jump on the grenade, huh?"
TD: "Haha, no."
As the night went on, I'd get EC's from HB7.5, but I'd just smile back. After thinking back, I could have, and should have pulled her. I would say that I'm a bit too weary of backgrounds and should just take advantage of opportunities when I have them. I'll definitely try to pull her next time, but, now I'll probably end up with a HBUT drama. I was very relaxed talking to the 7.5, something that is a new sensation to me. For now, I have the "mysterious new guy" thing working, so I don't need to sweat any "I should have's".
At the end of the night, I invited fatty back to my place to show off the bar (purely friendly, I assure you). She's had many decent looking women with her, and, she'd be good to network with.
On the way back, she ducked into the bushes and started to take a p!ss right in plain view of me: silly fatties and their antics.
fatty: *squats*
V: "Nice. Looks like you need a shave. Don't forget to wipe... oh, my bad, drip dry."
fatty: "Whatever, shut up. I had to go."
V: "You couldn't have waited? We aren't even 300 yards away!"
Lo and behold! Who comes prancing out of the BS hollering "Hey fatty! Wait up!"???
DOD coxbloxer.
She waited. I kept on walking.
That dude is NOT welcome at my place. Can you say "ditch the fatty" boys and girls? That guy works my nerve.
That's about it. I had good fun, sowed some more seeds, oh oh OH... and I talked to HB-BS1A about the Scrabble match.
V: "Hey, HB-BS1A, are you and your friend still down for Scrabble?"
HB-BS1A: "Yeah, sure. She's my sister, by the way."
Uh... anyway, I confirmed that she had my number and told her to call and make it happen.
As side news, I got my mountain bike fixed and have been riding and working out.
My crotch is bruised from the lengthy trips I've taken on back-to-back days.
I'm going to pick up the new wheels for my old-school BMX today ('85 DiamondBack Super Viper). I got them out of storage and got them fixed up since I can throw a rock from my place and have it land in a major bike trail.
I talked to the Lotus, actually, I rode my bike to where he works (a fitness equipment store) and lifted weights. We are going out "to throw darts" Sunday. I'll let you know how that works out.
It's summer, I'm working out and getting the Testosterone crankin'... things are going to start resulting here any second now...
I started out at the WC. I saw one of my neighbors there, so I plopped down and started a conversation while getting a drink. While chatting, I took a look around. From previous (and seemingly unimportant/unremarkable) interactions, I was introduced to a fatty who happened to live across the street from me. Tonight, she had a HB7.5 with her. The HB7.5 I had met once before, but she was trashed then.
On the other side of me were the ice queen pair I mentioned before. Something in my head was telling me that set was odd. One of them, Carmen - HBB!tch8, had her back to me. The other one, who I am more interested in (HB8), was facing me. Throughout the night she was EC'ing and staring at me while I was interacting with the fatty and her two friends. I catch her looking, then she'd look away, then look back a second later. I actually EC'd her a couple times until she'd look away. Duh. I would like to re-open that set at some point, but I feel like I need to concoct a scheme or wait for an opportunity to get HBB!tch out of the way as an obstacle. If I don't get the B!tch out of the scene, it's not exactly a fun set. I suspect that my target is the "sidekick" in the duo. That sux for her when she doesn't get approached because her friend is a b!tch. Regardless, I was engaged in another set.
So, I'm talking to fatty's set: there are 3 of them. I started with entering the set by greeting fatty. I got "how do you know her?" looks from the other two. Fatty introduced me to them and I hung out with them for the evening. I found out one of them was pregnant (at a bar, nice.) so, I'm not mentioning her much. I got some good IOI's from the HB7.5, but I didn't push it. I think that actually escalated her interest. I worked in some kino right off the bat with the handshakes with the two. The pregnant one shook my hand like a professional man, the HB7.5 shook my hand like a lady. I pointed out the diffence to the pregnant one, and, took the opportunity for more kino on the HB7.5. I must've ended up holding the HB7.5's hand for 5 minutes while talking to the pregnant one. Funny how she didn't try to take her hand back, hmm?
The set was heading down to the BS, so I asked for a ride since I was going to head down there myself (approachable targets had vacated the WC). They enthusiastically agreed to give me a ride. Once we got to the parking lot, the three split up for different vehicles:
V: "Hold up a sec, who am I riding with?"
