FR/more advice needed. get your reading glasses ready

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

I DUNNO WHY ITS DOUBLE SPACING IT BUT WAY TOO TIRED TO CHANGE IT.
Not really sure where to start but man, it was a helluva night; in a good way! So were out front of the club/bar waiting for

everyone, and here comes the guy that fought with his whole entourage and this girl with them comes running up and gives me this

huge hug where i pick her up and spin her around.(damn good, cuz the whole group saw it) It takes me a sec or 2 but i realize its

this girl I hung out with when i was 20/21, during this time things started to get kinda serious, but i ended it because i had just

gotten out of a long ass relationship, and had alot of plates spinning at that time. it was because she more of a relationship-type

chick for sure, then the party girl/having 10 dudes on speed dial type.

Anyway, night begins and we're having a GREAT time, i'm being ****y funny, nice sometimes. i couldnt believe everything the girl

remembered about me and we were def hitting it off again, but i also made sure i was flirting and hitting on every girl(in our

group n not in our group) within 5 feet whenever she walked away to another part of the group so i think i struck a nice balance.

After a lot of drinking and changing of venues, i FEEL like the girl isn't paying me all that much attention as she was before (i

mean logistics weren't ideal, i didnt kno ANY of these ppl or their drama cept for her and my boy i came with. alotta them are like

high school buddies so it was hard to tell for sure the 'relationships') so I focus my energy on this other chick i hadn't even

said much to the whole night. Things are going very well, plus i help her try to find her bracelet and make fun of her the whole

time. I'm about to smoke this boogie when she rips the **** outta my ear and is like i hate smokers, bla bla. I proceed to rip

her a new one about how gay that is and that she doesnt even kno me or give a **** and she eats it up. I take her back to our room

and she meets her friend she came to AC with hooking up with my boy! lol! anyway we **** around and i get like a LITTLE bit of

head, not enuff tho! then shes like "this cant go any further",(turns out she sum type of b/f) bla bla bla. I couldn't get past

it(i prob shoulda just whipped it out completely and like been more forceful but o well) so we end up passing out not too long

after. Alot more went on throughout the night but i didnt mean for this to be like a long ass field report thing lol.

So there's two REAL issues here i rly need help with. Ok first is regarding the girl i slept with (well sorta). We actually ended

up chilling just now tonite: me, her, her friend and my friend (all the same ppl as that night). I think it went okayyy, but only

ok man. We were sitting around watching the laker game just bullshyting. Me n my girl had some good convo here and there and I

was trying to work in some kino here and there but wasn't feeling all that natural, plus she didnt give any back. I had her

laughing a cpl times but I dunno i think i over analyze shyt but at the end were leaving and i'm coping a feel and talkin bout how

were gunna hang out saturday, we're bout to leave and i give her a kiss on the mouth which didnt go like horribly but idk why, it

just didnt feel natural or felt forced sorta which it was on her part anyway i guess. i then for some reason was like how bout

wednesday we should chill get something to eat just me n u. she was like ok call me. For some dumbass reason I go back for one more

kiss as i leave and she like pulls back. ****! dunno why i went for it again... Also my friend and the other girl seemed like they

were alittle ahead of us touchy feely wise (prob cuz my friends game is tighter then mine atm which was ****ing with me to a bit

cuz i'm thinkin like damn, my girl better not like this guy now or some shyt.
This girl is cute for sure but she can be like alittle tom-boyish and like assertive about shyt(love sports and shyt, or pretends

to anyway). These types of chicks give me hell. I can get them to like me pretty much but can never rly escalate and close the

deal for some damn reason. Its like i need constant reassurance that the chick likes me still or something even tho she invited me

over earlier today b4 i could even ask what she was doin. Plus i'm feelin super insecure about my situation right now (no car, job,

or apt). I just was wondering how u deal with these chicks and what i could do to make her interest spike because i think tonight

was only like just a steady heartbeat(or at least i HOPE it will be thouhgt of as that in her head).


Not done yet men sry lol...
Issue number 2 is with back in the day girl. I would love to somehow smooth this over and actually chill with this chick because i

actually like this one. When we left the casino some of the group met up at this rest stop where i see 'back in the day chick' walking out

as we walk in. Shes doesnt even ****in look at me till i recognize her and am like "hey u, wat up" she's says, 'hey' and keeps on

walking. I forgot to mention the girl i hooked up with was her cousins best friend, my friend's hook-up was THE cousin. ( so she

def was aware some shyt went down) So now i'm wondering wtf my next move should be.
I can't front, i like her. i've always thought i messed up dissing her back then and would LOVE another shot. SHe gave me her

number at one point in the night when she thought she was leavin and was def. feelin me for awhile there. But the coldness at the

rest stop was obvious and i would love to know how to smooth **** over and possibly chill with her again some time. All that aside, I was

thinking of maybe calling her tomorrow nite(wanted to tonite but got home to late) just to say what up and bullshyt alittle

hopefully see where shes at, and make plans to chill this coming wkend or something. Is this salvagable tho?

