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FR: Another night clubbing

So Many Ways

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Last night, I went out to the club with my boys.

We go up to the line and there are hot chicks all over the place. There was a little bit of a line. A couple of girls got in line behind us. They were kinda average looking, two black girls, one was american and one african, but I started talking to them anyway, busting jokes, making them laugh and ****. There were more girls behind them, so I just kept it going, one of my buddies joined the conversation, so we just kept it going, busting jokes and sh!t.

Eventually we finally get up in there and I order a round of hennesey shots for my people that rolled with me. We downed the shot then washed it down with a vodka tonic, then walked to the other side of the club past the dance floor.

My boys went to the restroom so I went to the bar adjacent to it and ordered another vodka tonic. My boys returned and then I spot this cutie standing with her back up against the wall. I open her with “are you hiding….” And then started joking with her a little bit. She said she was waiting for someone. I ejected to go back to where my boys were. In hindsight, I should have continued talking to her.

We’re back at the bar and I see three cute Mexican girls standing right next to me. One looks up at me, then down at my feet and up at me again, so I say what’s up to her and kicked the convo. My main wing joined in and kind of just took over. Again, like before, I wasn’t persistent enough and we ended up loosing them. My wing did take several pictures of them though.

After that I grabbed one of my other buddies, who’s a little bashful and I told him “we’re going to get some girls right now”. As we walk away from the bar towards the dance floor area, the African girl that I was talking to in line grabs me and asks me to dance. I tell her “okay, for one song” and It told my buddy I’ll be right back. I’m on the dance floor not giving a ****, just bull****tin and acting a fool. After 2 songs, I leave the dance floor on the other side, and I see her other friend standing there and we all chat for a minute. We all end up on the dance floor and the African girl ejects and I’m there with her friend, who I was also talking to in line earlier. We dance for a song and the African girl returns with my bashful friend with her. I high five my buddy and give him props and we dance for a little while and leave for the bar.

We go back to the bar and I hook homegirl up with a Cadillac and I get another vodka tonic for myself. We chop it up for a bit. She asked me “what do I do” and I told her “I’m a computer nerd” and we talk some more. I think I complimented her a couple of times and I eventually # closed her. I put her phone number in my cell phone and dial her phone number on the spot, and her cell phone lit up with my phone number. We left shortly afterwards as it was last call.

Here is a breakdown of what happened and what I got out of it.

It’s good to party with cool friends. It’s gets you in that “I’m having fun” vibe, which makes other people want to join in. I think women are drawn to that to a certain degree.

Talk to the women in line, you may run into them later. Talk to them, regardless of how they look. They may hook you up with friends, and when you bump into them inside, there are girls that you will already “know” to a certain extent. That’s a win win situation.

I need to stop ejecting too quick when I open girls. I have a bad habit of that and it’s a sticking point that I need to work on. If a chick gives me a buy signal, I have to keep pushing though until I get a close, or rejected, one way or the other.

I need to go out more often. The last time I hit the club was the week before new years, when I went to Vegas. That was 3 weeks ago. If I went out more, I don’t think I would miss as many opportunities.

Pick cool spots, where women are going to buy what you have to sell and you don’t have to worry about fools ****in’ with you.

I used to have a huge limiting belief about gaming women of my own race, black females, but that limiting belief is demolished. I can’t believe I ever thought that way. I blew tons of opportunities in the past because of it.
 

MrCode

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I'm glad you got over your limiting belief, but I'm curious where that belief came from. Why would be afraid of gaming chics of your own race? I would think as a black man you might have a tough time with other races (you know with all the stereotypes and racism.)
 

So Many Ways

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I grew up in a white neighborhood so I don't really act like the typical black guy, plus I had a couple of fu#ked up experiences when I was a teenager that pretty much destroyed all my confidence around black females for several years.
 

quest

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i'm wondering what your experiences with saying "computer nerd" as what you do, are..

in the past when asked what i do i said "study computer engineering" and they'd be like "oh whats that like?" "boring.." kills the conversation, makes me sound unhappy about it. (i don't really enjoy it..) but now when asked "oh whats that like?" "its really interesting, especially the engineering and design parts of the course." and i find that the response is SOOOO much better.
 

