Forget Value/HI/NC/ and all BS On SoSuave

[Plutoman]

I'm going to throw in a counter point. To have a successful life, many of these concepts need to be internalized, but not consciously thought of. However, to internalize them, sometimes you need to consciously consider the circumstances.

When you break up with an ex, and go 'NC', this is having the self-respect to move on with your life. You may think on her. However, if you do contact her, you are going to be worse off. The practice is in internalizing this to the idea of "I am better off not talking to her" and thus forgetting about her. The steps involved are; "Average Guy who continues talking to her" -> "Guy who consciously decides not to talk to her" -> "Guy who has self-respect and internalized the idea of being better off, and doesn't think of her at all."

Similarities arise with interest level. Many men are at fault of 'projecting', imagining feelings a woman has that she really does not. Thus, understanding what actions a woman takes that show interest and what do not (these are fairly obvious, but in the very beginning, some men may need to learn them), understanding when a girl is not interested and then to move on. By consciously thinking about the signs, you internalize it to understand when a girl is interested or not naturally.

Essentially; the game needed is to learn the concepts and internalize it into a natural state of life, that includes self-respect and a social intelligence (that many men don't have - especially with the prominence of video games and other distractions). Yes, there ARE ways to interact with women that are better than others. This is dubbed 'game'. If I met a girl, really liked her, asked for her phone number, and then promptly called her every day and tried to talk to her for an hour (yep, guilty of this at one point in my life) she's gonna run away. If I get a girl's phone number, and she only responds to one text, and ignores every succeeding one, I need to not continue thinking about her and move on in my life to others. I do this naturally now. I don't 'think' about HI, NC, anything like that.

Fact is, guys still do these things regardless of how successful their life is. I see it all the time. It's sad, yes. I myself am an example. High school - in shape, good looking, very intelligent and in the top classes, talented in music, friends with all the top social circles (jocks and etc), couldn't get a girl for my life because I did not know how to do anything when a girl was interested (I can give all kinds of examples).

To be honest, it sounds like you were a guy who grew up in the social situations and had the social intelligence to understand these things naturally. Don't hate guys who have had to learn it. You've thrown out a lot of stereotypes, a large amount of bias. Why is it bad if someone lives with their parents? Why are you assuming we all hate women merely for being here on SoSuave? Why do you think we're all brainwashed into believing there is no good women? If you are referring to specific people, that's an extraordinarily passive-aggressive tactic. If you are referring to the general forum population, then you are stereotyping without any basis as to who each of us are.

And to close, I agree with you; the best thing a person can do is to get themselves a life. To work hard, to work out, to be ambitious in life. However, learning how to understand social interactions though is not going to hurt anyone. Learning how to actually be a man, and not a supplicating girl, is not going to hurt anyone either.

 

[muscleman]

OP - I think YOU'VE spent too much time here, or at least that's the vibe I'm getting from your anger.

Too much of anything is a bad thing, but you gotta understand there's a learning curve. When I first joined here I read a lot. I spent a lot of time here. I became engrossed in it.

But then I took action, learning from experience, and slowly began to spend less time here. That's normal. This place is school and some people are more remedial than others, so what?

I do agree that MOST of the posting here is from guys still in the bitter/jaded stage, but that's normal. This is the longest, most difficult stage to get through after taking the red pill. For some it lasts a lifetime.

Self improvement and gaming chicks are also not mutually exclusive, so I hope you're not hinting at that by saying 'what are you doing with your life'. Yes, girls should be a secondary focus, but they're still a major focus. You can enjoy your life, live how you want, AND still get women. They don't have to be at odds with each other.

I think you and Darth should have a bromance, you're both in that arrogant early 20s stage and spewing crap to put others down who are trying to learn and get better in their interactions with women. Is there really a need to bold and brag about how you're on top of the world at 23? (you're not by the way, I had all that and then some on top of a college degree at your age, but does that make me a better person? nah)

 

[Daily Insanity]

OP - I think YOU'VE spent too much time here, or at least that's the vibe I'm getting from your anger.

