Former "objectified" hot chick now depressed over being lonely because she became fat

[MatureDJ]

Basically, I was a beauty at 14 and it maimed me. Men would glom onto me in a trance-like state until I married at 22, and then afterward they still glommed onto me. They would honk their horns, whistle, shout, walk into walls, stand beside me and stare in a stupor. I got sexually harassed at work and thought it was my fault. I got love letters from men I didn’t know. I got propositioned constantly when I was married although I didn’t dress provocatively and I didn’t flirt. I could just be reading or something and some guy would wander over and try to pick me up. Clerks would give me free stuff and waiters would flirt even though my ex was right there.

<snip>

In my marriage I started to get some identity and started to rebel against being treated like an object, and I put on weight. My ex would get angry at my slightest weight gain, and would act out including weighing me and measuring my food, and doing stuff like peering in food cartons in the pantry when he got home from work to see how much was left. After I had my child he was so upset at the remaining weight while I was nursing that I had to stop nursing because he made my life hell with looks, remarks and neurotic behavior. Needless to say, I just put on more weight after that.

The problem now, seven years after my divorce, is that I am still pretty but very overweight — I need to lose about 60 pounds. I can’t seem to make myself get back in shape, although I feel bad physically at this weight and my health has suffered. My joints ache and I am sure I’m pre-diabetic if not actually diabetic. My finances are in the toilet, my credit is shot, my career is nonexistent, and I don’t have health insurance. I am so depressed because my life has been such a failure. Most of all, I’m lonely. I was hoping I would meet someone right now who could see the real me, and accept me, and that way I could take the weight off knowing I had someone to whom my appearance didn’t really matter. But in our superficial culture, most men won’t even look at me. I feel like if I lose the weight nothing good will come of it — I will just attract the same types of men who glommed onto me before, that my ex has won, and he was right, that the most important thing about me is my looks. Yes, I’ve been in therapy about it, and we talked about this rebellious reaction and about boundaries so I could fend off unwelcome advances. But like men with money who attract gold diggers, women who are very pretty can never know if the men flocking around them are doing so for the right reasons.

Let's see ... she was blessed with a very level of beauty that so many other women don't get and threw it down the toilet - of course blaming it on "superficial" men, leaving her "maimed". :trouble: And now says that she can take the weight off *after* she meets a man who is not interested in her beauty. Uh huh, I'm sure the probability of that is about the same as getting struck by lightning. :crackup:

 

[The_flying_dutchman]

60 freaking pounds???!!! that's a lot.

I want to say that I feel bad for her, but I don't. We all have to take personal responsibility for our weight and our appearance.

God blessed her with beauty, she should have taken care of His gift. If she didn't take care of it then it means she didn't appreciate that He gave her this gift instead of giving it to someone else.

 

[( . )( . )]

In my marriage I started to get some identity and started to rebel against being treated like an object, and I put on weight.

Object?? Oh she means a desirable woman. Ok I got it. Lets just flip that as an experiment to fully see what heights of retardation we're looking at here.

In my marriage I started to get some "identity" (whatever the fvck that means) and started to rebel against being treated like a man, and I stopped protecting my family, mowing the lawn, opening jars and killing spiders.

Yep it's up there. And they vote.

 

[Stagger Lee]

You know she is being a hypocrite. Even 60lbs overweight and 29 years old with a kid or two, she probably can get more attention than most guys who aren't overweight. What she's really complaining about is not getting as MUCH attention and from as ATTRACTIVE as guys she was when she was younger and thinner.

And even then, all she has to do is stop overeating and lose the weight and boom she'll be a hot comodity again. Boo hoo hoo. How would she like to be a guy where not being born to have a handsome face or resist hairloss etc makes you unattractive to shallow females.

The only real victim here is the ex-husband. You manage to marry a hot girl and still every horny bastard behind every corner is trying to fvck her. Then she gets all fat. She either stays hot and leaves you for one of all the guys hitting on her or she gets fat and undesirable. Sometimes you just can't win lol.

 

[The_flying_dutchman]

The only real victim here is the ex-husband. You manage to marry a hot girl and still every horny bastard behind every corner is trying to fvck her. Then she gets all fat. She either stays hot and leaves you for one of all the guys hitting on her or she gets fat and undesirable. Sometimes you just can't win lol.

