Former roommate being a pain in the ass. Opinions requested.

[Brules Rules]

I basically moved in with a friend of mine, and her brother a year and a half ago. My lease was almost up, and this place is closer to the bars anyway, so what the hell! The house is actually owned by their mom, but they keep it running, and still have to pay her rent.

Earlier in the year she moved out (by "she", I mean my friend, not her mother) with her boyfriend, and her brother and I decided to stick around and took over the lease. Fair enough. She still has a key, comes and goes as she pleases, she left a lot of her junk around, her mail still gets delivered here, and we ended up having to take care of her cat since she didn't want to pay the extra charge for having pets at her apartment.

Now, every time she gets into a fight with her boyfriend, she says she's moving back in. Just this past weekend she pulled this ****, and expected me to get my dads truck so I could haul her stuff back in. Once she even thought we were just going to let her move back in, and have the place to herself.

Anyway, today she really outdid herself. Some guy she works with is basically homeless at the moment. His parants sold their house, but failed to find a new place to live (I guess they were outbid on the place they wanted), and they're staying with friends for now, while he has to fend for himself. So of course she calls me, and asks me if I'll let her co-worker move into the attic or something for a few months. I got the whole, "He's really responsible, and you'll hardly know he's there." routine. I told her I'd think about it.

I mean, I feel bad for the guy and all, and somebody helping to pay for the heat this winter would be a help, but I don't want somebody I don't know just moving into my house, and her brother feels the same way. His parents should find him a place to stay if he's incapable of doing this on his own.

So I don't know how to tell her this. I'm not even sure if I value her friendship enough anymore to even care if she gets pissed off at me. All she ever does is piss and moan about her boyfriend, like I wanna hear about it. I feel like telling her to come collect her cat, then change the locks.

 

[The Forms]

Just tell her you like your living situation the way it is and you don't want some other guy moving in. She doesn't really have a say anymore. If she really cares THAT much if this guys out on the street he can crash on her couch.

 

[Brules Rules]

Seriously though, I'm at my wits end.

About an hour ago (3AM) she invited herself and this guy into the house again, both of them reeking of booze. I'm speechless. I don't even know how to go about this. I'm typically a very confrontational person, and lately I usually just walk away from situations that might set me off, because I know how irrate I can quickly become. So that's what I did. I'm at somewhat of a loss. The only thing I can honestly think to do is let them sleep it off, kick the two of them out in the morning, and change the locks when I get home from work.

 

[Brules Rules]

Please, somebody help me out here.

I thought my problem went away, but I guess they've been sneaking into the house the last few nights. I didn't think to check the spare bedroom, since I've been out partying all night wednesday and friday, and I spend the night at my parents house on Thanksgiving. I'm guessing that her ex has decided to not go peacefully, and she's left without a place to go with this new guy.

Tonight I stayed in, and while sitting here in front of the computer I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, along with the rattling of keys (this was at about 4AM). I opened my door, and there they were, drunk as **** again, trying to sneak into the middle bedroom. I asked what they were doing here, the kid she's ****ing around with just dropped his head and kept walking, and she tried giving me an attitude. A minute later she came barging into my room, and gave me some sassy BS about how this is her mom's house, and she can do whatever she wants (keep in mind that this is a 36 year old "woman" I'm dealing with). I reminded her that I'm paying rent to live here, my name is on the lease, that without me her mom would have had to either sell the house or move back here and take a job locally, and I asked her how she would feel if her landlord's daughter just decided to spontaneously let herself into her apartment at 4 in the bloody morning! She didn't have anything left to say, and went back into the spare room.

In the morning I'm calling my landlord and letting her know about the situation, that I've already purchased new locks to be put on the doors, and that I would like to be reimbursed for them. I'm sure she's going to take her daughters side.

So does anyone know what my rights are here? Am I going to have to potentially contact a lawyer?

 

[Phyzzle]

My opinion,

her brother and I decided to stick around and took over the lease. Fair enough. She still has a key.

What's wrong with this picture? I wouldn't have agreed to that in the first place.

But I would first call her Mom, and maybe settle this peacefully. Say "your daughter isn't welcome here anymore. My name is on the lease, just like this other guy. If your daughter, your niece, your cousin, your best friend, or whoever else you give the key to barges in here drunk one more time, I'm calling the cops."

Be a nice guy, offer to move her stuff out on to the sidewalk for her. And then do it. Right now. What's she going to do, call the cops and say she has the right to live in some place her mom rents out?

I would imply to the landlord that you're scared of the people she's bringing in, like "bad things" might happen if she keeps trespassing. Light a fire under the mom/landlord's arse.

Yeah, I'd say talk to the landlord, then the cops, then a lawyer.

 

[Phyzzle]

I was in a similar situation, but I guess I got off lucky. She left for good as soon as I told her to.

I'm guessing those people have been at least smoking weed at your place. Generally, everyone gets in trouble when the cops find any. That alone is a good reason to not let it escalate to calling the police.

Good work on the lock change. I wouldn't try getting a re-imbursement, though. I mean, you foolishly "kinda sorta" agreed to let her keep her stuff there. Why should she pay for you changing your mind? I'm sure lock changes for pugnacious daughters aren't on the lease.

 

[Brules Rules]

Right. I just looked over the lease, and it states that I need written permission to change the locks, and that it's at my expense. Oh well. I wasn't really that bothered about eating the cost for new locks, and I don't know why I even thought about it. All I want is peace of mind. I've already gone and beefed up my renters insurance policy.

I never agreed to let her keep her stuff here either. My lease wasn't even written up until a few months after she had moved out, and as I considered myself a guest here at the time, I didn't bring it up.

Actually, I'm afraid this is all a little more complicated than I'd like it to be. A few weeks ago she told me that her boyfriend accused her of cheating on him, with me. He gave her some ultimatum, and she told me that she valued my friendship so much that she wanted to end her relationship with this guy. Then she asked me if I had a crush on her. I basically just told her that I didn't, that she wasn't my type/was like a sister/"It's not that I don't think you're attractive, it's just that I'm not attracted TO you.". I didn't want to have to tell her that I thought she had too many ****ing mental problems, and was too old to be someone I could ever consider dating. She told me she was hurt. Now she's seeing a mini-me. I'm probably reading too far into it though.

Anyway, I'm going to take you up on your advice. It's pretty much what I was planning.

 

[Potbelly]

I don't see what's so hard about this.

Step 1: Call up the landlord and tell them that (a) your safety is threatened when she brings drunk men into the house at late hours. This is a very real concern. What's the difference between this and a burglar breaking into your house? In both cases it is someone you do NOT know, and someone who is NOT invited.

Step 2: Get permission from landlord to change locks.

Step 3a: Change locks and your problem is solved. She will b1tch and moan about "GIVE ME MY STUF!!!" And you can do just that. Leave it all in a a nice little box on the stairs for her to come get at an arranged time.

Step 3b: Take this up with authorities and call the cops on her the next time she tries to come in at 4AM. Call the cops and say she is a burglar/intruder/trespasser. I am NOT KIDDING about this one. Tell her to her face if she steps inside your door, you will call the cops and say an intruder has entered your house.

Step 4a: She leaves. Problem solved.

Step 4b: If she waltzes in, proceed to pick up the phone and call the cops stating an intruder/trespasser has entered your house who is harassing you. Wait for the cops to get here and point to her and tell them she is the one who is the trespasser and let them do their job. Problem solved.

 

[Brules Rules]

It's pretty much taken care of now. My landlord even insisted on reimbursing me.