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So Many Ways

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Originally posted by quest
i'm wondering what your experiences with saying "computer nerd" as what you do, are..

in the past when asked what i do i said "study computer engineering" and they'd be like "oh whats that like?" "boring.." kills the conversation, makes me sound unhappy about it. (i don't really enjoy it..) but now when asked "oh whats that like?" "its really interesting, especially the engineering and design parts of the course." and i find that the response is SOOOO much better.
It works for me, it gets a laugh out of them. If I say something like "I'm a system administrator for a large datacenter that also does web design and programming on the side" they get a puzzled look on their face, then I have to explain it. When I say "computer nerd", I just say it in a sarcastic manner and they get a laugh out of it. I've used it twice and # closed both times. I think I'll make it part of my repertoire permanently.

Yeah, you're right about the enthusiasm part. If you sound enthusiastic about what you do, its like they're kind of drawn into that and they feed off of it. You touhed on something big there as I think back on previous interactions with women when the "what do you do" question comes up.
 

PYROTAK

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lol at the henny shots!

you sip henny, not shot it :D
johnny walker style
 

quest

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Originally posted by So Many Ways
It works for me, it gets a laugh out of them. If I say something like "I'm a system administrator for a large datacenter that also does web design and programming on the side" they get a puzzled look on their face, then I have to explain it. When I say "computer nerd", I just say it in a sarcastic manner and they get a laugh out of it. I've used it twice and # closed both times. I think I'll make it part of my repertoire permanently.

Yeah, you're right about the enthusiasm part. If you sound enthusiastic about what you do, its like they're kind of drawn into that and they feed off of it. You touhed on something big there as I think back on previous interactions with women when the "what do you do" question comes up.

its hard isn't it?
i'm sure that atleast 50% of the people here work with computers or are aspiring to. (but alot of people here really aren't worth listening to..) but computers have a stigma about them as "dungeons and dragons" "star trek" etc.. the mould is clearly breaking.. but no time soon will it be like "you work with computers, thats really exciting!"
i'd love to here what others have to say about this...
i've definently found enthusiasm works the best for me (haven't tried sarcasm)..
 

Duke

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Hey...

For the "What do you do?"

"I'm the guy in the bowling alley who goes and gets the balls when they get stuck."

HB: Haha, no really, what do you do?

'Would you judge me if that were my job? Are you after my money? *playful suspicious look* I like rich girls, are you rich? Can you cook? Nope? Oh well then, we can never be together. Oh wait, you give GREAT massages? Hmmm, maybe that's better than money and food."


Yatta yatta, you get the idea. She's not asking you "What do you do?" because she REALLY WANTS TO KNOW. She's asking it because you've attracted her enough to where she wants to get to know you. You can convey who you are in FAR MORE interesting ways than regurgitating what your job is to her.

The above example I used is push/pull qualifying. You're reversing the frame.

See, when she says "What do you do?" she is QUALIFYING YOU. Don't get sucked into her frame. Qualify HER instead.

This'll convey that you have high standards and that not just any woman can get into your pants, and also that you won't let her walk all over you, and you won't supplicate! Just SO MANY good things.

So either use a CF answer and reverse the frame and make her look like golddigger (playfully) or come up with a good IDENTITY GROUNDING story that you're proud of.

www.bristollair.com

It's called "Mystery's Identity Grounding"
 

MrCode

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I'm also a "computer nerd" and I still feel it tends to make the girl think you are a geek (but maybe that is a limiting belief of my own...hmmmm.)

But anyhow, I think Duke's ideas of doing some C&F and reversing the frame are good, and can make things more fun. Plus it keeps you looking mysterious. Also when she really finds out what you do (and therefore figures out you make some money) she will be further impressed that you didn't try to brag.

I actually made a pretty long list of funny C&F professions to use in this situation, and I must say some are pretty damn funny.
 
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