Too much of anything is a bad thing, but you gotta understand there's a learning curve. When I first joined here I read a lot. I spent a lot of time here. I became engrossed in it.

But then I took action, learning from experience, and slowly began to spend less time here. That's normal. This place is school and some people are more remedial than others, so what?

I do agree that MOST of the posting here is from guys still in the bitter/jaded stage, but that's normal. This is the longest, most difficult stage to get through after taking the red pill. For some it lasts a lifetime.

Self improvement and gaming chicks are also not mutually exclusive, so I hope you're not hinting at that by saying 'what are you doing with your life'. Yes, girls should be a secondary focus, but they're still a major focus. You can enjoy your life, live how you want, AND still get women. They don't have to be at odds with each other.

I think you and Darth should have a bromance, you're both in that arrogant early 20s stage and spewing crap to put others down who are trying to learn and get better in their interactions with women. Is there really a need to bold and brag about how you're on top of the world at 23? (you're not by the way, I had all that and then some on top of a college degree at your age, but does that make me a better person? nah)

Yeah yeah, I've head this before. That's why you use this site still and agree with it and I don't. girls should be a secondary focus, but they're still a major focus. :crackup: I feel so sorry for you at your age. I hope this major focus make's a successful man out of you.

 

[PlayHer Man]

OP.. you clearly take this site WAY too seriously and personally.

This is a place to share ideas about women, game, and being a man. Everyone is not going to have the same opinion. Everything is not going to work for everyone.

You've been here since 2008? Why did it take you 5 years of reading and a few months of posting before you decided "its all bullsh!t" then throwing a tantrum?

And now you want to talk down to everyone here and say you are better than everyone because you are working to become a business man and you own a 2013 coupe? (BTW buying a brand new car is one of the dumbest financial moves in the world. So I find irony in you calling people morons).

If you're living your dream and so successful.. why are you so pissed off? Go live your life and do your thing. Let SS members do their thing.

Your little rant actually reminds me of a girl I met 10 years ago in college. She was part of my social group in college and she liked to party, drink, have sex and do everything else the social group did. After college ended, people went their own ways, but the social group still got together every once in a while. I heard through friends (and see on Facebook) that she went on to become every successful. She moved to NYC and lives in a high rise. She drives a Porsche and wears designer clothes. She eats at the best restaurants and travels to different countries for "fun". Sounds like a sweet life right?

But guess what? She is p*ssed off now. She sh!ts on everyone in the old social group behind their backs. Whines about how everyone is "lazy" or makes bad life decisions, etc. She thinks she is better than all of us now and she is angry at us for it :crackup: Why is she so angry and miserable now? I don't know. But she used to be a lot of fun to hang out with in college. Now everyone is pulling away from her because of her toxic stuck-up attitude.

OP.. instead of ranting.. why not tell everyone on SS what you have learned in your life that is making you more successful with women? That's really what SS is about.

You asked us what we are all doing in our lives. For me...I'm pretty much doing what you are doing. Already have an online business. I do some investing and I'm planning on starting a larger business in a few years so I can eventually work for myself 100%. I just don't own a bran new car because I know that is a huge waste of money.

 

[betheman]

Yeah yeah, I've head this before. That's why you use this site still and agree with it and I don't. girls should be a secondary focus, but they're still a major focus. :crackup: I feel so sorry for you at your age. I hope this major focus make's a successful man out of you.

and there is you, king of the castle....still on this site??? its good of you at 23 years old to be so humble to feel pity for the rest of us on here..do you think when you discard your next 10, you might entertain us by scattering her number among us ?

 

[floydb25]

Meh... To me, it's about sharing experiences, understanding why certain things happen, recognizing the tactics, games, etc being used, realizing the reality of situations, how most people are (vs how you want them to be, or think they are), and that sort of thing. It's more about not being naive, oblivious, and gullible, accepting reality, and improving yourself accordingly, so that you aren't the chump nice guy who gets used / played / disrespected / walked over... Without even realizing it.

