"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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FR: Club, solo

Bricka

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Whenever the thought of going to a club alone crossed my mind i'd get jittery. It freaks me out. I decided to just do it tonight.

All the way driving there my mind was running through excuses why I should just turn around, go home and watch a video, but I kept blocking out those thoughts and decided to push through.
I get there around 11 and theres already a long lineup. Standing outside freezing my ass off isn't my idea of fun but i decide to stick it out otherwise I'd hate myself in the morning for pussing out.

I'm standing in line, 2 girls in front of me, a group of girls behind me. This would have been so much better if I could move my mouth but it was so cold. I decide to chat up the 2 chicks in front of me, one of them was saying something to her friend about some guy talking to her about the cold weather and she thinking it was a pickup line, so as soon as i heard that i said "so you think its cold out here". I thought that was C&F at the time, but I dunno. I chat with her for a few minutes but even though she's laughing at most of what I say I still don't feel that she's interested so I stop. By this time the group of girls behind me are gone and replaced by 2 other girls, 1 of which kept brushing up against my ass accidently. I turned my upper body, looked her dead in the eyes and told her without smiling to stop touching my ass. she made a comment about not wanting any part of my body, and all I could think of saying was "i'm hurt" in a joking way. Her friend apologized for rubbing against my ass. that was the end of that, i didn't dare look behind me again !

As soon as I get inside I grab a drink. I'm standing behind a rail looking down on the dance floor. Theres a girl behind me so I told her flat out "lets dance" and she could barely get the sentence out, she was either too drunk or confused or whatever, and basically said "no i'm with them, thanks" .

Scratch that.

I go out on the dance floor after I finish my drink. Dance up to these 2 chicks, put my arm on the back of the one closest to me, start dancing and smile at her, she looks at me and shakes her head and goes back to dancing with her friend. shot down.

I dance solo for a bit, a few minutes pass, and I go up to another 2 girls, put my hands on both their backs, start dancing a bit, they look at me but just smile and go back to dancing with each other. I didn't know whether that was a rejection or not so i decide to eject.

So my morale is getting sapped a bit. I decide to just stand behind one of the rails and just groove a bit alone. Some girl comes up next to me so i decide to open her. I just told her "don't stand up her, go down there and dance", then tells me that shes looking for her friends. I'm clueless here, so i let her go and thats the end of that. She gave the warmest response out of all the chicks i opened in the club though.

I see the chick I was talking to outside and tell her to dance, she declines.

I left shortly after that.

I'm calling the night a success just because I actually accomplished my objective of going to a club solo. The rejections didn't really phase me. I was there for about an hour or so. I feel a bit down though because I thought I'd atleast get 1 dance out of this whole thing. I did though, and I danced with the coolest mf in the whole place! me! :p

I'm going to do this a lot until I get better. No matter how much i get rejected.

To summarize:
5 sets opened; 4 of them were 2 sets and one was a single chick. Looking back this blew my mind since I never thought i'd have the balls to open 2 sets.
5 rejections(1 of which was an eject) (woohoo!)


What do you guys think? How do you not get blown out just by approaching them?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Chaotixxx

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Nice job, you got farther than 90% of the people here just by approaching. I would personally try to get their name and build just A LITTLE rapport before asking to dance. I know its a pain in the ass though with all the music blasting.

I noticed you live in Tampa Bay. Are you ever in the Orlando area? Theres quite a few clubs downtown we could sarge.
 

The Kidd

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good job man, props on having the balls to do that

heres a few pointers though:
- even though you're there alone, other people don't have to know that. social proof yourself. talk to everybody (yes that means guys too) in the club because it'll also get you in a talkative mood

- don't know if you're doing this, but never walk around the club in a daze staring at every chick. people will notice this and know you are alone/and potentially creepy. grab a drink, throw ur shoulders back and lean back. keep the drink to ur side, appear laid back, calm and having a fun time with a smile on ur face

- when you approach you have to do more than say 'hi' or 'lets dance'. first make eye contact with a girl and smile at her, if she smiles back, approach her from the side, never front on. that's why it's good to have a few openers, it makes you seem interesting from the start. so write and practice a few of your own openers, personally i dont like using questions as openers

look as though you're the most popular guy in the club, and walk in as if you own the joint

so if i were you that's what i'd be working on at the moment. you can worry about the kino, dance tactics etc later.
 

