FR - First Night Out After Exams

[Gunner26]

This is a long report. I like writing down all the details. I'm not looking for advice specifically, it's more a way for me to get it down and look at it objectively for my own improvement. Any advice that you boys wish to give though is appreciated.

Here we go.

I finished my university degree a couple days ago and to celebrate some of the boys and I went out.

We started by going to the student bar for the afternoon and having a few casual beers. While we were there two girls off of my course came in (HB7 and HB6). I've previously made out with the 6, but both my friends and I believed that this particular door was closed due to her having a go at me for not being 'nice' enough to her and subsequently going cold on me a couple of months ago. Anyway these two stop for a quick chat before going to sit with their own friends. During the remainder of the time we are at the bar my friend tells me that the HB6 keeps looking over at me, I jokingly say that she can't help herself, and that I'll speak to her later when we get to the club.

Following this we go home to freshen up/have some food before hitting the club. Pre-drinks was fun and we also bought que-jump in advance as we knew the club would be busy, it turned out to be a good choice as the que was huge when we arrived about 11.

We skip the que, enter the club and head straight to the bar to get some drinks in.

There's a good vibe in the place, I make some pleasantries with people that I know and have a brief chat with one of the barmaids (HB7) who remembers me from previous times I've been to the club, it helped me get drinks quicker throughout the night as she then served me whenever she saw me.

By about midnight my friends and I are pretty drunk, and then the fun starts.

I haven't fapped in roughly 3/4 weeks and have been talking to my housemates about how we only have two/three weeks left of uni, and how we need to make the most of it. I started talking to virtually every girl that moved, and to my surprise I was actually pretty smooth.

I was spitting out lines for fun. Challenging girls to be spontaneous, saying I'd regret not making a move on them blah blah. I probably made out with 4 or 5 random girls only one of whom I didn't find attractive (she was a HB4, and I actually regret that one, fortunately it was only a brief makeout) and was rejected but even more.

So I'm in a good mood, having a great time dancing/chatting/making out with girls in the club. The fact that the club was very dark and that I was moving in-between the two dance-floors helped to prevent any girls from seeing me hit on all of them.

After a while I bump into the HB6 from the bar earlier. I say hello and have a chat and a dance. She's showing all the buying signals so I go in for the make-out and get it. I was thinking about going home with her, but abundance mentality (having got with numerous girls already) and the fact that she has been cold and ignoring me for months stopped me. I decided to tease her for a little longer before making my excuses and leaving.

Following that I bumped into a HB9 that I know, she's got a boyfriend and I'm completely friend-zoned, but it's not too bad as she has some good looking friends. Anyway she's dancing with this HB8 that I've seen around and have wanted to talk too. Normally I wouldn't have had the balls to introduce myself, but not this night. I said hello, got her name and had some general chit chat, but she didn't seem that interested and I could feel the conversation stagnating so I ejected. It's a shame as she was hot, but I'm still happy with myself for saying hi.

The night carries on. I've moved on from my phase of hitting on all the girls and I'm just dancing with my friends. After a little longer I call it quits and go to leave and head to the dreaded kebab shop (that stuff is horrible, I don't know why I get it so often).

I'm sitting down eating my kebab and this HB6 is obviously third-wheeling her friend so I go and offer to help her out (I ditch the kebab before going over). I joke with her about how she needs a friend to keep her company whilst her friend eats this random guys face. She laughs and agrees. After 5/10 minutes of chat/eating the four of us start walking home.

On the way the two girls decide they want to go to the beach as it's only a couple minutes walk away. Me and the other guy give each other knowing looks and say it's a great idea.

Once on the beach me and my girl walk towards the water, while the other two sit on the sand and start making out. My girl wants to go in the water, but I'm just not feeling it so hang back a bit while she paddles in water up to her ankles. After a couple minutes I go in to get her, the water is freezing, so I rule out trying anything in there haha.

