FR: Approached another girl on the bus.

[ElStud]

Alright, so today I approached this girl on the bus named Kelsey. Here's a summary if how it went(Because to be honest, I can't remember how exactly every line went):

Me: Hey, I have this real funny story I have to tell you, so I'm in chemistry class right and this girl named Meghan screams, and I tell you from the way she screamed you would've thought somebody had died or something. And the funniest thing is, is that she was screaming because somebody got water on her!
Girl: Yeah, it's really weird.
Me: So what classes do you have?
Girl: I have English, Science and Math.
Me: Well I do band, I play the Saxophone.
Girl: Cool.
Me: Yeah, I also play guitar. When I get older I'm going to be a rockstar and maybe I'll give you an autograph or something.
Girl: Yeah.
Me: So what are you going to do when you get home?
Girl: When I get home I'm probably going to watch TV.
Me: Cool. Have you ever heard of the Fresh Prince of Belair?
Girl: Yeah, I like that show.
Me: Yeah, that show is so hilarious. Have you ever seen that little dance that Carlton does, it's hilarious.
Girl: Yeah.
Me: I also saw this really funny episode last night...

And I basically talk about the episode. Few minutes later...

Me: Have you ever seen that episode?
Girl: No.
Me: So what other TV shows do you watch?
Girl: I don't know, The Food Channel.
Me: Ah, so you're a chef?
Girl: No.
Me: So that means if we were going to get married one day and I wanted you to cook for me, you wouldn't be able to do it?
Girl: No.
Me: [I put my hand on her shoulders] I don't know, you got to know how to cook.
Girl: Yeah.
Me: So I'll see you later...
Me: Your name is Kelsey right?
Girl: Yeah.

Twas a pretty good approach, took a lot of risks here trying out stuff I hadn't really tried out before. Don't know if she was really interested since she didn't return any questions, but she was smiling throughout the thing. Also notice that I didn't open with "Hey, how's it going?" but just went straight into the story.

 

[GaryUranga]

at least youre getting the skill because that girl doesnt sound too exited

also, get a better story or try sounding exited when telling it (though I dont know how you delivered it)

 

[ElStud]

at least youre getting the skill because that girl doesnt sound too exited

also, get a better story or try sounding exited when telling it (though I dont know how you delivered it)

Well as far as stories go, I just tell stories about my experiences. And I actually did do it in a sort of excited tone.

 

[greenlake]

well, i don't know if this really happen. but her giving u one word answer is a bad thing. it's not because she doesn't like you cause if she doesnt' she would have told u to go somewhere or just ignore u completely.

next time, don't put too much efforts in the convo. make her put more effort in it. it should be a state of balance. from what i see, it seem like u're talking to ur self. how u do that? by asking big open ended question. u say she was listening to music, righT? ask her what song do u recommend? "oh really? tell me more about the artist."

then u used that opportunity to go more personel by telling her "i like the way u describe it. tell me about urself." it wouldn't feel arkward after that because she knows u're interested in her now and that's why u asking her instead of her asking herself "why is this wierdo keep asking me questions?". plus the benefits of going personal is that u can talk about anything with her as long as it's about "you" and "her". should not be about the girl in ur chemistry class or "Wil Smith". but you can tell her how u felt when that accident with the girl in ur chemistry class or how fresh prince always crack u up and then ask her what she do for fun or something that keep her in a good mood.

 

[Rata Blanca]

You talk too much.
She should do the talking.

 

[ElStud]

Yeah, but shouldn't the dude be talking 90% of the time? And thanks for the advice guys.

 

[PeeGee]

It really is dependent. I think a good % is about 33-40% of the time (ie asking open-ended questions, having her talk, and you manipulate the perception of what happens into something positive, sexual, etc.

ps: I am having this horrible time remember what the term is when you maintain control of the way she thinks about what you or she is talking about. ugh.

 

[Rata Blanca]

Yeah, but shouldn't the dude be talking 90% of the time? And thanks for the advice guys.

No. Guys approach. You are the guy with the balls to approach her, not another girlfriend with who she can gossip.
If you can ask for her name and introduce yourself, you are different from the 95% of the guys out there.

