FR: Dream Date turned Nightmare.Slap me guys

[NoMoreAFC]

well guys this time is not the girls fault, its my fault. Heres how it went:

She came to see me and i introduced her to my friends, she acted very shy around them even when we went to the disco. Then we left together and she took me to her home. thing went pretty fast, it seems she had that planned, she wanted me to **** her hard. But here whats happened in detail:

she showed me her home and after that we went to her bedroom,we started watching tv and then she grabs my hand and lead me to her bed.i started exciting her with my hands and my tongue all over her body and *****, but then i felt something wrong with me and stopped what i was doing, she asked me whats happening? are u hiding me something ? dont u like me?

man that sure was a bad moment, the fact is that i couldnt concentrate in what i was doing, all i had in my mind was a blank image, even the sound of the tv or the window open was ****ing with my concentration and i couldnt get hard.

i told her that happened with my ex too before and it wasnt her fault,she believed in me but nevetheless she invited between her sheets, that helped cuz i felt hard again, she was turning me on but when she was trying for me to come i couldnt and when i tried to laid her i started ok but broke down, i tried several times and the same **** happened again... i was really embarassed and i was clearly a turn off to her: she said to me how come u excite me to this point and then suddenly stop. are u thinking of someone?

i wasnt thinking about anyone, in fact i couldnt think, i was nervous, i hadnt protection (forgot to buy big mistake) despite the fact that she wanted me to laid her without protection...

as i said all my atempts failed, im scared that i can be impotent, but if i am, how can i *** when i masturbate myself? this is strange really and i dont know what to do, i cant think of the girls when im with them. i just cant visualize them, and this one is hot.

iam a virgin, i think that put me kind of nervous too, cuz i wanted to impress her, but that doesnt justify the fact that i cant *** with this one or the others.

as eminem says you just have one shot, and i blew the golden opportunity .at least she was cool and understood what was happening, she says that happens sometimes and she wants to see me again, she phoned me and sent me a text message asking if i was ok and that she enjoyed the time we spent together... she was worried about me.


i need to know what to do, **** im almost 28 and blowing chances like this one isnt going to take my virginity away or get me a girl

im not worthy of being a DJ not even a man, so everyone here slap me for being such an ass and a coward

 

[FOL!!!]

RELAX...that's the key for getting (and keeping) it up... that's my only advise for the physical part, the rest you have to wait for others to comment.

 

[xmethodmanx]

your subconsious was probably just telling you not to **** this ***** w/o a condom... good job, i say.

 

[manuva]

Stop wanking.

If you stop, then next time you see her you'll be so hard you'll be bursting through your trousers.

 

[NoMoreAFC]

are u saying its not a physical problem, is it in my head? ... man if so that sure is a relief. the concentration part is just weird, i can think of anything...

 

[tactic]

doesn't sound like good comments..

Listen NoMoreAFC, don't worry. Firstly, i think you're worrying something where you won't need to worry about. Be relaxed, take things slow. If you messed up once, you won't mess the other if you learned how to do it.

 

[Black_Italian]

Happens to me to every time i am with a girl and there is no form of protection i.e. no condoms or shes not on the pill I CANT GET HARD.

When theres condoms i get hard and stay hard for ages.

 

[BrotherAP]

NoMoreAFC, what you are experiencing is a common problem - and one that I'd advise you to see your doctor about because we have no idea what the f@ck we're talking about.

I do know that it's most likely all in your head, though.

Anyway, swallow your pride and see your doctor

 

[strong like bull]

youre nervous, bro. it happens.

i dated several girls, each for 2+ mos without sleeping with them. all of em tried to get me to fvck them but i was too nervous and backed out. and im talking about them being buck naked in my bed, grinding me, and i backed out. it happens.

the girl that i finally lost my virginity to... even with her, it took weeks before i was comfortable enough with her so i could relax my mind and enjoy our time together.

it was my experience, that it takes a while for you to get comfortable enough with yourself, to enjoy sex with others. im sure a lot of us had rough starts like you; and over time, weve grown and dont really have as many hangups about sex.

youre used to masturbating... stop. its one thing if youre railing hot girls throughout the week, and you occassionally wank on top of it. but its hurting yourself to always masturbate and not have sex. your mind is used to the porn and your hand. gotta cut that out. stop masturbating, completely. after stopping, your interactions with girls will excite and intrigue you in ways youve never felt. without the porn wanking, youll be so much more appreciative and turned on by the girls you spend time with.

trust me.

also, read this thread for more on why you shouldnt masturbate, if you dont already have a great sex life with babes:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56701

-SLB

 

[NoMoreAFC]

man i freaked out when i was inside of her and my penis went soft, every time i tried that **** happened, i became like why the **** cant i *** or get hard all the time... really thought that i was impotent but i searched google and found some info about it that says that when you cant *** or cant get sexually aroused near a girl but you come when u masturbate then the problem is pshycological and not physical. i will try the gunwitch method and start to work out to see how i can improve my sexual life.


thanks for your replies guys i was really down tonight.

 

[christz]

nah see sex is 80% mental and 20% physical, if you have a stray thought thinking of somebody or whatever then you'll lose your hard on. but the same if your nervous and also its the same if you wack it to much, because then your body is so used to you pleasureing yourself that when other people do it, its like wtf is this shyt?

regaurdless i doubt your impodent, this happend to me when i lost my V-card, girl was smokein obviously way more experienced than I was, i lied to her said i've had sex before. (i didn't) so everytime i tried to go at it, i kept going limp needless to say after the third time on a sperate day, i was way more lax and i was able to hit it hard

she said i was one of the better lays she's had but not the best, we dated for awhile aftewards needless to say though that's my story of how i thought i was impodent.

