FR: Lost a MILF and scouted Philly

BPH

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I was relaxing and unwinding in the middle of a game before bed when I lost internet. Now that it's back, I don't have enough time to fire up that game again, but I thought I'd detail this last weekend to see if anybody knows where I might've gone wrong, and if anybody cares to weigh in on Philadelphia.

Friday - Field Report

Originally wanted to go up to Philly, but it was a busy work day, and workout, and I had the friends I wanted to go with flake on me. It's been a little more than a month since I had my falling out with my ex upon finding she lied to me, so I no longer have her as a semi-regular source of sex, and now starts the pain in the ass of finding somewhere that I can meet women in this barren state before my dry spell gets too long...

Newark isn't an option right now because the college is on spring break. I considered West Chester, but it's usually more fun on a Saturday up there. So I decided I'd check a couple more places in Delaware.

I ignored Trolley because I never had a good time there. Started out at Cork & Barrel, lame. Went to Tyler's next, even more lame. Then visited Corner Cove because a friend of mine from my gym bartends there, even lamer.

I had a short talk with him and he shared my sentiment that it sucks out here in Delaware as a single guy and that he didn't really have any recommendations beyond the places I'd already visited and considered. I finish my drink and I'm just about to leave when these two hot older women walk in, clearly buzzed and in "party mode". My bartender buddy and I had the same idea, so I asked him which one he liked better because I thought both were hot. He told me the brunette, so I decided I'd go for the blonde.

Went over, introduced myself, and we all hit it off pretty well. They were both flirty but unfortunately for my buddy, the girl he wanted was married. Luckily for me, mine was single. Turns out she was 40 years old, and had children but they're all grown, once divorced, and makes really good money working as both a nurse and some sort of manager for Amtrak.

Both of them thought I was very attractive and couldn't believe I was a whole 10 years younger than them. My girl asked a couple of times why I'd want a 40-year-old woman rather than some younger girl. I told her I was picky (plus there weren't any attractive young girls there).

The night goes on, and eventually, the bar closes but the girls want to stay and hang out with me and the bartender. My girl is very touchy, we make out a few times, at one point I even ask her what she's doing later to which she replies "hopefully you". She lives nearby and I told her I could give them both a ride. I've been here before, and I'm feeling confident. But then something happens, and I'm not sure what...

My girl went to the bathroom, second time that night so I don't think it was "code" or anything. She ends up taking a while, so her friend goes to check on her. Some time passes and they both leave the bathroom and start walking to the door to leave like I wasn't there. My buddy looks over at me and says "I thought you were bangin her tonight?" to which I replied, "so did I".

With no reason to stay anymore, I decided to leave as well. While leaving, I catch them walking back and offer them a ride. They initially ignore me then both say no, so I leave.

My best guess is that my girl got too drunk and maybe her friend talked her out of bringing me home...but that doesn't explain why she was also ignorant of me when she left the bathroom. Maybe she puked or something? Really not sure. I didn't get her number before I left either, thought I would get it the morning after.

If anybody sees something I don't, let me know.

Saturday - Philly

Again, I wanted to go visit Philly with some friends, but they flaked last minute. I decided I wanted to get a feel for whether I'd want to make the trip out here in the hopes of being around some more women, so I decided to go by myself.

The Phillies lost their game, so I figured the bars wouldn't be packed with sports fans. It was Saturday, and in most places, I found Friday > Saturday, so I was curious. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't great either, a bit cool and rainy, and I knew it would be expensive, but I made the trip anyway.

Overall, I wasn't impressed...as far as quality goes, it's pretty similar to West Chester with the exception that these aren't all college students. Out of the bars I visited, there were several decent girls, but I only saw maybe 2 or 3 that I thought were actually hot.

Tradesman's - First bar I visited. Had a short line and looked packed inside, so I started here. Crammed full of dudes. A couple of average girls, but I didn't feel like breaking a sweat to get through the mosh pit and order a drink at the bar. Left soon after arriving.

Bru Craft & Wurst - One of my buddies who flaked the night before was supposedly here, so I thought I'd check this bar next. Pretty small, nothing special, walked from end-to-end and didn't see any reasons to stay, so that was short-lived as well.

U-Bahn - Last week I visited and found some of my fraternity buddies living out here. I asked where they recommend going as a single guy, and one suggested this bar. It looked like a downstairs kinda thing because it was just a staircase. There was no line, and when I asked the bouncer he even suggested I go elsewhere.

