FR: Adventureland

[amazingswayze]

I had a major epiphany. It will come full circle at the end of this post.

So, my school bought out a local theme park for the college students only. It was free for me because I was one of the first 250 people to show up. I also got a free meal ticket. All it cost me was a little bit of gas money.

I bring HB6 Kayla. Things are boring at first. Some kino going on, but I'm not having fun with her. I keep the hand-holding to a minimum partly because I don't want her to get the wrong idea. I'm not interested in a relationship. The rides are played out. I've been going to Adventureland since I was a kid and it just isn't the same. It got boring but I can't complain, it was free.

We eat with our meal tickets. I got chicken nuggets, she got a burger.
Once we went on the ferris wheel, we kissed for the first time in a few weeks. She says, "It's been a while." As far as I know, she hasn't gotten much male attention lately. I haven't kissed anyone in a few weeks so I got the ball rolling again. I remember what it feels like. Not a big deal.

I went in to this with the frame that if things don't get sexual, I won't fuk with her anymore. She's a virgin, and she gave me a handjob once. She doesn't like penises. She thinks they are ugly. She doesn't wanna be fingered and she definitely doesn't wanna give head. This is why I've been so bored with her. I was willing to walk away.

Well, after we left the park, we get to my car. We start making out for maybe 10-15 minutes. Then I escalate. I put her hand on my c0ck and she starts rubbing it over my pants, and pulls away. She does this twice. I didn't beg for it but it took a while for her to actually give me a handjob. What followed was interesting. I whipped it out while we were kissing and as she stroked me I got more and more into it. Without warning, I bust. She was kind've pissed about that. She needed hand sanitizer ASAP. She said her hands were soiled. She needs to get used to c0ck. It's kind've annoying.

This was the first time a girl ever made me ***. I instantly cared less about everything. I've been on NoFap for a few days and this was the first time a girl actually helped me out with it. It was cool. Thing I realized is, once you bust that nut, nothing matters. I felt this feeling from masturbation but it's not the same when a girl is involved. It's almost like her value goes down right away. I just stopped caring and drove her home. I wasn't being a dik about it or anything but my genuine indifference kicked in. When I dropped her at her house, I gave her a kiss goodnight. I felt no passion. I almost didn't even want to. She could probably sense it.

So, I learned a few things...

I can understand why girls don't want to give up their virginity so easily, or just fuk anybody for that matter. A guy just doesn't care about her once he gets what he wants. I understand why the feeling of love is so powerful. It can justify almost anything. If I felt genuine feelings for her, the whole situation would be different. She would want to go farther.

I busted the nut of truth tonight.

I'm still a virgin but I don't even care at the moment. Before this, I got head from one girl and didn't bust, and got a handjob from this girl and she gave up.
This time I finally busted a nut, and I just don't care anymore.

Tyler RSD talked about something once called the indifference threshold and it makes perfect sense. Once you experience something for the first time, you're used to it. You forget what the big deal was. This will probably happen when I have sex. Probably not with this girl though. I'm not treating her right. And, if I take her virginity, there will be complications. I can't allow myself to love a fat girl. I wasn't to proud to be seen in public today. It's sad, but true.

I'll probably bang a slvt when the opportunity comes. Every experience I have makes me care less. I used to be scared to go in for the kiss, to touch her body, and to whip my c0ck out. It doesn't even matter to me anymore. :crackup:

I can't really even think straight right now. My attitude is one of genuine indifference.

I busted the nut of truth. :rockon:

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Just going to lay it on the table. I doubt she's inexperienced as she seemed to you. If she were really that straight laced, she wouldn't have did what she did. It also would have been a something of a shock to her. My point is she's probably had several experiences like this.

Don't fool yourself into thinking you found this all perfect girl. She might be nice, I don't know. But from what you say she sounds like your typical closeted wild chick. Usually they pretend to be all innocent when they're anything but.

 

[amazingswayze]

9.19.15

follow up of last night. very tired but here it goes.

i was invited to a barbecue on campus tonight hosted by the african heritage diversity club. i went and HB6 kayla was thinking about it so i offered her a ride home.

we went and at first i was feeling crappy. i don't hold her hand, i kind've keep my distance... i don't want to give off the vibe that she's my girlfriend but i'll still hook up with her when nobody's watching.

the bbq was lit! met so many new people and enjoyed free food. i might join the club.

this is where stuff gets wack... we hook up again in the parking lot on the way home and she give me a hj right? it took me a while to finish and when i did...

i came in my eye.
i came all over my shirt.
it was so much jizz sorry guys for being explicit.

it was terrible.

i wear contacts and my left eye was blood shot red. so uncomfortable.
i had to stop at a gas station to wash up after.

it was cool because she was being a little more sluttier, she said she likes when i spank her ass. besides the fact that i don't want a relationship, she is a decent plate.

thing is, handjobs suck. i don't want to come all over the place. i do a better job of keeping clean when i masturbate. i only want head man, and she doesn't wanna give it. struggles.

well, i dont give a **** and it's cool with me now. glad that i'm finally ok with my sexuality.

very tired.