 

[isotope]

question: do you look at a lot of porn/internet porn?

do you masturbate a lot to it?

 

[NoMoreAFC]

yep, but do u think thats the problem?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Try cutting down drastically and see.

But make up a different story to tell the girl why it will be different this time.

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

When you're in bed with her, stop thinking about your d1ck and her pvssy. Just concentrate on kissing her and touching her. Think about your bodies together. Get lots of eye contact. In other words, lots of FOREPLAY. The reason most guys can't get it up is because they have this "GOTTA GET HARD RIGHT NOW AND STICK IT IN OR SHE'LL THINK I'M GAY!!!!" mentality.

 

[Sayajin_Prince]

it seems to me that you were trying too hard to impress her and you became nervous and couldnt get a hard on because of that, the fact that you had no protection also contributed for your extreme tension state.

next time relax, we all had rough first times, no big deal. try to improve next time. oh and stop wanking.

good luck

 

[Carpe_Diem]

when i was with my last g/f of 4 years. it was at the end it started to go bad. The more 'water under the bridge' we had. the less i became attracted to her, and she was extremely demanding and selfish in bed so eventually i didnt even want to have sex with her. It started to go soft and she would get frustrated. After we broke up though, we couldnt get enough of each other.

Since then I have been with a few different girls and its gone soft because i ve been stressing out. But they were awesome about it and as we layed their and laughed at the situation, it got hard again and i was right after that.

The more you think about it, the worse it will be. If it gets hard while you are wacking off, then its all to do with nerves. What you can do is work on oral for her until you get your act together. Even buy a vibrator, that way shes still getting the wang, and she wont have to look to someone else for it.

 

[MacDiddy]

don't wank??
put a condom on??
relax???

Seriously... If you want to get an erection gauranteed then just take viagra (doctors advice required)... This will help you overcome your fears by allowing you to just get the experience over and done with... Painlessly and rapidly. You'll be thinking "That wasn't too bad". Once you get the hang of it, you won't be needing it till you have too much sex..

impotence is purely psychological, unless you have a physical dyfunctional penis. I doubt it considering your age.

 

[isotope]

Originally posted by NoMoreAFC
yep, but do u think thats the problem?

i think it could be

i had the same problem where i 'desensitized' myself to porn

i saw so much hardcore **** that a naked woman didnt excite me anymore because it was no big deal

so i would say completely stop looking at and wanking to porn. your libido will snowball over the course of a few weeks and you will be very horny again

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by NoMoreAFC
well guys this time is not the girls fault, its my fault. Heres how it went:

She came to see me and i introduced her to my friends, she acted very shy around them even when we went to the disco. Then we left together and she took me to her home. thing went pretty fast, it seems she had that planned, she wanted me to **** her hard. But here whats happened in detail:

she showed me her home and after that we went to her bedroom,we started watching tv and then she grabs my hand and lead me to her bed.i started exciting her with my hands and my tongue all over her body and *****, but then i felt something wrong with me and stopped what i was doing, she asked me whats happening? are u hiding me something ? dont u like me?

man that sure was a bad moment, the fact is that i couldnt concentrate in what i was doing, all i had in my mind was a blank image, even the sound of the tv or the window open was ****ing with my concentration and i couldnt get hard.

i told her that happened with my ex too before and it wasnt her fault,she believed in me but nevetheless she invited between her sheets, that helped cuz i felt hard again, she was turning me on but when she was trying for me to come i couldnt and when i tried to laid her i started ok but broke down, i tried several times and the same **** happened again... i was really embarassed and i was clearly a turn off to her: she said to me how come u excite me to this point and then suddenly stop. are u thinking of someone?

i wasnt thinking about anyone, in fact i couldnt think, i was nervous, i hadnt protection (forgot to buy big mistake) despite the fact that she wanted me to laid her without protection...

as i said all my atempts failed, im scared that i can be impotent, but if i am, how can i *** when i masturbate myself? this is strange really and i dont know what to do, i cant think of the girls when im with them. i just cant visualize them, and this one is hot.

iam a virgin, i think that put me kind of nervous too, cuz i wanted to impress her, but that doesnt justify the fact that i cant *** with this one or the others.

as eminem says you just have one shot, and i blew the golden opportunity .at least she was cool and understood what was happening, she says that happens sometimes and she wants to see me again, she phoned me and sent me a text message asking if i was ok and that she enjoyed the time we spent together... she was worried about me.


i need to know what to do, **** im almost 28 and blowing chances like this one isnt going to take my virginity away or get me a girl

im not worthy of being a DJ not even a man, so everyone here slap me for being such an ass and a coward

The worst thing you can think when you're not getting hard is "damn i wish i could get hard. what is she thinking? come on come on get hard." You didn't say how old she is but this should have happened around her before.

Her reaction is immature as **** if she holds it against you. This happened to me once when i first started seeing my gf and she didn't say a damn thing about it. We just went back to fooling around instead of trying to have sex and soon enough my little buddy came around and all hours later we're still goin strong.

Wracking your brain thinking about it does nothing but ensure it's not gonna happen. I have a shy bladder too and can't go with other people in a public restroom too and all the "goddammit just piss" does nothing but make it even harder for my bladder to part the red sea.