Wicked Wolf - This is where I was last week with my brother and another friend, and so far I probably like it the best. Some cute girls (though the best-looking ones by a mile are unfortunately the bartenders), not too packed, good music, and a club-esque dancefloor. A random dude started asking me what I eat, remarking that I was big and ripped. Apparently he just genuinely wanted to know what I do, just a random encounter with a nice guy. I asked him the question about where he'd go as a single guy. His answer? West Chester...he told me that it's ok out here, but he meets more cute girls grocery shopping than he does at the club. He and his buddy say they're going to another bar called Barstool, and I'm welcome to come with. I stay for a little longer, then decide to check it out.

Barstool - This is where I saw the hottest girls. There were only 2 or 3, and they were talking to a guy the entire time, so I assume they weren't single. The place was pretty packed, and there was a downstairs section that was basically a frat basement with a bar and strobe lights. Seems like it has the same problem as the first few bars - just a whole lot of guys and average or below-average girls. I do like a lap or two, don't see the guys from earlier, and leave.

Vesper - This is the club I visited a few times while dating my ex, and once for a friend's birthday. I actually enjoyed myself here and tried to go last week with my brother, and tonight after Barstool. Both times it was closed. I actually asked the bartender at Wicked Wolf, because it says it's open online, but there was no line and the door was closed both times. I want to figure out what's the deal with this because I think I would much rather go to a club than a typical bar.

Concourse - Can't find it. Used Maps last week and walked to where it's supposed to be, couldn't find it. Heard good things about it, and was closed this Saturday, but don't know what I'm looking for.

JJ Bootleggers - This was a recommendation from the guy at Wicked Wolf. Says it's mostly college and that he and his buddy thought it was pretty easy to leave with a girl from here. Didn't visit this spot, but it's somewhere I should probably give a chance when it's not a rainy Easter Saturday following a Phillies loss.

After all that, walked about a half mile past several sketchy homeless people and drove home with zero *****.

Any Philadelphia connoisseurs would love to know what the good spots are. My current evaluation is that this is essentially a more expensive and slightly further West Chester. The benefit is that it's NOT a college town, so the girls probably won't be as put off by my "older age", but I also noticed the police presence is much higher in West Chester, making it difficult to drive home without getting stopped, as that's happened to my friends and I several times while headed home from a night out.

That's all for tonight, would love to read thoughts on either event.
 

Bingo-Player

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Are you usually into older women ? for me they are always an absolute last resort most of them are holding a lot of issues and problems from past relationships and their overall perception of all men is usually disturbing

A prolonged bathroom trip is very rarely good news , doesnt matter what age they are they go in there too discuss wether they are DTF and they will go through every eventuality known to man in the process if one of them doesn't fancy it usually the whole thing is off , my guess is yours got cold feet at the last minute and the friend was obviously not in the mood to help you out

its not really worth thinking anymore about it just women being women

--------------------------------

with regards to the rest I have never been to Philly nor am I overly familiar with USA nightlife but I have been to bars and clubs all over the world

The places you're describing dont sound like the types of places attractive / classy women or really any women will be hanging out in ....they sound dead

Women are highly socially calibrated they dont tend to just go out and "see where they end up" they will have a set schedule with popular venues

if I was you I would start investing time and energy into making some local female friends NOT women you're trying to sleep with

its easier said than done and establishing freindships with women is tricky because they are duplicitous as fvck and you have to be very very careful what you say and how you say it

But when done correctly it can pay huge dividends because you gain access to not only their friends but freinds of their freinds you get a level of pre selection even if its just " this guys not a creep "

and also you get to know where all the busy/ cool places are

Its what I immediately started doing when I arrived in Melbourne , now a chick im friendly with invited me to her birthday in a couple of weeks theres gonna be like 30-40 girls there for me too explore
 

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Wow. I thought Delaware was only good for corporate and LLC formations. Is Newark, DE, pronounced differently than Newark, NJ, so people do not get confused? I was told this by someone.
 

SW15

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Both nights were a disaster.

There's very little that you could have done differently with that particular prospect on Friday night in Delaware. The only thing comment to make is not putting effort into 40 year old women with 20 year old children when you're a 29 year old childless man. You were either going to get the same night sex there (likely only for one night) or not. You didn't get it for whatever reason. Try not to think of that night again.

Saturday night in Philadelphia was going to be tough rolling solo to bars. Rolling solo to bars isn't easy. I have done it before and I wouldn't rule it out. It simply isn't my preference for a night out. Also, your Philadelphia logistics stink for pulling pussie. It's not surprising in the slightest bit that your Philadelphia night was a waste of time.
 