 

[Kailex]

I'll give you the short and sweet version:

Case #1:
Yes, you overthought the situation.
The moment she told you that it wasn't going any further, you had to plow through that resistance by doing something more to turn HER on, not necessarily just "whipping it out" but by invading HER comfort zone.

Then the next day you were acting as IF something had happened and as IF you two had shared a connection, which you didn't.

By continually asking about plans and trying to kiss, you came across as needy and desperate to her. Just try to chill and be a little more laid back... specially with someone who was basically ready to get laid but then offered LMR and then basically did... NOTHING.


Case #2:

Forget back in the day girl.
That's too much drama. You said HEY and she basically played you off. By calling her, all you are going to do is stir your own emotions. You and me have been having conversations with this girl for the past few months. That's already too much time.

Forget about her.
The only way she is going to come back to you is if she embarks on an LTR with someone else and then you go back to being "Fall-guy" for her.

She doesn't seem interested in rekindling anything or else she would have already reached out to you.


Conclusion:

AC is over.
High, work on getting that job. You sound to me like someone who used to have some tight inner game, but because of a set of unfortunate circumstances, you seem to be at the bottom of the inner-game ladder. Try building yourself up from within.

The fact that you could even go back to a room with a girl, suggests a starting point, and it's probably more than what half of this forum could even get to.

Again, the trip is over. You had a decent weekend. Work on YOURSELF.
Any plans involving women should be secondary, specially with Case #1. She shouldn't be your main priority. Yes, you can see her, call her, go out with her... but YOU come first. By worrying too much, you are only placing her on a pedestal. And we don't do pedestals here in SoSuave.

Best of luck.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Damn kailex, your words are piercing, in a good way. idk exactly what happened but at some point after the age of like 23/24 my inner game started goin to **** because of brushes wit the law that kinda costed me everything i had at the time. i remember tho having this feeling like no girl could tell me shyt, will take some time to get back to that.

one thing tho i dunno if it changes anything in your mind but this actually was a different 'back in the day chick,' not that one i was asking u about last month. that one, i put her on the back burner like u said and that has worked very nicely. with this one, she was like a good girl back then and at that time i was just fluckin girls like crazy lol so i wasn't tryna break any hearts so i ended it.

damn the pedastal comment is on point too. i always do that shyt after the fact. like at first i wont give a fluck, until they show interest then i tend to overthink it.
Which is exactly what i did regarding last night. As awkard as it ended, I musta did better than i thought cuz she been texting me like crazy since 8am. i also didnt write back since like an hr ago and while writing this just got another txt from her wondering if i feel asleep. so just gunna try to take it easy with this one.

does anyone have like a phrase they say in their head when dealing with chicks in order to keep a strong frame? not like, 'whatever i dont care what happens' but something along those lines

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

wow. turns out these girls are cousins......

wtf. i shoulda known this they look almost exactly ALIKE lol damn i have a certain taste for sure. i thought the girl my FRIEND hooked up with was their cousin.

i think i handled it pretty good but the interaction was all thru txt. when she asked if i knew "back in the day chick" i wrote 'yes. is that a problem? i knew her on some back in the day shyt.' she was like 'o is that why u like me'. i was like na just good genes i guess ha and then was like wait, who said i like you? she wrote back 'u didnt i was just fishing' with a happy face winking an eye and i havent wrote back.

so i dunno but damn this should be interesting..

 

[Kailex]

Just have fun with life.

That's all you need to do. Stop worrying so much about what is and what isn't. Life is too short to be worried bout women and what they're thinking and how to approach and what not...

Learn RIGHT NOW that:

Priority #1: YOU
Priority #2: Everything/Everyone else.

You have things to you need to be getting done. I'm sure every second you spend here posting is a second less you are spending doing your own thing and trying to find a job and getting your life straightened out.

Remember, you had posted that you want to accomplish several goals. Your life needs to be about YOU first. Women are supposed to be an added value to our lives, not the main focus. So, work on YOU first, and the women will follow... and soon enough, you'll be having multiple options that you won't have enough time for because you have a full life that you are living.