Went on a date with a chick from the internet yesterday, first date I've been on with someone from online actually, and was interesting, really hammered home how key body language and non-verbal signals really are.
well, it started a couple of weeks ago when she saw my profile and sent me a message, she had no photo but her message was pretty cool and she was 22 (I'm 25) so I thought I'd give her a shot, over the course of about a week or we exchanged 1 or 2 emails, hers were really really long, I did a word count on one of them it was over 1000, but she kept them interesting and we had alot in common, and she seemed really interested, she was asking me loads of questions, and there was a little bit of mild flirting, but nothing sexual. I realised though that replying to her emails was taking way too long and was getting pissed off with the amount of time it took me, so I sent her a reply listing all the stuff we were now chatting about, said I was busy and didn't have that much time to send long emails so how about we do things the old fashioned way and meet up next week. She replied the next day agreeing to meet and attached a photo, her face was partly obscured by a hat (hence why it wasn't on the site) but it was enough to see that she wasn't a complete ugo or fat. She still had plenty of rambling stuff in her mail though, exchanged a couple more mails before we actually met, talking about our weekends and other general small talk and planning tuesday.
So, I got to the bar early, when she walked in I was pretty pleased, she was actually pretty good looking, a bit like an uglier version of summer from the OC but obviously still nice looking. So after a minute or two I'd decided I really liked her and I realised that my body language was demonstrating this, I was smiling alot, making lots of eye contact, very open posture etc. She on the other hand was showing very defensive body language, arms crossed alot of the time, not as much eye contact and sometimes sitting with her body angled side on to the table rather than directly facing me.. The evening went pretty well though, we got on really well and had alot in common and to talk about and there weren't any uncomfortable silences, but I wasn't getting any signals at all, so there wasn't really any flirting. I may have made the mistake of talking too much, but alot of the time she was turning the conversation back onto me alot anyway.
After just over 3 hours (by which time we'd gone to a restaurant) we'd finished our meal and she said she thought she'd better go home, I thought it was fair enough, it was 10, a tuesday, we were both reasonably drunk, and she had a cold plus xmas stuff to go to with work later in the week.
By now I was aware that I wasn't gonna get anywhere but I wanted to stay in touch ideally as she had hot friends and went out to similar places that I did. So when we left she was saying how it was nice to meet me etc. I said something like, even if nothing does happen its always cool to meet someone new and have a nice evening out (trying to demonstrate that I understood she didn't fancy me, I was ok with that, but it'd be nice to stay friends) and said we should stay in touch.. She said "yeah, we don't live too far from each other after all" and her last words to me were, "email me".. However maybe its just me being paranoid and insecure, but it had the ring of stuff she was just reeling off to be polite to it.
Well I did, on wednesday night, just a bit of general chit chat and saying I'd really enjoyed myself, it'd be cool to meet again, and I'd let her know next time I was out in our local area with my friends. No reply yet, so I guess she's not that bothered about being friends with me either, well not to worry, NEXT.
Anyway, my conclusion is that yes, we'd got on really well, but when she'd seen me I'd not been what she was hoping for from my photo (you can't see how skinny I am from it for example) so she'd decided she didn't really fancy me, I don't think it was my personality since we'd got on so well over email, got on well during the date and her body language was cold almost from the moment she sat down. The question is, is there anything I really could have done during the date to try and turn it around or are we doomed if a woman looks at you and thinks "no, not my type, I wouldn't want to sleep with him".. It just ruined my game, I concluded from her body language that she wasn't interested in me sexually at all so it totally put me off trying to make her more interested... I just chatted to her like I would a good mate.