But also, there ARE certain traits and characteristics and techniques that work to attract women. A lot of people are just being themselves, and acting too friendly / passive / over-eager, tolerating all sorts of BS, being too available and needy, pedestalizing women, not asserting themselves or embracing their sexuality, focusing all their energy on one woman, waiting for a girl to break up with their BF, and all sorts of nonsense... Without even realizing the error of their ways, or what they should be doing, OR what the women are doing to them.

I disagree strongly about value, status, interest level, and "game". It's all just a game, and all these things you are doing to naturally attract women is part of that. You just don't realize it, and that's kind of what it's all about. People are being advised to not focus all their energy on one woman, to put themselves first, focus on their hobbies & careers, to be self-sufficient, not take everything so seriously or give a **** about rejection, etc. This is the "natural" way you speak of. You have a life; seem fun and interesting and independent; you attract women. Not everyone realizes this, or has the proper mindset for it. Or things like being the prize and having standards.

It's all relevant, and not so natural to everybody.

 

[zinc4]

These forums are plagued by men who are living in their own self centered - women hating world, and the more members join the more they become cynical, jaded, untrustworthy, stereotypical brainless morons. Developing this optical illusion that every woman is going to rip your poor little hearts out, that high interest level is what makes women wrap their vaginal walls around you, that no contact will bring a old ex back who you probably FVCK up with in the first place or vice versa. You have developed a brain tumor called SoSuave BullShlT. Reading what these old tired fvcks who have been on this site for 13 years type up and have to say will initially brainwash you to think you are the shlt and women are shlt, so treat them like shlt and you will become a god of women. Truth is sunny, you're a spec of nothingness in this world, you contribute to society as much as all of us and yet no one notices your Don Juan a$$. That's the mere truth, and yet you want to develop a mental disorder as well?

Think of it this way:
The more you think about your NC, HIL, Value, the more you become a brainless idiot. You spend your days on this forum hoping to learn more how to become a Don Juan and yet you still live with your parents, have a dead end job, look like Bibendum the Michelin Tire Man, walk around the mall staring at girls hoping one will notice you. Do you think anyone cares about you? Get the fvck out, you're a idiot.

At the end of your life what did you accomplish? You maybe banged 40 girls and you're still a brainless moron who followed what the SoSuave guys with alot of REPORT (green little crap) have to say.

I have been reading these forums since 2008, recently joined for fun. It kind of intrigued me to see what a Don Juan in real life is. I found out that.

A. I have to NC chicks who dumped me and think about it all the time.
B. Understand VALUE, and think about it all the time.
C. Understand High Interest, and think about it all the time.
D. Online dating brings your confidence down.
E. Girls are in some other dudes castles, whatever.
F. Understand AA (Approach Anxiety) and THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.
G. Understand the fear of rejection and think about it all the time.
H. Most women are worthless.
I. Women can't be trusted around other men.
J. Women need to be put in their place.

I learned a lot - NOT.

So let me tell you what I do.

I am 23 years old, worked my a$$ off to become a respected businessman (dont need college that shlt is a scam), own a 2013 Genesis Coupe, have my own place that I pay $950 for rent, in the process of buying a house, repaired my credit, ripped because I find time to go to gym, own my own business on the side and am a certified personal trainer.

Here is my question to YOU.

WHAT THE FVCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE???

Wait... I know this answer.

You spend your time here listening and reading about how these guys failed with WOMEN, take their advice and do it.

To me:
WTF IS A WOMAN?
Oh wait, it's all these girls throwing themselves at me to have my seed.

I wait.
I fvck.
I live.

And yet you're here staring at your screen hoping Atom Smasher reply's to your post.

I been on SS Since 2008, I have only 76 posts. Why? BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE

GO GET A LIFE OUT THERE, cupcake.

College is not a scam...you learn to how to seriously read and take in content in college....seriously....i owe 50 K for college and i don't regret it one bit....

 

[Daily Insanity]

OP.. you clearly take this site WAY too seriously and personally.

This is a place to share ideas about women, game, and being a man. Everyone is not going to have the same opinion. Everything is not going to work for everyone.

You've been here since 2008? Why did it take you 5 years of reading and a few months of posting before you decided "its all bullsh!t" then throwing a tantrum?