As the man your job is to break the ice by approaching and finally telling her to write down her number. You shouldn't talk much about yourself during the approach, unless you can stay a while with her. Ask her about the things she is carrying, focus on the fun! Here's an approach I did yesterday the girl was carrying a backpack:

Rata: what's up with your little bear(keychain), does it opens or something?
Girl: oh yea (opens little bear, owners data pops up)
Rata: why don't you write your name on it?
Girl: uh..I don't know
Rata: do you got a pen?
Girl: (takes out pen) Seems I can't write on it
Rata: got a piece of paper?
Girl: no
Rata Blanca: give me your hand
Girl: (laughing) No! (slowly gives me her hand)
Rata: (plays tic-tac-toe on her hand)
Girl: (giggles)

 

[ElStud]

it's great that you're in the field and actually applying the tips that people gave you.

however you definitely bombed that one. it just wasn't natural at all and she reacted horribly. here's a quick breakdown

positives:
-you grabbed your balls and did it
-you actually listened to our advice
-you tried to apply DJ techniques

negatives:
-your story wasn't funny or interesting, in fact it was quite lame
-you asked her "what classes are you taking?". this is terrible and will inevitably lead to boring conversation
-you were talking about 90 percent of the time and she was just giving one word answers. you have to ask more interesting questions, and say more interesting things
-don't know what your tonality/body language was, but if it was good i'm sure she would have reacted better
-your convo just didn't follow... everything was completely random and unrelated. it looked like you were desperately trying to find topics to talk about. your convo has to flow naturally. first you talked about some random girl in your science class, then tried to talk about being a rock star, then u suddnely ask about fresh prince. doesn't follow. you shifted between topics abruptly, you need to be smooth

I actually thought my story was pretty funny. It conveys personality and that's all that matters.

And yeah, my body language and tonality were good, so that had nothing to do with it.

And you're right it was random, but that's because the girl didn't actually contribute anything.

I'm probably going to approach this girl again tomorrow using some of this advice. I'm also going to work on kinoing earlier and kinoing more overall.

 

[Lust]

You need to talk about something that you know women definitely like to share about.

Eg. Fashion, music, relationships etc...

Talking about Fresh Prince for 3 minutes is horrible.

She would have been bored, and you need to remember to ask less questions and make more statements.

So, instead of saying "Do you like potatoes?", you would say "I like potatoes".

I think you are missing a lot of bits and pieces, I am quite sure that you haven't read a pick up book, and you don't quite understand how the whole thing should go down.

If you want some, PM me.

 

[ElStud]

You need to talk about something that you know women definitely like to share about.

Eg. Fashion, music, relationships etc...

Talking about Fresh Prince for 3 minutes is horrible.

She would have been bored, and you need to remember to ask less questions and make more statements.

So, instead of saying "Do you like potatoes?", you would say "I like potatoes".

I think you are missing a lot of bits and pieces, I am quite sure that you haven't read a pick up book, and you don't quite understand how the whole thing should go down.

If you want some, PM me.

That's easy but I'm not about to talk about all that chicky fashion and relationship stuff, she has GIRL friends for that and I do not care to talk about that stuff. Point is, until she's interested or starts showing attraction, I shouldn't even be trying for rapport. Once she's interested I could talk about anything. I could talk about music, TV, school, stuff that I KNOW, I don't have to talk about all that chick stuff that I don't care for, after all, what am I trying to do, become her best friend? No and even if I wanted to become her friend I wouldn't talk about that stuff because it's girly and I don't care for it. This girl was not interested.

 

[WesCottII]

Only because you didn't make her so.

Ever wanted to talk to an old person on the bus? No? Why? Because they talk about stuff you don't care about.

Your story wasn't funny, wether you thought it was or not, and it's very difficult to open with them.

 

[ElStud]

Only because you didn't make her so.

Ever wanted to talk to an old person on the bus? No? Why? Because they talk about stuff you don't care about.

Your story wasn't funny, wether you thought it was or not, and it's very difficult to open with them.

It's the way I conveyed the story that was wrong. You can have a story that sucks and if you convey it correctly it'll make the girl interested subconsciously. Words aren't really what matter. So the error really was in the way I conveyed the story. Might not have been the most interesting story yeah, but if I conveyed it correctly, the words don't really matter. And I actually did think the story was sort of funny, people were laughing when it happened.

 

[WesCottII]

I get what you're saying, but your storytelling isn't upto par to convey that yet. So have a bank of stories, I got my last g/f interested with my cat story.

"My dad weighed my cat before he went on holiday, to make sure I fed it. I thought he was joking.....then I walk in the kitchen and it's like something from the excorsist....cat hissing with it's claws out...thrasing about.....my dad covered in cuts trying to force it into a set of old fashioned kitchen scales...."

Use comics, I often steal from Dane Cook, have the girls in hysterics....