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Wow. I thought Delaware was only good for corporate and LLC formations. Is Newark, DE, pronounced differently than Newark, NJ, so people do not get confused? I was told this by someone.
DE: New Ark

NJ: Newark
 

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Philly sucks generally speaking. I went to school there. Philly and the suburbs there for all sorts of reason are just trash.
 

SW15

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Philly sucks generally speaking. I went to school there. Philly and the suburbs there for all sorts of reason are just trash.
Philadelphia is the best choice for @BPH . While Philadelphia might stink as compared to comparably sized areas, it's likely better than anything in Delaware.
 

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Philadelphia is the best choice for @BPH . While Philadelphia might stink as compared to comparably sized areas, it's likely better than anything in Delaware.
I wouldn’t disagree with that. To get a quality woman in Philly you either need to meet in college or you need to meet through the social scene. Philly is one of the richest and also poorest areas in the country at the same time. As such the middle market so to speak doesn’t exist. @BPH should scout the main line around the colleges when they are back in session.
 

SW15

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Philadelphia is the best choice for @BPH . While Philadelphia might stink as compared to comparably sized areas, it's likely better than anything in Delaware.
I wouldn’t disagree with that. To get a quality woman in Philly you either need to meet in college or you need to meet through the social scene. Philly is one of the richest and also poorest areas in the country at the same time. As such the middle market so to speak doesn’t exist. @BPH should scout the main line around the colleges when they are back in session.
Philadelphia seems like it would be very social circle dependent. That's a different experience from Dallas.

In Dallas, there are so many transplants arriving daily from other parts of the USA and some internationally. As a result, social circles in Dallas are weaker.

Because social circles in Dallas tend to be weaker, people aren't closed off. Stranger approaches are usually at least cordial and there isn't any hostility to outsiders, unlike some other areas of the USA. The rootless nature of a lot of transplanted to Dallas adults leads to a lot of app-based dating, which puts men in a more difficult position.

The weak social circles do contribute to Dallas' pretentious reputation. Because a lot of people are meeting strangers, there are no consequences for bad behavior. When there's no attachment, women can be as superficial as they please.

Having a social circle will help make things easier in Dallas, but I think the presence/absence of a social circle is more integral to the Philadelphia experience.
 

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Philadelphia seems like it would be very social circle dependent. That's a different experience from Dallas.

In Dallas, there are so many transplants arriving daily from other parts of the USA and some internationally. As a result, social circles in Dallas are weaker.

Because social circles in Dallas tend to be weaker, people aren't closed off. Stranger approaches are usually at least cordial and there isn't any hostility to outsiders, unlike some other areas of the USA. The rootless nature of a lot of transplanted to Dallas adults leads to a lot of app-based dating, which puts men in a more difficult position.

The weak social circles do contribute to Dallas' pretentious reputation. Because a lot of people are meeting strangers, there are no consequences for bad behavior. When there's no attachment, women can be as superficial as they please.

Having a social circle will help make things easier in Dallas, but I think the presence/absence of a social circle is more integral to the Philadelphia experience.
Also his girl from Friday was probably blowing coke in the bathroom and overloaded. 40 with grown kids, what a catch! I would guess she was dtf until the party got a little too intense for her.
 

BPH

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Are you usually into older women ? for me they are always an absolute last resort most of them are holding a lot of issues and problems from past relationships and their overall perception of all men is usually disturbing

A prolonged bathroom trip is very rarely good news , doesnt matter what age they are they go in there too discuss wether they are DTF and they will go through every eventuality known to man in the process if one of them doesn't fancy it usually the whole thing is off , my guess is yours got cold feet at the last minute and the friend was obviously not in the mood to help you out

its not really worth thinking anymore about it just women being women

--------------------------------

with regards to the rest I have never been to Philly nor am I overly familiar with USA nightlife but I have been to bars and clubs all over the world

The places you're describing dont sound like the types of places attractive / classy women or really any women will be hanging out in ....they sound dead

Women are highly socially calibrated they dont tend to just go out and "see where they end up" they will have a set schedule with popular venues

if I was you I would start investing time and energy into making some local female friends NOT women you're trying to sleep with

its easier said than done and establishing freindships with women is tricky because they are duplicitous as fvck and you have to be very very careful what you say and how you say it

But when done correctly it can pay huge dividends because you gain access to not only their friends but freinds of their freinds you get a level of pre selection even if its just " this guys not a creep "

and also you get to know where all the busy/ cool places are

Its what I immediately started doing when I arrived in Melbourne , now a chick im friendly with invited me to her birthday in a couple of weeks theres gonna be like 30-40 girls there for me too explore
Older women aren't my preference, but hot is hot. I'm picky, but I don't discriminate.

