"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Found out that too much ****y and funny is bad?.. at least from what happened to me..

verysuave

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ok,

to make long story short. at work theres me, this other dude, and then this chick that we both like. I ended up the winner (she returns my calls, initiate calls, texts, all past 11pm night time. She was the one who gave me her number. The dude that lost, never gets calls from her)

Well, today, we went out to lunch. We chatted, goofed. Played footsy under the table. As usual, i'd bust out my c + f on her.

---couple lines of convo earlier during lunch at carl's jr:---

Me: so, did you do your homework on me? what did you learn?
chick: -laughs-
me: cause I will be testing you a little later etc etc.

about 15 minutes later.. i thought i'd bust another C+F
me: I heard you built an altar of me with candles around it. -grins-
*I recited the "our father" prayer to her but replaced the "father" with my name.

so, it recited it like this to her as if she was the one praying:
"Our verysuave, hollow be thy name,thy kingdom come, thy will rock my world on my world as it is in yours, etc etc"...

chick: -laughs-

chick: so, we never got to know each other, you are always goofing around, we never got to know each other or anything.

me: what are you talking about? etc etc etc

-later on-

chick: so, my friend told me that you like this other girl or something?
me: she likes me, I didn't like her. Hey!, other girls like me in the store, but I have no control over that
me: (I try to use the jealousy method)theres this other girl who likes me in the store, the cute mexican chick who has a nice body, you know who i'm talking about?
chick: yeah i know her!
me: yeah, she creeps me out by the way she looks at me all the time.
chick: yeah she creeps me out too. She probably likes you

-later on-

chick: I like you? I never said I liked you. Yeah, I like you as a friend..
chick: why, do you like me?
me: ( I continue to shove food into my mouth to the point where its full like in the twix commercial)

me: ( i was busting her ass at this point) yeah, sure, do you know what time zone your calls fall into PAST 11pm?? Thats like the booty call timezone
chick: OMG! yeah, whatever, bla bla bal bla

--end--

So, it felt like a brick hitting me in the face when she said "Yeah, I like you. I like you as a friend"

Any takes?

And also, I ignored her for a week to see how she would react to that. She reacted well too it by getting all emotional. Because her friend would tell me things like "oh, are you mad at her or somthign because she was telling me that you have been ignoring her"
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Question: What had you told this girl or have shown about yourself that would make her interested in you?
 

verysuave

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she calls me, she gave me her number, we would kino?

I know I am funny and mysterious around her?
 

Eccentric

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chick: so, my friend told me that you like this other girl or something?

I would've stopped it right there because it's all hearsay. That's why I don't dip the pen in company ink. Nothing is private. She's testing the waters, and using her friend as bait to get the scoop on you.
 

verysuave

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Am I missing something here? what answers were you looking for...?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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verysuave

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Eccentric said:
chick: so, my friend told me that you like this other girl or something?

I would've stopped it right there because it's all hearsay. That's why I don't dip the pen in company ink. Nothing is private. She's testing the waters, and using her friend as bait to get the scoop on you.
I work with her friend in the same department. I would never bring topics about her though to show some mystery because I know they talk alot.
 

Yapper

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maybe she was just messing with you man.
sure got your head spinning didn't it
 

verysuave

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And I never lowered my value or anything. I was always above her.

I saw the dude she dated before (not really sure if they had sex). fatter than me, uglier than me and thought they had no game. And specially thought boring as fvck.. Like, the really quiet fresh off the border mexican dudes.

But, it makes me wonder sometimes what these guys have that I don't... I really am this "jerk" at work. I AM A JERK, not "trying to be a jerk".

Maybe, its time for the nice guy to come out again? I remember those days...
welp,.. here i am, still a virgin. turning 26 next month.
 

verysuave

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Question: What had you told this girl or have shown about yourself that would make her interested in you?
Am I missing something? What answers were you expecting from me?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Raikojo17

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verysuave said:
Am I missing something? What answers were you expecting from me?
like he said, u said nothing to get here interested in u.
way too much over thinking and game playing. she said it for u right there bro, that u never get to kno each other, u jus goof around, which is not good.
if a chick feels she doesnt kno u, then how can she have a relationship with u? be mysterious by making her wonder about u, not by making her wonder who u even are.
next time, try talking with her and openin up alittle bit. i think the only mistake u made is that u failed to connect with her. she already likes u, so if u connect with her alittle, than she's all yours.:up:
 

verysuave

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ahhhh you Fvcking englightened me. I guess i was super mysterious. Like, I hardly revealed anything about myself at all. LOL..

The thing is.. I have this phobia, im afraid that If I reveal, one fvcking bit about myself, she would be uninterested and bam, mystery is gone. GAME OVER

I read on the boards that, giving out info about yourself isn't a good thing. But, anyway, thanks for the reply. You totally englightened me.
 

Dannyrt34

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verysuave said:
ahhhh you Fvcking englightened me. I guess i was super mysterious. Like, I hardly revealed anything about myself at all. LOL..

The thing is.. I have this phobia, im afraid that If I reveal, one fvcking bit about myself, she would be uninterested and bam, mystery is gone. GAME OVER

I read on the boards that, giving out info about yourself isn't a good thing. But, anyway, thanks for the reply. You totally englightened me.
Sorry dude.
I tried to type a good response but I erased it all.

I'm a little drunk and my advice wasn't making any sense even to me.
 

MrS

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me: I heard you built an altar of me with candles around it. -grins-
*I recited the "our father" prayer to her but replaced the "father" with my name.

me: ( I continue to shove food into my mouth to the point where its full like in the twix commercial)

me: ( i was busting her ass at this point) yeah, sure, do you know what time zone your calls fall into PAST 11pm?? Thats like the booty call timezone


That's some ****, man, no wonder she wasn't completely over the moon about you.
That just came off as crap, in my opinion.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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verysuave said:
Am I missing something? What answers were you expecting from me?
I have no idea what you had told her or even if you had told her anything, that's why I asked.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Raikojo17 said:
like he said, u said nothing to get here interested in u.
way too much over thinking and game playing. she said it for u right there bro, that u never get to kno each other, u jus goof around, which is not good....
:yes:
 

Jariel

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Don't read too much into it. If you really want to know where you stand, you need to ask her out instead of relying on these hints.

Your C+F started well in my opinion: it was ****y and funny, which is extremely important. I'm getting the impression you overdid it and lost your steam along the way, however. In future, try to limit yourself.

I found when I've used C+F in the past, women would neghit me in response. Once in a while was fine and it was good fun, but too much and we ended up falling into the big brother and little sister roles. :p

Also, don't expect C+F to work magic. It's a fun and flirty way of interacting with women, but it won't make them fall for you.

Above all, live and learn. Put this down to experience and use it to steer you right in future.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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I think you lost yourself in the game. I don't even know you and reading what you said alone doesn't even seem natural.

I think you have to tone the game down a bit and relax. Stop trying to think of the most "witty" or "C+F" thing to say ALL THE TIME. You're losing her because you're not being true to yourself and she's picking up on it. Try to be yourself more around her instead of Mr. C+F.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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