Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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FR: Classmate (Don't S*** where you work)

blackomen

Don Juan
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Meet Sarah (her real name won't be used in this FR.) Sarah had only recently come to the US for grad school from mainland China. She's in two of my classes together since we're both in the same program. I don't remember exactly when we started hanging out but I'm pretty sure it began as a few of her friends started tagging along with me to go shopping and such (I was one of the few students with cars and the bus system in my city isn't real great.) I'd give Sarah a 7 in looks.

Actually, I had considered asking out other girls I knew at the time and Sarah wasn't near the top of my list. However, she always seemed to want to hang out with me, probably to get free rides from me (I suspected.) I didn't like the idea of supplicating at first, but since Sarah didn't have a car, Internet, or even phone service having just moved here from China, I felt a bit obligated to offer a little help.. and she returned the favor by cooking dinner for me at her place.

Over time, I started running into her at the college library at random hours throughout the day. Seems she's quite studious and expressed desire to study together with me. Keep in mind that at this point, she was the one who was always calling and initiating contact with me.. although I didn't often decline. We spent quite some time studying together in the next few weeks (probably a bit TOO much, but hey, we had to work together for a project in class.)

She dropped subtle hints at the possibilities of a relationship at times (or at least that's how I interpreted them.) For example, we ran into her landlord at the apartment and she introduced me to her as her "friend", with a bit of hesitation. Another time when I commented how she's slacking off on her part in the project, she replied in a semicocky way: "so you wanna dump me?" We would also flirt every once in a while though we never had sex or even kissed.

About a month after I met her (roughly a week ago), I find out she's seeing another guy. Although she's known for flirting with several guys, it was pretty obvious she was quite close to him. So I deliberately decided to cut it off with her without warning because it dawned on me she was using me for attention at that point. I basically went AWOL on her without giving her any explanation. Whenever I saw her in class, she seemed a bit depressed.

Now if this were a women I had randomly met that I probably won't ever run into again, I'd go make all the moves and try to game her. But I had been quite reluctant to make any moves on Sarah under the fear of having to deal with the scenario of it not working out AND having to continue seeing her on a regular basis. (Ironically, that became a self-fulfilling prophecy.) Even though she was the one pursuing me initially, I won't deny ever having any feelings for her.

Currently, we both are trying to avoid each other although it'll be quite some feat to make it to the end of the semester with minimal contact.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Ostepop

Don Juan
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Is there any hot girls in your class? Other than her? If so, start looking at them. Get over it.
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
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Not to big off a deal. And the awkardness can be cool and attractive if you let it be.

One time I had an on and off thing with this girl and we ended up in a pretty big fight. She ended up being in two of my classes the following semester and I ignored her completely that first week. Before I knew it, she literally asked me for forgiveness and for another chance.
 
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