Forgetting my Identity

[Axcell]

Hey guys, been feeling somewhat confused/lost/sad, because I am not too sure who I am anymore. Hope this post doesn't come off as AFC, as I am clearly not, however, I am just wondering if anybody else has felt this way.

The past year, I have been reading many posts, e-books, watched many videos and tape recordings of picking up women and transforming yourself. (And sure, all this stuff has worked, I seem to be quite amazing with it!) But now I am afraid that I don't remember who I used to be. Now I am this whole charismatic/confident/****y/funny person, when in truth, I wasn't like that a year ago.

Just want some thoughts on this subject..
In short, it feels that by reading those books, I have BECOME those people writing those books and not who I actually am.

 

[lildevil]

I always said when I got in to this...I was going to learn and keep my life together..eventually I did same as u.... I started reading every possible book I could read...

The more i read ....the more I felt like i was getting deeper(my Ipod was full of videos and had alot of alpha male books thrown around) i loved the success(don't count me wrong)....


When i couldn't find myself no more...thats when i backed off(whoa)...I stopped coming this kind of websites...I had no taste for women,I could read every one of them like a book....

one day I got mad I erased all of the ****... I said that I would stop reading systems and pie charts...that some nerd did while in his mothers basement

Ive had time to search who I am as a person and haven't really looked back on this much...

Its great when u know when to take a breath of fresh air and regain a little part of whats yours back

 

[john paul]

Change for the better?

Do you like being charismatic, confident, ****y and funny or who you were before?

 

[Answers]

Maybe you have focused too much on getting women and not enough on other parts of yourself???

 

[lildevil]

Change for the better?

Do you like being charismatic, confident, ****y and funny or who you were before?

its true...never try to change ....to be some else always stay true to who you are....always keep in check...and have boundaries get the best out of everything

 

[Interceptor]

You need to integrate core values and have integrity in order keep to them. These are essential for identity.

If you have no core values, morals, ethics, then your identity will be harder to pinpoint.

You are probably very young and inexpereinced, so you havent had too many experiences which have helped to forge a true mature identity.

The reason you cant remeber WHO you were BEFORE is because you didnt know WHO you were before EITHER.
Meaning, you had no REAL identity to begin with.

You're OK, dude. Really. It's alright.
Nothings going to happen to you.

Relax and keep reading and learning, and MOST IMPORTANTLY go OUT THERE and APPLY what you have learned.

GO out there and EXPERIENCE Life, so You CAN forge your IDENTITY in REAL TIME.

 

[Drumstick]

You need to integrate core values and have integrity in order keep to them. These are essential for identity.

If you have no core values, morals, ethics, then your identity will be harder to pinpoint.

You are probably very young and inexpereinced, so you havent had too many experiences which have helped to forge a true mature identity.

The reason you cant remeber WHO you were BEFORE is because you didnt know WHO you were before EITHER.
Meaning, you had no REAL identity to begin with.

That sounds like pretty good advice to me, its all true. I'm going to keep that in mind.

Think of The Game by Neil Strauss. Remember that I havn't read it, but I do know about it. Remember how he learned all this stuff and used it with great success but finally found he was empty and unfulfilled from it? You need to give your life substance. You need foundation. Banging hot girls will not define who you are, so that should not be your ultimate goal and the real object of your attention.

As Interceptor said, you need integrity, you need knowledge of self and foundation. Spend less time reading the pick up stuff and more time finding out what defines you. Do anything and everything you might find interesting to find hobbies. Read anything and everything you think may give you greater insight into the world and yourself (be it religious text or fiction or whatever).

If you do not have this core, this foundation, everything will fall down. It's impossible to sustain a sense of confidence without also developing a sense of identity. This is what I call "keeping it real", you have a solid sense of self so your actions are autonomous. You do not compromise your values for any reason. If you just read this player stuff and spit it back out word for word, it will break down. If you have a filter, a sense of self, you will see what stuff will apply to your perspective and apply it, and it can not break down because it rest on top of a strong foundation of indentity.

Find things that thrill you, find things that bring you peace.
Find ideas that give you understanding to the world.
Find a voice to speak your mind and express yourself.

Long story short: inner game>>>>>> outer game

 

[farlenrejorano]

I used to feel like that...I would recommend that you read a post called Downside of the Seduction Community. It will help you a lot to see the difference between what's relevant in the foruns and what only makes you confused.