And now you want to talk down to everyone here and say you are better than everyone because you are working to become a business man and you own a 2013 coupe? (BTW buying a brand new car is one of the dumbest financial moves in the world. So I find irony in you calling people morons).

If you're living your dream and so successful.. why are you so pissed off? Go live your life and do your thing. Let SS members do their thing.

Your little rant actually reminds me of a girl I met 10 years ago in college. She was part of my social group in college and she liked to party, drink, have sex and do everything else the social group did. After college ended, people went their own ways, but the social group still got together every once in a while. I heard through friends (and see on Facebook) that she went on to become every successful. She moved to NYC and lives in a high rise. She drives a Porsche and wears designer clothes. She eats at the best restaurants and travels to different countries for "fun". Sounds like a sweet life right?

But guess what? She is p*ssed off now. She sh!ts on everyone in the old social group behind their backs. Whines about how everyone is "lazy" or makes bad life decisions, etc. She thinks she is better than all of us now and she is angry at us for it :crackup: Why is she so angry and miserable now? I don't know. But she used to be a lot of fun to hang out with in college. Now everyone is pulling away from her because of her toxic stuck-up attitude.

OP.. instead of ranting.. why not tell everyone on SS what you have learned in your life that is making you more successful with women? That's really what SS is about.

You asked us what we are all doing in our lives. For me...I'm pretty much doing what you are doing. Already have an online business. I do some investing and I'm planning on starting a larger business in a few years so I can eventually work for myself 100%. I just don't own a bran new car because I know that is a huge waste of money.

The pleasure is all mine, PlayHer Man, unfortunately you seem to be the type of guy who believe's all of this will eventually going to help you in your life. You have the right to disagree as I have the right to post a thread. Now that you know the rights, let me tell you why you failed your reading exam. First of all I don't see any bragging or saying that I am better than anyone else on this site. If you didn't fail your exam you could interpret that my whole thread is about helping the new and younger guys stay away from guys like YOU. Of course you will throw a tantrum and tell me how wrong I am but yet you couldn't even once understand my point. You remind me of my ex girlfriend in highschool, smart girl but just doesn't get the meaning of studying for her exam, she'd rather skip school and party. Unfortunately, Avon is not a business that you own, it's a dumb idea that will take you years to perfect, maybe never.

PlayHer Man, let me be clear and tell you that I founded sosuave back in 2008. Kept reading it and never once used advice from here. Instead I did what I wanted to do, but some people experience here is very informative, which related to mine.

Again if you didn't fail all your exams you could see that this is not a rant, but some advice given to the guy's who should stop reading your stupid posts about how to NC women, instead concentrate on life itself, because one day you could be like PlayHer Man, and own your own online business at age 29.

 

[Wolfbones]

The OP reminds me of Renaldo7.

 

[youngmack]

How did you amass your riches bro? What is your business all about and how did you start it up. How many years it took you to get to where you are now?

 

[PlayHer Man]

The pleasure is all mine, PlayHer Man, unfortunately you seem to be the type of guy who believe's all of this will eventually going to help you in your life. You have the right to disagree as I have the right to post a thread. Now that you know the rights, let me tell you why you failed your reading exam. First of all I don't see any bragging or saying that I am better than anyone else on this site. If you didn't fail your exam you could interpret that my whole thread is about helping the new and younger guys stay away from guys like YOU. Of course you will throw a tantrum and tell me how wrong I am but yet you couldn't even once understand my point. You remind me of my ex girlfriend in highschool, smart girl but just doesn't get the meaning of studying for her exam, she'd rather skip school and party. Unfortunately, Avon is not a business that you own, it's a dumb idea that will take you years to perfect, maybe never.

PlayHer Man, let me be clear and tell you that I founded sosuave back in 2008. Kept reading it and never once used advice from here. Instead I did what I wanted to do, but some people experience here is very informative, which related to mine.

Again if you didn't fail all your exams you could see that this is not a rant, but some advice given to the guy's who should stop reading your stupid posts about how to NC women, instead concentrate on life itself, because one day you could be like PlayHer Man, and own your own online business at age 29.