HB7.5: "Ride with me. ...er, if you want."
On the way, we had a pleasant "rapport building" conversation. It turns out that we have similar "life histories" and have similar situations presently.
Once we arrived at the BS, fatty got way into drinking and was buying me shots. A couple other folks showed up, including TD. He opened a set of two 6/7, and ejected over by me so I asked him:
V: "Need a wing?"
TD: "Naw. She used to bartend here."
V: "Which one?"
TD: "The better looking one."
V: "So you don't need me to jump on the grenade, huh?"
TD: "Haha, no."
As the night went on, I'd get EC's from HB7.5, but I'd just smile back. After thinking back, I could have, and should have pulled her. I would say that I'm a bit too weary of backgrounds and should just take advantage of opportunities when I have them. I'll definitely try to pull her next time, but, now I'll probably end up with a HBUT drama. I was very relaxed talking to the 7.5, something that is a new sensation to me. For now, I have the "mysterious new guy" thing working, so I don't need to sweat any "I should have's".
At the end of the night, I invited fatty back to my place to show off the bar (purely friendly, I assure you). She's had many decent looking women with her, and, she'd be good to network with.
On the way back, she ducked into the bushes and started to take a p!ss right in plain view of me: silly fatties and their antics.
fatty: *squats*
V: "Nice. Looks like you need a shave. Don't forget to wipe... oh, my bad, drip dry."
fatty: "Whatever, shut up. I had to go."
V: "You couldn't have waited? We aren't even 300 yards away!"
Lo and behold! Who comes prancing out of the BS hollering "Hey fatty! Wait up!"???
DOD coxbloxer.
She waited. I kept on walking.
That dude is NOT welcome at my place. Can you say "ditch the fatty" boys and girls? That guy works my nerve.
That's about it. I had good fun, sowed some more seeds, oh oh OH... and I talked to HB-BS1A about the Scrabble match.
V: "Hey, HB-BS1A, are you and your friend still down for Scrabble?"
HB-BS1A: "Yeah, sure. She's my sister, by the way."
Uh... anyway, I confirmed that she had my number and told her to call and make it happen.
As side news, I got my mountain bike fixed and have been riding and working out.
My crotch is bruised from the lengthy trips I've taken on back-to-back days.
I'm going to pick up the new wheels for my old-school BMX today ('85 DiamondBack Super Viper). I got them out of storage and got them fixed up since I can throw a rock from my place and have it land in a major bike trail.
I talked to the Lotus, actually, I rode my bike to where he works (a fitness equipment store) and lifted weights. We are going out "to throw darts" Sunday. I'll let you know how that works out.
It's summer, I'm working out and getting the Testosterone crankin'... things are going to start resulting here any second now...
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Friday
I buzzed into Madison to stop at the bank. The teller made comment about the heat.
Teller (HB7, HUGE rack): So, how are you getting along in this heat?
V: "What heat? I just move up from Orlando not to long ago, it's finally not cold."
Teller: "LOL. Orlando, huh? I just moved up from Georgia."
V: *Pocketing cash* "Right on." *Shuffling papers, zipping up planner*
Teller: "Do you need anything else?" *EC*
V: "No. Where in Georgia?"
Teller: "Savanna.... Do you need anything else?" *Steady EC + Smile*
V: *Pause + smile + EC* "...hmm" *pause, still haven't broke EC* "I should say no."
Teller: "Okay then, *pause, still EC'ing* have a good night."
Duh. Just duh. Maybe next time? Duh. I don't normally close "captive audiences" as rule, but this is a wake-up call: I should.
So I cruise over to the mall. I've been looking for a watch to match my ring. There isn't sh!t in black titanium exept Skagen. I have allergic skin reactions to metal cheaper than gold, and everything has stainless steel backs, even freakin' Movados! My FB works at a jewelry store, so I ducked in. We flipped through catalogs and she couldn't get Skagens there so I went to a store across the way. The chick behind the counter basically gave me deja vu like the same exact interaction as the teller at the bank. I NEED to start taking advantage of the opportunities, regardless if they are working or not. Duh.
