"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Fr: Hilarity / Very Close Call

dipset_mafia

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Okay, heres the situation.

I'm heading to a local club/bar ... with me is my girlfriend (formerly my ex gf) and another friend... we're meeting up with some people at the bar...

Okay, we get there... go to check our coats... ))) I spot the girl that i just dumped like 2 weeks ago ((( we haven't spoke since... she's at the coat check - i dip into the bathroom really quickly... she may have noticed me, but noticed that i "didn't notice her" .. my girl and my buddy check their coats, i come out of the washroom, check mine too.....

anyway, we grab a pitcher.. we're sittin in the bottom of the bar waiting on some other people... i'm facing the wall, my friend is on my right and my girl is on my left at a circular table at about centre bar... all the sudden my buddy starts saying...,

"man.. I can't remember how I know that girl..."

"I just can't put a name to that face... "

HE GOES ON FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES!!!

"She's right over there man, directly behind you, then behind that pillar"

at this point my girl and my buddy are both looking over there telling me to check to see if i know who it is... i know damn well who it is!!!

so i'm like.. "oh ya? what does she look like?" him: "tall, brunette, attractive..." me: "oh really?, thats neat" him: "look behind you man, shes right behind you"

I'm about to flip out at this point (as my current girl has no knowledge of this, and I wanted to avoid any possible drama from occurring) so I decided to lead my party upstairs to look for people... my girl and my buddy GO TOWARDS THE GIRL.. my girls like, "come this way, we're gonna see who that is" me: "no, this way is faster"

I'm nearly busting a GUT at my friend right now... I finally get a chance to tell him.. he went so fvcking wide eyed it was ridiculous.. I'm like "will you shut the fvck up!! thats _____!!!!"

soo i was able to escape that situation... we head up stairs to the middle floor.. find the guys we were lookin for.. drink it down.. bunch of other people show up.. turns out its another buddy of mines roomate's birthday.. bought the guy a shot, so now theres like roughly 20 people we know in the bar.. one of my buddies ask me to shoot some pool.. i leave my girl with my other buddy and everyone else at the table............. I GO TO THE WASHROOM... on the way towards the stairs to come back up... i see the EX.. i turn my head and walk upstairs... then i hear it... "THE LEAST YOU COULD HAVE SAID WAS HI!!!!!!!" and then a loud extended SCREAM... i get back upstairs to my pool game... she storms up to me repeats what she yelled to me while i was on the stairs... i look at her wondering if i can say, "oh i didn't see you there" but i aired on the side of honesty and just apologized..

she left the club.. not 15 seconds after she leaves.. my girl walks over...

RIDICULOUS... What I can't get over is my friend that had the 10 minute conversation about.. "who's that girl, she said hi to me, i can't figure out who that is.... " meanwhile im sitting there like.. you fvcking douche
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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ethnomethodologist

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Dude, I love drama!

If I saw that girl, I would have walked straight up to her, before I even went to the bathroom. Walk straight up to her, give her a quick staredown, and said your still looking good. She would say hi to me, and I'd nod my head in approval, stare over at my new gf and back at her. Don't even try it, I'm taken.

THAN go to the washroom.

Too bad that option is out of the picture, time for some damage control eh pal?

I've got some questions to ask first though... what'd you say to your buddy AFTER the group? What kinda girl you got, if she saw you n your friend playing "nuh-uh" and "eye tag", why didn't she say anything?

P.S. Did she do the whole, elbows tucked in and arms straight out kinda scream, where her jaw is closed and she's screaming through her teeth? Or did she actually give you a full out roar in your direction?
 

Kaptain

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:yawn:

can we have a uplifting field report next time?
 

dipset_mafia

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Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
Dude, I love drama!

If I saw that girl, I would have walked straight up to her, before I even went to the bathroom. Walk straight up to her, give her a quick staredown, and said your still looking good. She would say hi to me, and I'd nod my head in approval, stare over at my new gf and back at her. Don't even try it, I'm taken.

THAN go to the washroom.

Too bad that option is out of the picture, time for some damage control eh pal?

I've got some questions to ask first though... what'd you say to your buddy AFTER the group? What kinda girl you got, if she saw you n your friend playing "nuh-uh" and "eye tag", why didn't she say anything?

P.S. Did she do the whole, elbows tucked in and arms straight out kinda scream, where her jaw is closed and she's screaming through her teeth? Or did she actually give you a full out roar in your direction?
After the "group" ?? like after he found out that it was my ex?? man, i laughed my ass off infront of him cause he put me through that..

if she saw me and my friend playing eye tag??? man.. i don't know what you're getting at.. but my girl didnt see me see my ex girl.. she wasnt at a vantage point to see that, and i made sure of that...

man, she ROARED! it was FVCKED!! i was walking/running up the stairs so i didnt feel inclined to look back when she started screaming...
 

dipset_mafia

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:woo:
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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