I get her back onto the sand and spout some rubbish about how beautiful the stars are and how she is just as nice to look at. I go for the make-out but she pulls away. At this point I pull out the spontaneous line again, asking her when the last time she let go and just did something fun. She kisses me and we make-out. I can tell she's getting turned on so try to push for sex on the beach, she tells me no, so I tone down and then try to escalate again. This time she says lets go back to hers. I agree and we walk back up the beach and off to her house.

We get there and then she refuses to let me in her house. To be honest I was a little surprised by this. She didn't give a reason, she just wouldn't let me. I asked to grab a glass of water from her kitchen before I left in an attempt to just get in the house and see if that changed her mind. It didn't. She waited outside the house while I went to the kitchen...

I realised then that it wasn't happening so I left and went home, it was a little disappointing to end the night on a low, but at the end of the day I still had a good night regardless, plus I'll probably never see her again.

If you read all this I hope you enjoyed it haha, and your thoughts on the events?

Gunner

 

[Mr Wright]

I get her back onto the sand and spout some rubbish about how beautiful the stars are and how she is just as nice to look at. I go for the make-out but she pulls away. At this point I pull out the spontaneous line again, asking her when the last time she let go and just did something fun. She kisses me and we make-out. I can tell she's getting turned on so try to push for sex on the beach, she tells me no, so I tone down and then try to escalate again. This time she says lets go back to hers. I agree and we walk back up the beach and off to her house.

We get there and then she refuses to let me in her house. To be honest I was a little surprised by this. She didn't give a reason, she just wouldn't let me. I asked to grab a glass of water from her kitchen before I left in an attempt to just get in the house and see if that changed her mind. It didn't. She waited outside the house while I went to the kitchen...

I realised then that it wasn't happening so I left and went home, it was a little disappointing to end the night on a low, but at the end of the day I still had a good night regardless, plus I'll probably never see her again.

Gunner

What happened between you guys being on the beach and ending back at hers? That seems to be where the problem is.

 

[Masculinity]

It sounds like her Anti-Slut System got activated somehow. I liked the "I need to get some water" excuse to go in. Sometimes, women just have all this stuff going through their heads. It would be speculative to infer anything, especially based on your writing of it.

Just let it go, man. She was a 6 anyway; maybe you saved yourself from a broken condom and a pregnancy. You can do much better. An HB6 is the equivalent of an F on an exam. I would not settle for anything lower than a B-, which is about an HB7.5 in the game. Heck, even a B- would be a disappointment for me. If you aim for the 8's 9's, and 10's, you will get not only a lot more attention from women, but also HBs approaching you out of mere social proof.

Check our this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2102991#post2102991

 

[Gunner26]

Between the beach and her house nothing really much happened. We held hands and chatted, I made her laugh a couple times, it was only a 5/10 minute walk. There was no making out/touching etc, just talking.

My guess is that during this time her interest simply cooled off, I don't really remember the conversation but I can't imagine it having being too spectacular (good or bad).

@ Robyn - Yea the ' I need some water' was something I read on this forum a while back, I can see it working quite well under different circumstances. I do realise she was only a 6, but as I'm still massively inexperienced in the sex department (ie. still holding the V) I'm trying to work my way up. I have no doubt that I can do much better than a 6, but for the sake of experience I'd like to get a little bit more comfortable before jumping in at the deep end.

Obviously I will start aiming for the more attractive girls from now on, I realise I won't get the improvement I'm looking for otherwise; however, getting with the 6's whilst I adapt to the hotter women will help with my confidence.

Cheers for the insight guys.

Gunner

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Once you realize that "attractiveness" is an illusion, you'll be more confident in hitting on the girls society views as "HB10s" because you'll understand their looks are just a diversion. I've made out/hooked up with 10s that ended up having horrible personalities (which bumped them down to an HB4) and I've done the same with HB6s that ended up having other great qualities that bumped them up to an HB8. As a result, I no longer get intimidated by a woman's looks. Reality check: most hot women will eventually get uglier, and they KNOW this. They're more intimidated by their looks (and how they look compared to other women) than you can even imagine; knowing they have this insecurity about themselves makes it easier for me to hit on the women I really want, as opposed to just settling.