So, after the errands, I stopped by the Lotus' work and lift some weights. I went home, washed up, ate and hit the WC.
The WC was packed. On the way in I walked past HBUT and her FUG friend getting hit on by some super dorky guys. I didn't even acknowledge her existence throughout the night. The place was packed with hotties that I didn't know. But, after some observation, all the hot ones were taken: what's up with all the couples!?!
The ice queens were there. They were talking to a dude I knew so I made my way over to say hi to him. Since I was talking to him, the ice queens warmed up a bit. HBB!tch Carmen pipes up with:
HBB!tch: "Hey, are you drunk?"
V: "Uh... not yet. Why?"
HBB!tch: "I need a ride."
V: "What? To where?"
HBB!tch: "I need to pick up my kid by 01:30."
V: "HAHAHAH! I am the WRONG guy to be asking for a ride. Hahah!"
HBB!tch: *frowns, scowls*
V: "Hahaha! ... Hahahah! I walked here. Hahahah!"
(The "me walking" wasn't why I was laughing: The HB8 dropped to a 7 because of her crap attitude, then dropped to a 6, maybe even a 5 with the kid... she's not even in my league. So check out this move...)
V: *Turns around and talks to HB8Sidekick* "What's up, princess?" (she had a 'happy birthday' tiarra on)
Aww... totally gave HBB!tch the shoulder... :rockon:
HB8Sidekick: "Hey, aren't you the guy that showed me that picture of the bar?" *holds out hand*
V: "Yeah, why?" *takes hand*
HB8Sidekick: "I wanted to remember your name."
V: "...Are you always drunk?"
HB8Sidekick: "Nooo... it's my birthday... actually my birthday's Monday but (blah blah blah)."
V: "I see, a three day bender, huh? HB8Sidekick, right? So, you're a cancer, eh?"
HB8Sidekick: "Yeah, HB8Sidekick." *Solid EC* "What's your name?"
V: "Vulpine."
HB8Sidekick: "Why, are you a cancer?" *Still locked EC*
V: "..." *saying nothing, smiles bigger while EC'ing*
HB8Sidekick: "So you ARE. When's your birthday?"
Blah blah blah blah blah. She was giving the IOI's. I don't exactly remember where she let it slip, but it turns out she's a single mommy TOO!
Anyway, I was sore, tired, and the single mommies and couples weren't anything to stick around for, so I made for the door. When I got outside, fatty grabbed me and pulled me back in. I wanted to chit-chat her up a bit, so I agreed. We chatted, she left, I left. End of story. My mood wasn't very "up" so the night wasn't very exciting.
Fatty said something remarkable, though. She said something like, "You just came out of nowhere." The context of the conversation we had was that locals are "scared" of me. When I asked, "WTF is up with Divorced Coxbloxer dude?" She gave me an answer like "He just protects us girls when we are drunk."
That "scared of me" stuff isn't good. I've got to think of a way to get around that. Jeez, it's 2006. I didn't actually think small towns still had the "Your kind aint welcome 'round these parts" mentality. Hmm...
I buzzed into Madison to stop at the bank. The teller made comment about the heat.
Teller (HB7, HUGE rack): So, how are you getting along in this heat?
V: "What heat? I just move up from Orlando not to long ago, it's finally not cold."
Teller: "LOL. Orlando, huh? I just moved up from Georgia."
V: *Pocketing cash* "Right on." *Shuffling papers, zipping up planner*
Teller: "Do you need anything else?" *EC*
V: "No. Where in Georgia?"
Teller: "Savanna.... Do you need anything else?" *Steady EC + Smile*
V: *Pause + smile + EC* "...hmm" *pause, still haven't broke EC* "I should say no."
Teller: "Okay then, *pause, still EC'ing* have a good night."
Duh. Just duh. Maybe next time? Duh. I don't normally close "captive audiences" as rule, but this is a wake-up call: I should.
So I cruise over to the mall. I've been looking for a watch to match my ring. There isn't sh!t in black titanium exept Skagen. I have allergic skin reactions to metal cheaper than gold, and everything has stainless steel backs, even freakin' Movados! My FB works at a jewelry store, so I ducked in. We flipped through catalogs and she couldn't get Skagens there so I went to a store across the way. The chick behind the counter basically gave me deja vu like the same exact interaction as the teller at the bank. I NEED to start taking advantage of the opportunities, regardless if they are working or not. Duh.
