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For those who try to motivate themselves but can't

ArcBound

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Motivation is useless alone. One trap people fall into is the motivation trap. You try to get yourself hyped and pumped to do something in your life, but then it fails and you fall off. We see this in all aspects of life but especially around new years time. Then you enter a cycle of seeking more motivation to get yourself back on track. But that isn't what is needed.

One needs discipline not motivation. You can look up endless motivational speeches on youtube, see countless before and after pictures, pump yourself up with visions of the future and all your potential can hold, but in the end if you don't have the discipline to move forward it is all just mental masturbation. You motivate yourself, you failed but at least you "tried". That is the lie people tell themselves everyday.

This goes for anything in life, working out, building a career, approaching a cute girl, quitting substance abuse, whatever. Add discipline to your life. Impose standards on yourself, and be honest as to whether you have followed them. Stop getting caught in the cycle of useless motivation and learn to discipline yourself.

Over the past 2-4 years I started slowly disciplining myself. It was very hard. I had to drop friends with bad habits that tried me to do the same. I have no problem with drinking but when you have friends that go drinking every day of the week and pester you to hang out, you slowly phase them out. I had a serious video game problem: I removed all video game systems and gave my laptop battery to a friend so I couldn't game on it. Now I just have a mac mini from 2008 that couldn't play games if it tried. I installed an alarm clock that keeps playing random noise until you solve a 5 part math equation making it so you have no time to hit snooze. I gave myself set standards for every day, how much to study, etc. I had to limit so much of my free time to weekends, and not even then sometimes.

The world is always going to call you to comfort. Your friends are going to invite you to play video games, drink with them, smoke with them, learn to control yourself or drop your friends for others. Distractions like TV and entertainment, movies, and even the internet and endless "manosphere" articles will compete for your time and attention. Do not allow them a foothold into your life. When you want to go to the gym or go workout, the comfort of your bed is calling you, and your mind calling you, saying just workout tomorrow. You have to train yourself like a dog, you have to train your mind and body, because it is human to go the path of least resistance, of the most comfort, of no trial and all peace. You have to discipline yourself, otherwise you will get nowhere in life. Set standards for yourself, especially related to time, and try to follow through on them. Motivation points the direction of your dreams. But discipline is the fuel that moves you forward. Without discipline you will only ever stare in the direction of your dream, but never actually moving forward to it.
 

TheException

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Posts like this should be the staple of sosuave.

Self-improvement is the main reason we are here and a topic we each can rally around and be supportive of. That being said......some people have the opposite mentality and are disciplined.....but lack motivation. I personally am a huge fan of motivational speakers like Eric Thomas because he speaks with such passion and really teaches life lessons. Check his youtube channel if you have never heard of him.
 

ArcBound

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TheException said:
Posts like this should be the staple of sosuave.

Self-improvement is the main reason we are here and a topic we each can rally around and be supportive of. That being said......some people have the opposite mentality and are disciplined.....but lack motivation. I personally am a huge fan of motivational speakers like Eric Thomas because he speaks with such passion and really teaches life lessons. Check his youtube channel if you have never heard of him.
Thanks for the kind words.

True there can be people with the opposite problem, but it seems to me we are in an age where we have an excess of motivation but not enough discipline. I could be wrong, but if I wanted to I can find any sort of external motivation from any number of resources, but ultimately I still have to learn to discipline myself which is something I found not taught that often.
 

Mike32ct

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ArcBound said:
Thanks for the kind words.

True there can be people with the opposite problem, but it seems to me we are in an age where we have an excess of motivation but not enough discipline. I could be wrong, but if I wanted to I can find any sort of external motivation from any number of resources, but ultimately I still have to learn to discipline myself which is something I found not taught that often.
Exactly. I agree that you ultimately have to force or discipline yourself to reach goals. I don't think any motivation BY ITSELF is strong enough to see you all the way through and across the finish line. You will always be fighting the urge to take days off, sleep, play video games, watch a movie, etc.

I think we search for the perfect motivation that will automatically keep us on track. It probably doesn't exist. You have to keep yourself on track by forcing yourself sometimes.
 

Mr Wright

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Awesome stuff.

I definitely just downloaded puzzle alarm to my phone, it looks very comprehensive, there is no way you can just press snooze with this one.
 

JohnChops

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this 1000000%. make a plan, stick to it, just because youre tired doesnt mean you stop. For example its finals week on thursday i studied for 4 hours, then i studied another 4-5 hours today. Im taking a break tonight to go out and drink (shocker) and then continue throughout the weekend. You also cant forget to reward yourself for what youre doing. Some people are all gung-ho then burn themselves out because they never take a break, you need a little break, just dont let the break become your lifestyle.
 

RedZone

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It's cool what you did, but I don't know if I agree fully. It's okay to play video games if that's what you like. Just don't play them all the time like you used to. Everything is fine if it's in moderation.
 

SeymourCake

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Ironically, this thread was motivating.

Tell me more about that alarm clock though.
 

skinnyguy

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Lately, my motivation has been to stop drinking completely. Last night I was out with friends. They got bottle service and the whole time they were asking me why I didn't have a drink in my hand. But I stood my ground. Today I didn't have a hangover and felt great. So, you need to have sort of a long term view when it comes to goals. The short term fun stuff can be cool but there can be repercussions later.
 
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