FR : Approach disaster

[shouldbefun]

Someone put me out of this misery.

I saw five chicas and I couldnt approach because I felt creepy and awkward if I did.
I barely approach this week. It was bad in terms of approach.
Then this chica eye****s me whilst im studying right now, Im like nah should I go up to her and shes one table away from me. So I take a short break and come back. I see her packing and we walk past each other, I say hey, she says hey back.
Im like okay, not bad but weak to myself.
She walks away, 5 seconds of considering to go after her or not, I run after her, say I had tos say hi. Shes like what do you mean, and after that I’m on autopilot. I say Idk, and yeah I introduce myself, get her name as well. She starts walking, says she has to go. I blurt out a stupid beta compliment (you look pretty) I swear guys I never say that in all of my earlier approaches, it was mainly either attractive/cute or I try to have a game face on. I tease/flirt etc. This time, I had none. Shes like I have a bf. Wanted to say something but my voice turned mushy and I was like no nothing, all good. Somehow I got afraid of saying lets go for coffee. I felt it was futile, so I didnt say it. Basically I failed miserably. What should I have done ? Its as if I lost all the rules.
-should have told her to stop moving.
-why did she eye**** me if she had a bf? Or maybe it was a facade/****test?
-I find it super hard to approach, and there are moments where I keep thinking what is the point if I keep getting rejected everytime.

Whats also hard is that I prefer uni girls as I am a uni guy so I don’t feel comfortable going to bars/daygame out on the streets as there is nothing mutual between us, atleast with uni girls, we have the same uni.

I feel super unsure where I am in all of this.
Idk, what would you guys do?

I think I should have approached her at the start but I didnt want it to be awkward, was personally not ready.
Seems like approaching is some masochistic torture.

Or should I keep on going? Keep on asking if they want to hangout etc ? I just can’t approach directly without stumbling...

 

[Skyline]

Keep approaching to get over that initial anxiety. Try more casual encounters, like a waitress, store clerk, or any position where they have to talk to you.

If you go to uni, the library would be my go to spot. Lot of pretty girls go there to study and it’s perfect for you to ask one of them for help.

 

[GrowingPains]

My boot camp brethren. Breathe.

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/on-rejection.257902/

You are just getting started. Starve now, feast later.

"Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going. You already in pain, you already hurt. Get a reward from it." - Eric Thomas. A bit extreme here, but you get the point.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Step one: Change your mindset. Success is not in the outcome, but in the simple act of taking action. You must first congratulate yourself on this instead of criticizing yourself over an outcome that you don't have total control over.

 

[Dr.Suave]

IGAF attitude while cold approaching so u don´t come off as a creep.

 

[characternote]

Don't beat yourself up. You approached. She wasn't into it. It's honestly unlikely that even if you had the collective forum in your ear giving you lines to say through an earpiece that you'd have got her since she started walking away straight after you introduced yourself.

It's good that you approached after getting what you thought was an IOI, though. Thing is, they can't really be relied upon. Sometimes it's not an IOI!

I've had what I thought were huge green lights before (either heavy eye contact or even a girl basically rubbing her ass on me on the dancefloor) that both lead to instant harsh rejections before I even had a chance to do/say anything 'wrong'. I actually went through a stage of thinking that approaching after IOI's seemed to 'presumptuous'/****sure/obvious and forced the girl to react negatively lol

Keep approaching and writing FR's. It's just a numbers game.

 

[shouldbefun]

Don't beat yourself up. You approached. She wasn't into it. It's honestly unlikely that even if you had the collective forum in your ear giving you lines to say through an earpiece that you'd have got her since she started walking away straight after you introduced yourself.

It's good that you approached after getting what you thought was an IOI, though. Thing is, they can't really be relied upon. Sometimes it's not an IOI!

I've had what I thought were huge green lights before (either heavy eye contact or even a girl basically rubbing her ass on me on the dancefloor) that both lead to instant harsh rejections before I even had a chance to do/say anything 'wrong'. I actually went through a stage of thinking that approaching after IOI's seemed to 'presumptuous'/****sure/obvious and forced the girl to react negatively lol

Keep approaching and writing FR's. It's just a numbers game.

Weird thing, she looked at me and I looked at her whilst studying in those 15 minutes, then we stared kinda into each other. I should have approached right then but stood like a stone thinking I'll look like a fool saying something. So after that stare, she didn't look at me. I tried brushing it off but then saw her leaving, and said **** it, Im approaching. Its really hard to find the strength to approach to be honest from now on. I need to stop thinking about this, but at this point its getting hard to force myself to approach. I either see them as why bother, I'll get rejected or **** this girl is a beauty, I just can't do it because I'll turn into jelly. What hurts is those girls could be Gf's and girls I could be friends with/have fun but here I am struggling...It just hurts that you can't be the best version of yourself right now.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

But you CAN be the best version of yourself. You just need to be willing to go through a little bit of pain to realize a lot of pleasure. Most women you start conversation with will at the very least be polite, if not excited to talk to you. A few will be extremely disinterested and brush you off, and maybe 1 out of 100 will actually be mean. In your mind, you probably paint the worst possible case scenario that on every approach, you'll go up to talk to a girl and she will immediately laugh in your face and start making fun of your worst insecurities. But as an adult, that just isn't what happens! Even that 1:100 girl who is mean might just tell you to f*ck off. Big deal. The more you practice, the easier it gets. If you are super nervous about it, try approaching overweight and unattractive women who you think would be thrilled to talk to you. That will get you more comfortable making conversation with strangers, and help associate a positive outcome of approaching strangers (that being an actual polite conversation and proof that you can do it). Then slowly start talking to more and more attractive women until you are talking to the ones you think are hot.