So, after the errands, I stopped by the Lotus' work and lift some weights. I went home, washed up, ate and hit the WC.
The WC was packed. On the way in I walked past HBUT and her FUG friend getting hit on by some super dorky guys. I didn't even acknowledge her existence throughout the night. The place was packed with hotties that I didn't know. But, after some observation, all the hot ones were taken: what's up with all the couples!?!
The ice queens were there. They were talking to a dude I knew so I made my way over to say hi to him. Since I was talking to him, the ice queens warmed up a bit. HBB!tch Carmen pipes up with:
HBB!tch: "Hey, are you drunk?"
V: "Uh... not yet. Why?"
HBB!tch: "I need a ride."
V: "What? To where?"
HBB!tch: "I need to pick up my kid by 01:30."
V: "HAHAHAH! I am the WRONG guy to be asking for a ride. Hahah!"
HBB!tch: *frowns, scowls*
V: "Hahaha! ... Hahahah! I walked here. Hahahah!"
(The "me walking" wasn't why I was laughing: The HB8 dropped to a 7 because of her crap attitude, then dropped to a 6, maybe even a 5 with the kid... she's not even in my league. So check out this move...)
V: *Turns around and talks to HB8Sidekick* "What's up, princess?" (she had a 'happy birthday' tiarra on)
Aww... totally gave HBB!tch the shoulder... :rockon:
HB8Sidekick: "Hey, aren't you the guy that showed me that picture of the bar?" *holds out hand*
V: "Yeah, why?" *takes hand*
HB8Sidekick: "I wanted to remember your name."
V: "...Are you always drunk?"
HB8Sidekick: "Nooo... it's my birthday... actually my birthday's Monday but (blah blah blah)."
V: "I see, a three day bender, huh? HB8Sidekick, right? So, you're a cancer, eh?"
HB8Sidekick: "Yeah, HB8Sidekick." *Solid EC* "What's your name?"
V: "Vulpine."
HB8Sidekick: "Why, are you a cancer?" *Still locked EC*
V: "..." *saying nothing, smiles bigger while EC'ing*
HB8Sidekick: "So you ARE. When's your birthday?"
Blah blah blah blah blah. She was giving the IOI's. I don't exactly remember where she let it slip, but it turns out she's a single mommy TOO!
Anyway, I was sore, tired, and the single mommies and couples weren't anything to stick around for, so I made for the door. When I got outside, fatty grabbed me and pulled me back in. I wanted to chit-chat her up a bit, so I agreed. We chatted, she left, I left. End of story. My mood wasn't very "up" so the night wasn't very exciting.
Fatty said something remarkable, though. She said something like, "You just came out of nowhere." The context of the conversation we had was that locals are "scared" of me. When I asked, "WTF is up with Divorced Coxbloxer dude?" She gave me an answer like "He just protects us girls when we are drunk."
That "scared of me" stuff isn't good. I've got to think of a way to get around that. Jeez, it's 2006. I didn't actually think small towns still had the "Your kind aint welcome 'round these parts" mentality. Hmm...
RedPill
Master Don Juan
Wow dude, that's bullsh!t. That's exactly why I hate small towns - small-mindedness. Completely backwards. I didn't realize how small your town was until this latest update on your story. These characters (which btw you've started an excellent trend here by giving names to the recurring people in your story) have been showing up at these same bars, seeing the same faces year after year after year. It's like at age 30 you're crashing their party which has been going on since high school. I think your best bet for success is winning over the crowd, a few people at a time. You should get that scrabble party going.
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
This is another example of why we guys in populated areas CANNOT F*CKING COMPLAIN, because we basically have an infinite selection of ladies compared to poor Vulpine and other dudes in small towns.
Vulpine: I think you are rocking given the situation. Keep it up.
Now I need to go kick my own ass for having any scarcity mentality here in sunny South Florida. Thanks for the inspiration.
Vulpine: I think you are rocking given the situation. Keep it up.
Now I need to go kick my own ass for having any scarcity mentality here in sunny South Florida. Thanks for the inspiration.
mcqueen207
Don Juan
Vulpine for prez !!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.