Well SS really just focuses on one area of life. You are acting as if most people live, breath and die by SS. I don't come here to give (or get) advice on taxes, business, education, politics, movies, technology, food, exercise, etc. Its really just about women, relationships and getting laid.

NC makes perfect sense. Why should any man continue wasting his precious time on a toxic or failed relationship?

And what's with the online business crack? Do you believe anyone who isn't rich and powerful with their own private jet by age 28 is a washed up loser? That seems to be what you are implying by making light of my online business.

Don't be a troll.

 

[Daily Insanity]

Well SS really just focuses on one area of life. You are acting as if most people live, breath and die by SS. I don't come here to give (or get) advice on taxes, business, education, politics, movies, technology, food, exercise, etc. Its really just about women, relationships and getting laid.

NC makes perfect sense. Why should any man continue wasting his precious time on a toxic or failed relationship?

And what's with the online business crack? Do you believe anyone who isn't rich and powerful with their own private jet by age 28 is a washed up loser? That seems to be what you are implying by making light of my online business.

Don't be a troll.

I dont have a private jet I'm not making light of your business, you brought your business into this discussion and expect it not to be discussed.

youngmack, I opened a real estate business and am currently a landlord of a duplex. I rebuilt my credit through skyblue, took out some loans and am currently having cashflow through the business. It's demanding but I did hire a maintenance manager at the site. I wanted to live in the duplex however, found it to be more financially reasonable renting it out to collage kids for UWM. You have to spend money to earn money and starting to save at a young age will open up doors for you later on. Immerse yourself in the business world, get to know a lot of people. That's how you get in the circle of important individuals.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Didn't bother reading through all the posts but one thing this forum has thought me is self respect.

 

[muscleman]

Yeah yeah, I've head this before. That's why you use this site still and agree with it and I don't. girls should be a secondary focus, but they're still a major focus. :crackup: I feel so sorry for you at your age. I hope this major focus make's a successful man out of you.

Let me ask you a hypothetical question. Your Maker appears and gives you 2 options:

1) Get everything you want out of life that makes you 'successful' in your own mind. More money than you know what to do with, everybody loves you, everyone knows you, you have great friends and family, you live a life of leisure pursuing whatever hobbies you want, traveling wherever you want, basically doing whatever you want whenever you want and you can do no wrong ... BUT ... you can NEVER have sex again.

2) You spend a lot of time working on yourself and chasing tail. You spend a decent amount of time learning game, applying it, 'wasting' time on dates, and slowly becoming a casanova of sorts. You may not be particularly wealthy, but you're not living paycheck to paycheck either. You're not really famous, but a few people in your social circles know you and like you. You have some hobbies, but you can't afford to go to exotic locations every week, so some checks and balances are in effect .... BUT ... you get more sex than you know what to do with. Eventually you decide to start a family and once you've sown your oats you find a girl who checks off the important items on your list and make babies. You have a relationship that you want on your terms.

Which would you choose?

I asked this on another board a while ago and it shut people up pretty quick, so I'm curious about your response (if you have one). It's nice to think that women aren't a focus at all, that you don't care, that you 'live life for you', but if you KNEW that you could never get laid again I guarantee your outlook would change quick. You'd probably kill yourself.

Nah, ultimately most of what you do you still do for poon, which is ok. There's no shame in this. It may be indirect (becoming famous so girls come to you vs. you approaching them all the time for example), but the prime motivator is still there.

This place is for guys who admit they have problems with women and want to get better. If you're trying to convince us that game and self improvement and all that is pointless and we're all wasting our time, you came to the wrong place. You should probably be contributing at MGTOW sites instead; start here: http://www.the-spearhead.com/

 

[Aristippus]

All of the good advice on here falls under the same theme. Live life on your terms, have self-respect and respect for other people. Treat people well and don't tolerate bad behaviors and disrespect from others. Be willing to walk away from people and situations that make you unhappy. Realize that your time is valuable and don't waste time on people that don't care about you. Instead, spend your time doing what you want and with people that care about you. That's it.

