FR: Being a man saved my relationship

[everywomanshero]

I;ve been talking to a lovely woman since online since May. We started seeing each other in person around halloween. She's married so I never planned for anything to happen, it just sort of happened after I found out she'd seen other men. She is very feminine, pretty much a girly girl which I love yet she's cool enough to have some beers with guys around a campfire.

Anyway, to the point, she was seeing me and all was going great until she started seeing another dude in my building too. After a lil while her attention started turning to him and she was meeting him more than me. I was frustrated by this even though I was seeing other women too.

Now, the turning point was when she came over crying. Instead of letting her suck me into her reality, I deflected all the bad stuff and kept moving towards my goal of getting some *****. I succeded in this end. Now she's totally changed. She's chasing me all over again. furthemore, I told her about my new contract and how I went out and got more money for myself than my employer would give me and showed her my totally phat new apt with a female roomate... now she's sucking up to me guys! This works out perfect, I've taken her through a full range of emotions from crying to orgasming all over my fingers to feeling conected to me again. Had I been a wuss and let her suck me into her reality, I'd be toast right now.

 

[Kaptain]

I love a happy ending.

Gimme Five man.

Hell, gimme Ten!

 

[Nighthawk]

Last night I allowed a girl (actually a hot 40 year old with a daughter) to impose her reality on me and because I wasn't after her I let it happen and listened to all her man-problems.

Immediately I felt a category shift and I was one of her gfs, or worse, a Nice Guy who would listen to how beastly her ex is.

Now if if I'd closed the subject down or teased her about how she loves the drama, applied more kino, etc, she'd have been easy pickings (plus I think she wanted to get ****ed anyway) but her ass is a bit too fat and the bit about the psycho-ex put me off and I'm kinda seeing someone else so I didn't escalate things. But it was funny how once I allowed myself to play the role of kind listener the sexual atmosphere (earlier we'd been talking about penis size with another couple of girls) disappeared.

On some primal level, when you cease being a sexual threat to a woman by displaying your nurturing and compassionate side, you go from 'do me now you wicked stud' to 'good provider, maybe settle down with when burnt out by the bad boy-type.'

As George Costanza said 'What kind of a sick world are we living in where nice is bad?'

As everywomanshero's story illustrates, unless you quickly remind them who's reality they are a guest in, and what their role in it is, they may be grateful for your understanding, but they won't repay that gratitude with *****.