Magma
Senior Don Juan
Background:
During grad school, I tuned skis in a ski shop a few days a week. I still go in a couple evenings a week and tune skis for a free seasons pass. Plus I get all my gear at cost. At any rate, one local TV station here runs a weekly segment where a female news anchor attempts to perform someone's job. In this particular instance, the ski shop I work at was chosen as a subject for the segment and this woman was going to learn how to tune skis. I was pegged for the segment by my boss because I am a teacher and extemporaneous speaking comes naturally to me. Besides, who better to teach her than a teacher?
The Target
Not bad. A six. I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. Well, maybe. Nice enough face, but just a TOUCH too wide in the hips. No wedding ring.
The Setup
My buddy and I were joking around about the situation the night before. The subject of innuendo came up. I proclaimed to him that it would be my goal to introduce very subtle innuendo into the segment, without being over the top. This had to stay on the level. Nonetheless...
The Main Event
After getting set up and running down the format, we began filming the segment. I explained the reasons why people should tune their skis, the effects it has, etc. Then we begin the dance...
HB6: How do you know what exactly what a ski needs, repair-wise?
Magma: Well, HB6, the size and depth of the gash is really going to determine how I proceed. A very deep gash is going to require more techniques.
At this point, I am feeling quite confident that I am not going over the top. I am speaking deliberately and confidently, looking right in her eyes. That's the key here guys: strong, confident eye contact mixed with deliberate and unwavering speaking. So she begins to try and repair the ski, and we get to the portion where the edges needed to be sharpened. The shop has a special machine for that, and I began to explain how to operate it.
Magma: You want to gently slide the ski in, and keep it moving at a medium, consistent pace. Not too fast. If you do it right, it should slide right in.
The tone of the voice, manner in which it is delivered, and context of the situation (the "frame" if you will) aides in this subtle innuendo. Keep in mind, before filming even began, the dance had begun. I had about 10 minutes before filming started where the two of us basically fluffed the whole time, but I set the tone immediately by projecting a strong identity through my eye contact.
After the segment was finished, I told her that if she needs a ski lesson that I am up at the hill most weekends. She accepted the offer and gave me her email. Done.
I think there are a couple lessons to be learned here. First and foremost, I went in with the attitude that I was going to have FUN with this. If you're having fun, you're relaxing. If you're relaxed, then you don't worry about canned b.s. because it flows naturally. Second, never forget the power of using to your eyes to convey messages. A strong and confident gaze is an absolute must. Finally, the power of innuendo.
Innuendo, used in the right circumstances, is a powerful tool indeed. I really feel, however, that you can go overboard to the point of just being plain rude, obnoxious, and pathetic. Certainly there is a fine line in its use. I think the key to knowing the degree of innuendo you should use should be based on your calibration of the situation. In this instance, I felt that very subtle innuendo combined with strong eye contact and delivery would be more than enough. Improper calibration could lead to some very negative consequences indeed.
So Brethren, I hope you enjoyed this tale as much as I enjoyed participating in its creation. Have fun out there, and keep those plates spinning...
During grad school, I tuned skis in a ski shop a few days a week. I still go in a couple evenings a week and tune skis for a free seasons pass. Plus I get all my gear at cost. At any rate, one local TV station here runs a weekly segment where a female news anchor attempts to perform someone's job. In this particular instance, the ski shop I work at was chosen as a subject for the segment and this woman was going to learn how to tune skis. I was pegged for the segment by my boss because I am a teacher and extemporaneous speaking comes naturally to me. Besides, who better to teach her than a teacher?
The Target
Not bad. A six. I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. Well, maybe. Nice enough face, but just a TOUCH too wide in the hips. No wedding ring.
The Setup
My buddy and I were joking around about the situation the night before. The subject of innuendo came up. I proclaimed to him that it would be my goal to introduce very subtle innuendo into the segment, without being over the top. This had to stay on the level. Nonetheless...
The Main Event
After getting set up and running down the format, we began filming the segment. I explained the reasons why people should tune their skis, the effects it has, etc. Then we begin the dance...
HB6: How do you know what exactly what a ski needs, repair-wise?
Magma: Well, HB6, the size and depth of the gash is really going to determine how I proceed. A very deep gash is going to require more techniques.
At this point, I am feeling quite confident that I am not going over the top. I am speaking deliberately and confidently, looking right in her eyes. That's the key here guys: strong, confident eye contact mixed with deliberate and unwavering speaking. So she begins to try and repair the ski, and we get to the portion where the edges needed to be sharpened. The shop has a special machine for that, and I began to explain how to operate it.
Magma: You want to gently slide the ski in, and keep it moving at a medium, consistent pace. Not too fast. If you do it right, it should slide right in.
The tone of the voice, manner in which it is delivered, and context of the situation (the "frame" if you will) aides in this subtle innuendo. Keep in mind, before filming even began, the dance had begun. I had about 10 minutes before filming started where the two of us basically fluffed the whole time, but I set the tone immediately by projecting a strong identity through my eye contact.
After the segment was finished, I told her that if she needs a ski lesson that I am up at the hill most weekends. She accepted the offer and gave me her email. Done.
I think there are a couple lessons to be learned here. First and foremost, I went in with the attitude that I was going to have FUN with this. If you're having fun, you're relaxing. If you're relaxed, then you don't worry about canned b.s. because it flows naturally. Second, never forget the power of using to your eyes to convey messages. A strong and confident gaze is an absolute must. Finally, the power of innuendo.
Innuendo, used in the right circumstances, is a powerful tool indeed. I really feel, however, that you can go overboard to the point of just being plain rude, obnoxious, and pathetic. Certainly there is a fine line in its use. I think the key to knowing the degree of innuendo you should use should be based on your calibration of the situation. In this instance, I felt that very subtle innuendo combined with strong eye contact and delivery would be more than enough. Improper calibration could lead to some very negative consequences indeed.
So Brethren, I hope you enjoyed this tale as much as I enjoyed participating in its creation. Have fun out there, and keep those plates spinning...