At any rate, your story reminds me of that episode of "How I Met Your Mother" where Barney wants to move closer to the bar because his place was so far across town that a "guaranteed" lay could turn into "no legs opening" within the 25 minute taxi ride. What happened was simple: she was in the mood on the beach, and during transit to her place the mood of the moment died, and she was no longer game. A better plan would have been if you said "when's the last time you did something fun?" then kissed her, grabbed her hand and said "come with me," THEN walked back to her place. Trying for sex in such a public place? No bueno. An even smarter strategy, though, would have been to say to her "hey, let's go get some water/drinks at your place and come back," then made your moves once you were both in her apartment. But hey, now ya know for next time!

 

[Mike32ct]

I agree with Harry.

No doubt that Hindsight is always 20/20. But I think I would have done some light making out on the beach and then suggested going to her place (or yours, whichever is closer).

While I respect and admire guys that are very bold, I think suggesting a bhang right there on the beach was a bit too aggressive. Sometimes aiming too high can spoil things. Even if she wanted to, she might have been too self-conscious.

But props anyway. A pull or attempted pull to (or from) the beach is never a bad thing .

 

[Mr Wright]

Between the beach and her house nothing really much happened. We held hands and chatted, I made her laugh a couple times, it was only a 5/10 minute walk. There was no making out/touching etc, just talking.

My guess is that during this time her interest simply cooled off, I don't really remember the conversation but I can't imagine it having being too spectacular (good or bad).

When you're going for a one night stand, I find it's really useful to get to the point where it's on. Read here about what happened to me last night, I knew that it was on, I could just tell from about an hour into being at the club that we were going to end up sleeping together that night because the logistics were solid enough and the feeling was mutual. I didn't even have to talk to her, I see her a few times and shared a mutual sign of attraction, which was hand holding, didn't even have to make it overt like kissing. But the difficult thing is making the attraction and the sex a mutual thing, what I mean by that is that you have to get her to the point where she is expecting it. You don't need to say anything over but you did well because you made a move, Harry said that making a sexual move on the beach wasn't good but I actually think it was good because it was just another point where she may have decided that she was going to go back and sleep with you. Once you're alone with her in a place where you can have sex, go for it, I had sex with a girl in a public place a few weeks ago and it really turned her on, so don't be afraid to push a few boundaries. But I also had sex with a girl on a beach over Easter, I knew that if I was going to take her back to my hotel straight away it may not have been on so I made my move on the beach first, that made it so much easier to then go back and sleep with her properly. The 15 minute walk became annoying because we wanted to continue f*cking rather than an obstacle. It shows intent so from that moment on she knows what you want and if she continues to entertain your advances sex is on. She knew that and that's why she really didn't want to let you inside her house because she knew it was on and given the right(wrong) events, you could end up sleeping together.


I see it like this, you have 3 parts of your brain, your forebrain, midbrain and hindbrain. Her hindbrain, which is the deep animalistic side wanted to f*ck you, her actions showed that. But her forebrain is the logical part which knows how easily the hindbrain gives into desire. The forebrain is like a guard dog, which is protecting the hindbrain because it is so ready to give into desire so it needs to be protected. That's where ideas like anti-slut defenses and last minute resistance come from. So you have to throw that guard dog some poisoned meat or throw it a chew toy but since you can't poison her you have to distract her logical mind. You don't want her to be getting logical about things, so this is the time where you can literally "baffle her with bullshït" get her to talking about stuff that has no bearing. Lets say you started talking about her flatmates, in her mind she'll start thinking about the judgment, the morning after and other awkward moments and you're done, she's talked herself out of it. You did well with the water thing though, I always ask to use the toilet.

I can't tell you how many times I've been getting with a girl and I can pinpoint the exact moment her forebrain kicks in and she just thinks herself out of sex with you. She rationalises things too much and you're done. Whenever I've been in situations like that, I've found it helps to always ask for a little bit more and crack a joke. Remember you're trying to subdue the guard dog, you know she wants you, she wouldn't have been making out with you on the beach and let you walk back to her house if she wasn't at least entertaining the idea of sleeping with you.