Of course maybe I got it all completely wrong and she was just playing hard to get or waiting to see, in which case the fact I didn't really try and flirt with her or try any kino was a mistake.. I don't think so though, she'd have replied to my email by now if she was at all interested I guess she was imagining something else from my photo. Tts just annoying because I really liked her and she wasn't bad looking either, still not much I can do about it now, must remember, no pedestal usage and NEXT.
well, it started a couple of weeks ago when she saw my profile and sent me a message, she had no photo but her message was pretty cool and she was 22 (I'm 25) so I thought I'd give her a shot, over the course of about a week or we exchanged 1 or 2 emails, hers were really really long, I did a word count on one of them it was over 1000, but she kept them interesting and we had alot in common, and she seemed really interested, she was asking me loads of questions, and there was a little bit of mild flirting, but nothing sexual. I realised though that replying to her emails was taking way too long and was getting pissed off with the amount of time it took me, so I sent her a reply listing all the stuff we were now chatting about, said I was busy and didn't have that much time to send long emails so how about we do things the old fashioned way and meet up next week. She replied the next day agreeing to meet and attached a photo, her face was partly obscured by a hat (hence why it wasn't on the site) but it was enough to see that she wasn't a complete ugo or fat. She still had plenty of rambling stuff in her mail though, exchanged a couple more mails before we actually met, talking about our weekends and other general small talk and planning tuesday.
So, I got to the bar early, when she walked in I was pretty pleased, she was actually pretty good looking, a bit like an uglier version of summer from the OC but obviously still nice looking. So after a minute or two I'd decided I really liked her and I realised that my body language was demonstrating this, I was smiling alot, making lots of eye contact, very open posture etc. She on the other hand was showing very defensive body language, arms crossed alot of the time, not as much eye contact and sometimes sitting with her body angled side on to the table rather than directly facing me.. The evening went pretty well though, we got on really well and had alot in common and to talk about and there weren't any uncomfortable silences, but I wasn't getting any signals at all, so there wasn't really any flirting. I may have made the mistake of talking too much, but alot of the time she was turning the conversation back onto me alot anyway.
After just over 3 hours (by which time we'd gone to a restaurant) we'd finished our meal and she said she thought she'd better go home, I thought it was fair enough, it was 10, a tuesday, we were both reasonably drunk, and she had a cold plus xmas stuff to go to with work later in the week.
By now I was aware that I wasn't gonna get anywhere but I wanted to stay in touch ideally as she had hot friends and went out to similar places that I did. So when we left she was saying how it was nice to meet me etc. I said something like, even if nothing does happen its always cool to meet someone new and have a nice evening out (trying to demonstrate that I understood she didn't fancy me, I was ok with that, but it'd be nice to stay friends) and said we should stay in touch.. She said "yeah, we don't live too far from each other after all" and her last words to me were, "email me".. However maybe its just me being paranoid and insecure, but it had the ring of stuff she was just reeling off to be polite to it.
Well I did, on wednesday night, just a bit of general chit chat and saying I'd really enjoyed myself, it'd be cool to meet again, and I'd let her know next time I was out in our local area with my friends. No reply yet, so I guess she's not that bothered about being friends with me either, well not to worry, NEXT.
Anyway, my conclusion is that yes, we'd got on really well, but when she'd seen me I'd not been what she was hoping for from my photo (you can't see how skinny I am from it for example) so she'd decided she didn't really fancy me, I don't think it was my personality since we'd got on so well over email, got on well during the date and her body language was cold almost from the moment she sat down. The question is, is there anything I really could have done during the date to try and turn it around or are we doomed if a woman looks at you and thinks "no, not my type, I wouldn't want to sleep with him".. It just ruined my game, I concluded from her body language that she wasn't interested in me sexually at all so it totally put me off trying to make her more interested... I just chatted to her like I would a good mate.
Of course maybe I got it all completely wrong and she was just playing hard to get or waiting to see, in which case the fact I didn't really try and flirt with her or try any kino was a mistake.. I don't think so though, she'd have replied to my email by now if she was at all interested I guess she was imagining something else from my photo. Tts just annoying because I really liked her and she wasn't bad looking either, still not much I can do about it now, must remember, no pedestal usage and NEXT.
() and real life. But I plowed through it and got some HJs. I made her cheat on her BF too...