It's odd because the friend was enjoying my company too, but once they left the bathroom the vibe completely changed. I haven't given it much thought, but that's mostly because I couldn't think of anything I did wrong.

As far as female friends in Delaware, I wouldn't say that's really worth pursuing since I already know the "good" spots in Delaware, I just don't think they're good; everybody defaults to Trolley Square and Dewey Beach in the summer, but it's still the same problem as everywhere else - lots of guys, very average girls, like 1 or 2 actual hotties.

Wow. I thought Delaware was only good for corporate and LLC formations. Is Newark, DE, pronounced differently than Newark, NJ, so people do not get confused? I was told this by someone.
Well we don't have sales tax either, but otherwise yeah, we're the drive-thru state.

Both nights were a disaster.

There's very little that you could have done differently with that particular prospect on Friday night in Delaware. The only thing comment to make is not putting effort into 40 year old women with 20 year old children when you're a 29 year old childless man. You were either going to get the same night sex there (likely only for one night) or not. You didn't get it for whatever reason. Try not to think of that night again.
Also his girl from Friday was probably blowing coke in the bathroom and overloaded. 40 with grown kids, what a catch! I would guess she was dtf until the party got a little too intense for her.
Yeah, well dry spell's been a few weeks, she and her friend were hot, and I'm not trying to fix their life problems and save them.

That said, genuinely not sure what happened here. Didn't buy them drinks or anything, but was annoyed I wasted 2 hours with them, 1 of which was after closing.

I wouldn’t disagree with that. To get a quality woman in Philly you either need to meet in college or you need to meet through the social scene. Philly is one of the richest and also poorest areas in the country at the same time. As such the middle market so to speak doesn’t exist. @BPH should scout the main line around the colleges when they are back in session.
I'll keep that in mind. It's about on par with West Chester in terms of quality, which isn't bad, but it's a long drive, expensive, and often has a cover charge.

I'd like to take a look at the clubs, since the only time I ever visited those was when I was with my ex, but I'm not sure why they're always closed when everybody is telling me they should be open.
 

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My guess is she has a boyfriend that asked what she was doing at the bar making out with you...maybe he had some friends that tipped him off...

Either that or she got a really bad case of cold feet. Or maybe she started her period in the bathroom and couldn't bear the embarrassment of telling you that.
 

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Older women aren't my preference, but hot is hot. I'm picky, but I don't discriminate.

It's odd because the friend was enjoying my company too, but once they left the bathroom the vibe completely changed. I haven't given it much thought, but that's mostly because I couldn't think of anything I did wrong.

As far as female friends in Delaware, I wouldn't say that's really worth pursuing since I already know the "good" spots in Delaware, I just don't think they're good; everybody defaults to Trolley Square and Dewey Beach in the summer, but it's still the same problem as everywhere else - lots of guys, very average girls, like 1 or 2 actual hotties.



Well we don't have sales tax either, but otherwise yeah, we're the drive-thru state.





Yeah, well dry spell's been a few weeks, she and her friend were hot, and I'm not trying to fix their life problems and save them.

That said, genuinely not sure what happened here. Didn't buy them drinks or anything, but was annoyed I wasted 2 hours with them, 1 of which was after closing.



I'll keep that in mind. It's about on par with West Chester in terms of quality, which isn't bad, but it's a long drive, expensive, and often has a cover charge.

I'd like to take a look at the clubs, since the only time I ever visited those was when I was with my ex, but I'm not sure why they're always closed when everybody is telling me they should be open.
West Chester is okay. Philly is okay. Main line has the best young talent since its colleges including women only schools. Those women are a little more liberated and you should start hitting places like Brownies on Thursdays to get a vibe of the area.
 

BPH

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Damn...any other suggestions? Assuming I'm looking at the correct spot, Main Line is just a surburban area in Philly?
Look in the area I gave you. That’s Villanova so if there aren’t bars there I would be shocked.
 
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BPH

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Look in the area I gave you. That’s Villanova so if there aren’t bars there I would be shocked.
Looks like it's about the same distance from me as Philly. I could start in Ardmore since that's where that one bar was, but I've never been suggested Villanova and don't know a single thing about the area.

Quick Google search showed that they're back from their spring break this week.
 
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