Bricka

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The Kidd said:
good job man, props on having the balls to do that

heres a few pointers though:
- even though you're there alone, other people don't have to know that. social proof yourself. talk to everybody (yes that means guys too) in the club because it'll also get you in a talkative mood

- don't know if you're doing this, but never walk around the club in a daze staring at every chick. people will notice this and know you are alone/and potentially creepy. grab a drink, throw ur shoulders back and lean back. keep the drink to ur side, appear laid back, calm and having a fun time with a smile on ur face

- when you approach you have to do more than say 'hi' or 'lets dance'. first make eye contact with a girl and smile at her, if she smiles back, approach her from the side, never front on. that's why it's good to have a few openers, it makes you seem interesting from the start. so write and practice a few of your own openers, personally i dont like using questions as openers

look as though you're the most popular guy in the club, and walk in as if you own the joint

so if i were you that's what i'd be working on at the moment. you can worry about the kino, dance tactics etc later.
Good advice. A few things:
1. How do you talk in a club? It's damn loud.
2. I tried doing the relax and lean back with a drink.
3. About the 'do more than just say hi or lets dance' when you approach, i understand this for girls off the dance floor, but what about on the dance floor?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The Kidd

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- you just really have to project your voice and get them to lean into your ear when you talk or just lean into their ear and talk but don't lean in too much or you'll telegraph too much interest

- don't approach girls on the dance floor, it gives you the highest fail rate. i got friends that can do it, but it's much easier to approach off the dance floor. alot of people say to approach at the bar but i don't like this because girls are busy getting their drinks

if you walk through the dance floor and a girl smiles at you and dance with her, that's cool. but don't be walking up to girls who are dancing, or try to grind up against a girl. girls find those guys to be the creepiest

if i were you, i'd start off approaching girls by themselves. so while you're relaxed and leaning back with ur drink, if there's a girl within your vicinity, just go in and talk to her. try to think up a funny smart-ass comment (a non-offensive one) or use a pre-prepared opener

- if the club is really loud, don't get into extended conversations. just throw some ****y and funny comments here and there, don't ask too many questions. just make interesting statements (tease/make fun of her).
 

SinJester

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Nice work, seems like a lot of your rejections came from the fact that you were nervous, maybe? Keep doing it though and you will get smooth. Don't take it too personally when a girl says 'im looking for my friends', because usually they actually are.
 

drak_ool

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some clubin tips:

-don't bother with "verbal communication". in most clubs i ve been too i can't even hear myself talking, so it s pretty hard to get a girl to listen to you AND understand what you re saying. hence, a lot of the c&f stuff and negs get lost in translation and you might come off as a jerk.

-learn to project a fun, sexual vibe. contrary to what other pple have posted in this thread, i find it easier in clubs to game chicks on the dance floor, since you don't need to talk to them. girls are NEVER gonna be dancing alone, so be prepared to approach 2+ sets. just go up to your target, make your intentions known (dance really close to her, look at her, smile) and then make your move (grab her arm or waist and have her dance with you). If you project the right vibe she will most likely respond positively to you, if not just go for the next set...

props to you for going to a club solo, that does take some balls brother! however, if you want to seriously game girls using the above tips, i suggest you get yourself a couple of wings because it will make it a lot easier to approach the target and her group if your wings take care of her friends
 

Sofomore

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Dude this fvcking thread is a year and a half old. Jesus christ.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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scrouds

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Hey mister 25 post blah blah warrior97, people have to start somewhere. Why you feel the need to dig up an old post just to rip on a guy putting it out there and trying, idk.
 
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