Four-Somes: Please advise

[Disconnect]

I am at loss of what to do. See, me and my girl have been together for almost 9 months now, and the idea of a 4-some with another couple have crossed our minds, but we never really considered it until now.

A couple of our friends hooked up a while ago, and while they are not yet sexually active, the chick is considering a 4-some. My girl is not quite sure, but said 'with some convincing, she'd do it'. The other guy is a total no, but I think that may change. Me? That's the problem.

While I think I can screw another chick while watching another guy do mine, I am really not sure how I'll take it. For me, 9 months is a long time, and I don't really wanna risk what we have. And I have a feeling that neither does she. It's just what she said is rubbing me the wrong way.

I am my girl's first everything, pretty much, and we have been sexually active since the new year's day, but I am wondering if she's getting bored with it. I make it a point of trying different things - locations, positions, pace (got head in a movie theatre: is that a cliche?), taking turns, anything I could think of. Or maybe she's just adventurous.

While she may be adventurous, she's also stupid, and doesn't know what she really wants. It also seems like she has a very dim idea of what it would mean to her watching me do another girl - she's very attached to me, and me even thinking about another girl hurts her (I told her to live with it, and she was understanding, but still hurt). So a foursome seems very extreme.

Another problem is that I'm volatile - my temper sometimes is hard to control. I could get angry easily, especially over a guy trying to pick up my girl. Possessive? No, I do not restrain her socially. But I would not tolerate any kind of cheating. So the foursome may affect me more negatively than I'd like to think.

So what I decided is to wait. I don't think we're at the point where we trust each other enough to watch us 'cheat' on each other (by our agreement - sex with another person=cheating, as is kissing). But 'waiting' seems like 'giving up control', instead of taking action - not manly. I don't want to be a pansy and let her do the deciding, since I know she sucks at making decisions. So using the above info, I decided to say no to a 4some.

What do you guys think?

 

[ImmortalDragon]

Get the other guy out of the picture and have fun.

 

[assassin]

good decision!

what you described would have torn you guys apart. weigh the pro's and con's. you probably just saved your relationship.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

I am not attracted to the idea of more than one woman at a time beyoned the simple "masculine" factor it carries with it. I feel it is a mans duty to please his girl, and his girls duty to please him. Being sexual for a month is NOTHING - you still have a TON of exploring to do before you get bored. Make sure you have enough foreplay, and time to really ENJOY sex. If you are rushing it AT ALL - its going to suck.

In the bible find "sir chancealots advanced sexual techniques" that will guide you in the right direction. Understand that you and your girl arent ready for most of that, even... you guys should just be trying to really enjoy eachother.

Id be willing to wajor that the girl who wants the 4 some just wants another man, or another woman around for experimentation. Hopefully, she wants another woman around - in wich case you can just have a 3 some.

If your girl is curious, and this girl wants another man around... then the two couples just having sex in the same room, near eachother could be the extra simulant the girls are chasing - maybe they dont WANT another partner?

If I were you, I would take another month to really enjoy JUST my girlfriend - then sit down and TALK with her about what she wants after Ive decided what I want, and talked to the other couple about what they want. Your GF should be the last one in the loop, that keeps you in the clear, and leaves you with control.

 

[LikRetsam]

My girlfriend suggesting a 4some... how would I react..?

I'd think that this girl would be very hard to please. And in fact, I wouldn't even think about it. No.