All of the bad advice contradicts these principles. Also, lots of people tend to think in dichotomies or extremes. There's the extreme of thinking like most men think (like worthless beggars) and also the extreme of living in "SoSuave Land". Real life is usually somewhere in between. There's a fine line between protecting yourself and paranoia. Between wearing your heart on your sleeve or being too closed off. It's a balance. To the person who started this topic. At 23 I thought I had life figured out too. Eventually what happens is, you either continue living in the delusional fog, believing you know everything, until the day you die, or you wake up and begin to realize how little you really know.

There were old men for thousands of years that believed the world was flat and went to their graves believing it. They died believing the world was flat. There were young men who thought they had life figured out and grew into old men that never woke up. The people that begin waking up slowly realize that real life isn't always black and white. That your perceptions (by necessity, because of the limitations of the nervous system) are limited. That some illusions in life, even if they are false, serve a purpose and give direction to people who would otherwise have no direction. And that we need a set of guidelines that are self-imposed to give us direction. You have to make your own observations and rules. Popular opinion won't give you all of the answers. Neither will non-mainstream opinions or sites like this one. You have to observe real life, and if something you learn translates into real life, use it. If not, throw it away. Real life is usually somewhere in between the extremes of viewpoint. Look for the shades in between. You might be an intelligent young man, but you're nowhere near even scratching the surface of having it all figured out. No worries, neither am I.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I am 23 years old, worked my a$$ off to become a respected businessman (dont need college that shlt is a scam), own a 2013 Genesis Coupe, have my own place that I pay $950 for rent, in the process of buying a house, repaired my credit, ripped because I find time to go to gym, own my own business on the side and am a certified personal trainer.

A "respected businessman" who lives in a rental apartment, drives a hyundai and works part time as a personal trainer? I guess your idea of a respected businessman is a little different from mine.

 

[Darth]

I think you and Darth should have a bromance, you're both in that arrogant early 20s stage and spewing crap to put others down

Well, I'm trying wholeheartedly not to do that. If you catch me doing it, smack me, OK?

 

[floydb25]

RE: Aris

All of the good advice on here falls under the same theme. Live life on your terms, have self-respect and respect for other people. Treat people well and don't tolerate bad behaviors and disrespect from others. Be willing to walk away from people and situations that make you unhappy. Realize that your time is valuable and don't waste time on people that don't care about you. Instead, spend your time doing what you want and with people that care about you. That's it.

This... is actually more difficult to realize, and apply than you think. I used to have major problems with this - due to low self-esteem, co-dependancy, approval-seeking issues, and so forth. That's why a lot of people are on here, and have these problems. They probably don't even realize it as it's happening, or that the women / friends they are choosing are bad for them, and that they need to do these things; take control over their lives, stop being pushed around, and have respect for themselves. But either way, it's always good to get an outside perspective, and get into details on a case-by-case basis. That's what it's all about, really.

But you summarized it quite nicely.

 

[Beowolf]

Your posts on here mainly bash this site, and you offer advice which isn't bad by itself, but your dating journal is pathetic. I read here that you banged maybe two chicks. If you're not actually ****in girls, than all you're advice is worthless to me. The guys that score tons of ***** are the ones I will take advice from, because they know what women want aside from status and money, are for real, and yes, treat women like dirt, and **** the living **** out of them multiple times in one night, to mind-blowing orgasms, while big-mouthed ditwads like you post pathetic dating journals here on SS.

 

[DonJuanabe]

First, Daily Insanity mistakes the purpose of NC -- it is not to get the ex back. While that might happen and is a potential secondary effect, the primary purpose of NC is for you to begin to let go of the ex, much like giving up cigarettes or another drug you've got to get it out of your system. So, as far as NC is concerned, you're a dolt.

Second, this site serves a valuable purpose for many guys -- awareness. Guys who don't have an innate understanding of being attractive to women need to be aware of the behavior and mindset they have that women find unattractive. This does not mean you memorize a list of definitions and then repeat them over and over. It means you become aware and, over time, you develop and grow as a man.