That's the trouble we face as men. Even if we score a hot chick, we're constantly having to fend off other pursuers, this is tiring and distracts from careers. OR, she gets fat and all the hard work we've invested into the relationship is for nothing. If we call her out for being fat, we're labelled as insensitive. On the flipside, if WE get fat or begin balding, her and her b!tch crew would start sh1t talking behind our backs.

I believe the solution for us men is to bang as many hot chicks as we can while we're young, whether it be from superior PUA skills or using hookers, it don't matter....just bang as many hotties as you can.

then when we've had enough, we should look for a good women regardless if she's mediocre in the looks dept. Good women are just as hard to find as good men.

 

[glass half full]

That's the trouble we face as men. Even if we score a hot chick, we're constantly having to fend off other pursuers, this is tiring and distracts from careers. OR, she gets fat and all the hard work we've invested into the relationship is for nothing. If we call her out for being fat, we're labelled as insensitive. On the flipside, if WE get fat or begin balding, her and her b!tch crew would start sh1t talking behind our backs.

I believe the solution for us men is to bang as many hot chicks as we can while we're young, whether it be from superior PUA skills or using hookers, it don't matter....just bang as many hotties as you can.

then when we've had enough, we should look for a good women regardless if she's mediocre in the looks dept. Good women are just as hard to find as good men.

yes, +1

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

60 pounds=MORBIDLY OBESE. There is nothing shallow about not being attracted to someone who's morbidly obese. Our brains are hard wired to avoid unhealthy looking women because they are a poor choice for birthing our offspring. Don't kid yourselves, fatties still get plenty of attention. Granted, the attention they get is from below average males, but it's still attention. She now knows what it's like to be one of those unattractive guys that hit on her back in the day.

 

[Zarky]

She could have always worn dumpy clothes or glasses or gotten sh*tty hair cut to fend off the mean men. No need to blimp up. That's how the hot girls in high school did it when they were sick of being hit on everywhere they went. Just wear sweats and a loose sweatshirt and put your hair in a pony tail with no makeup. Even the hottest girl looks pretty average that way.

In all fairness though I knew a girl in college who was absolutely stunning. When she was dressed up, guys would come out of buildings to introduce themselves when she walked down the street. I can't imagine what it would be like to have pretty much every member of the opposite sex want a piece of ya.

Sometimes I envy that and think f*ck, I could clean up with women if they all wanted me, and then I think would I really want every fat old b*tch in town to ask me out to drinks and so forth? Probably not.

 

[zekko]

Everyone wants to look good but few are willing to put in the work and sacrifice.

Funny thing is, when she looked good she didn't have to work at it. Natural youth and beauty did that for her. And she didn't appreciate it then. Now that she's had a kid and put on weight she'll have to work for it. But chances are she's never going to be as hot as she was when she was 21 or whatever.

 

[SecondHalf]

I was hoping I would meet someone right now who could see the real me, and accept me, and that way I could take the weight off knowing I had someone to whom my appearance didn’t really matter.

What she doesn't say is .... "He has to be hot".
She wouldn't have a man 60 pounds overweight.

Meh, another bubblehead.

SH

 

[MikeOck]

What she doesn't say is .... "He has to be hot".
She wouldn't have a man 60 pounds overweight.

Meh, another bubblehead.

SH

And wealthy.

I guarantee that she could find someone with a penis to love her, the problem is that when she was young and hot, she could pick and choose only the most attractive and successful men. As she aged and gained weight, her selection dropped considerably. As comedian Chris Rock said, men can't go backwards sexually and women can't go backwards in lifestyle.

 

[sambwoy]

On the flipside, if WE get fat or begin balding, her and her b!tch crew would start sh1t talking behind our backs.

Men get chastised for being shallow, but I have heard women say things like (when seeing highway maintenance men/builders in the street) 'Why are they all old and ugly?', as one example. The way they talk, it seems by their logic being 'unattractive' is immoral.

Attacking solitary men/lone wolves in their groups...I don't know why they do this. Going through college and being on the bus to college with that, even just being laughed at for no apparent reason, did nothing for my outlook on life, and it took some time, and real knowledge, through sites like this, that helped.

 

[Big Nuts]

Moral: Don't get fat, pig.