Another massive influence is just simply how aroused she is, this is why I always ask for just a little bit more, baby steps. It's her job to say no but it's the difference between the dog waking up and barking or just stirring and remaining asleep. If you ask for a little more, you can keep that dog from waking up. You go in for the water, you get close to her, you kiss her, you pull back. Then you kiss her a little more, start kissing her neck etc I love saying to girls "I'm just going to tease you" when I fully intend on going further than that and it 'just happens' You push too hard, too soon and you're done. The dog wakes up. I bet if you work hard at your game, you could be in that exact position in a year and you'd end up sleeping with her. Remember these moments, they shape you.

So get the sex mutual, the sooner you can get her to think to herself "yeah, I'm going to sleep with this guy" the less LMR you get, she'll ditch her friends early on in the night to go home with you and you don't get any hiccups. That's the first port of call. But if you can't get to that point early, you work to work on keeping the mood light hearted and fun but have her slowly getting more aroused.

While I respect and admire guys that are very bold, I think suggesting a bhang right there on the beach was a bit too aggressive. Sometimes aiming too high can spoil things. Even if she wanted to, she might have been too self-conscious.

But props anyway. A pull or attempted pull to (or from) the beach is never a bad thing .

I've met a lot of girls who appear timid and reserved who end up doing the dirty in the most public of places, beaches, playgrounds(at night), trains, in school, libraries, buses, woodlane trails, in cars on the side of the road...you name it. At first they're a little apprehensive but the rush and risk of getting caught is a massive turn on. As long as you're isolated, I don't think location could ever be a factor when it comes to complaints of being too aggressive.

 

[Gunner26]

@Harry - I understand the illusion of attractiveness, but as of yet I can't quite get past it. Through more frequent interactions with girls I aim to get to a place where it doesn't bother me, but as of yet it still does. There are some girls whose attractiveness doesn't bother me at all, however with random women I still lack that mindset often enough.

It was exactly like that episode, somewhere in transition her interest cooled. I'll try your advice out the next time an opportunity presents itself. Although I do disagree with your belief that I shouldn't have tried to have sex on the beach, it was a 3mile long beach at 3:30am and the only other people near us was her own friend who was busy getting it on, I seriously doubt we'd have been caught.

@Mike - Thanks, I'll also try your advice out further down the line, I've tried the light making out in the club before and then trying to get her to leave, but it has not worked for me thus far. The reason I pushed for the bang on the beach was because it was late, there practically nobody else around and I was horny haha. I agree that I was probably a tad aggressive being but I didn't really care that much, I mean who hasn't thought about having sex on the beach?

@Mr Wright - Good story mate, I too am a fan of social circle game, the only problem is I know all of the girls now and doubt there's much I can do to get with many of them. It's unlikely I'll meet anybody new through social circle game in the few weeks I have left of uni, so it will have to be random approaches for me. I think I get what you're saying though, I believe that I let the situation mellow out enough on the walk back to hers that she started to question herself and what she was doing, and then I did not do enough to dismiss those ideas. As I said it was a little disappointing to end the night empty handed, but on the plus side I'll learn from this and not make the same mistake again. Next time I'll tease and tempt that beast inside until she can't help herself haha.

Gunner

 

[Bingo-Player]

Harrys and mr wrights posts show why they are master DJ’s & need to be stickied thats quailty advice on dealing with last min resistance and ASD and i wish id read it at the begining of the weekend

as i did exactly what i shouldnt have and woke that f*cking dog up by opening my big fat mouth

despite at one point having 3 fingers stuck in her and her t*ts in my mouth .......

Anyway you live and you learn banging chicks is like riding a bike once you get going and take the stabilizers off there’s no f*cking stopping you !

repped

 

[Gunner26]

I agree with you Bingo, their advice is solid, and you're right that we live and we learn, I shan't be making this same mistake again.

Gunner