"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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For those who remember me.. and those that don't

I'm Joe Dirt

Master Don Juan
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Ahhh it feels weird to be back, but I wanted to give you all some advice as well as an update on my life.

I don't know how many of you even remember me as its been I think around 3 or 4 months since I last posted and this place has quite a turn over rate.

Anyways, for those who don't know me I used to post here all the time. I used to be totally into this stuff reading up on the latest David DeAngelo techniques, watching all the seminars I could get my hands on, reading a ton of books, etc. I even had good practical experience, I was regularly applying what I learned to get phone numbers and dates.

Life was good. Then I met my girlfriend. Life is even better now.

After going from girl to girl (just seeing them all a few times and moving on or "seeing" several at the same time), I am now in a regular relationship. I got exactly the girl I wanted: she doesn't do clubs, she doesn't really drink much, she takes good care of me, she's smart, she appreciates the time we spend together, she takes me out to fun places, and we enjoy a healthy sex life.

A lot of the things that attracted her to me are things I learned about through the community. Things like ****y and funny (on our first date I made fun of her age joking about her being too old and she recalls that as one of those moments where she started to feel attraction for me), just being a man (saying no if I don't want to do something instead of letting her walk all over me like her ex did), etc. are all things I mastered through this stuff right here in the community.

So yeah, I haven't dropped off the face of the planet. I didn't purposley stop going to the forums here, though it just kind of worked out that way.

This summer has been awfully busy for me, since I do have a full time job, I also took some classes in summer school at college, and I've been busy with other stuff too.

I think its good for people to stop coming here once they have found what they are looking for in the arena of love. I understand there is always room for improvement, and I still try to read some books or articles about psychology and things of that nature whenever I can just for my own curiosity and improvement.

Now for advice

1. Never forget what you learn here. The lessons you learn in this community and the techniques, concepts on psychology, and things of that nature are things that exist always. Not just in pickup, not just in the first 10 days or whatever, but always.

The personality changes you go through once you start picking up and learning this stuff are personality changes you sometimes have to very conciously make yourself keep. Do not become a wussy, do not start letting her walk all over you once you got her, etc. Those things help keep a relationship going strong and help her keep attracted to you.

So once again: NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU LEARN HERE.

2. Make sure you know what you are looking for. This way when you find it, you know to keep it. I had a clear idea of what I was looking for. I was looking to be in a relationship with a girl who had certain characteristics. Namely, someone who doesn't do drugs, doesn't get drunk, doesn't go clubbing (since I am not a club guy and I wouldn't want her to go by herself!), takes good care of me, cares about me, drives a car because I don't have one yet, and fulfills my sexual needs. A tall order, sure, but I found exactly her (and the skills I learned here helped me keep her!).

But if you are just aimlessly wondering around the landscape not knowing what you're looking for you might miss what you wanted. I suggest strongly to think of the most ideal relationship or arrangement you want, and once you get it hold onto it (at least until you get bored, that is IF you get bored).

3. Oraganize/Pay attention to the rest of your life. If you get the rest of your life in order and have a purpose things will be much easier. I used to read about this and hear about it in seminars before, but now I know what it means.

What it means is have an idea of where you are going with your life. It does not need to be exact like "I will be working as a Carpenter" or anything like that, just have a general idea of the direction you want to go.

For example, "I want to work in technology and business in some sort of management/planning capacity" or "I want to work with people helping them find solutions to their needs". These more general directions will help you narrow down what you have to do to get there. For example studying computer stuff and getting certified, maybe getting a business degree, etc. Still general enough so you can do all kinds of different jobs that come your way, but not too specific so that you are cornered like a rat and have no choices in life.

First, women find a man with a purpose attractive, and second it helps you feel better about yourself. Gives you something to look foward to. This summer I looked forward to getting my technical certifications, next year my Bachelors, and then perhaps my MBA.

Getting your stuff together and organizing your life in a way that makes sense for you will have a great effect on you and help keep you on your path and will also help prevent one-itis or obsession. Without a purpose if you meet a woman you really like you run the risk of being obsessed and throwing away all your options and closing all your doors for her. With a clear path that you intend to stay on (and make sure your girlfriend, who should support you, also knows your path and your intentions to stay on it) you will be much more balanced and attractive.

So yeah, in general just don't ignore the rest of your life (friends, family, hobbies, abmitions, etc.) just for women. Keep your life balanced.

Well that is all I have for now. I will probably start checking these forums again every now and then now that summer school is over so I have a bit more time.

Thank you guys for everything and now that I got what I want out of the community I hope I can give back a little too.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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Congrats on finding the right one for you. Going from girl to girl is the way I figured out what I really wanted, and believe me, I went through lots to find one worth keeping. Actually, I was really mad when I found her because I was having so much fun, I almost wished it could've came later.

Good Luck & Best Wishes
 

wayword

Master Don Juan
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I'm Joe Dirt said:
I got exactly the girl I wanted: she doesn't do clubs, she doesn't really drink much, she takes good care of me, she's smart, she appreciates the time we spend together, she takes me out to fun places, and we enjoy a healthy sex life.

her being too old and she recalls that as one of those moments where she started to feel attraction for me), just being a man (saying no if I don't want to do something instead of letting her walk all over me like her ex did)
Wow, congrats! :cheer: I think many of us here are seeking a girl like that! How old is she, btw?

Learning to say NO is one I've been working on lately, too. This is a hard habit to break as I'm naturally a nice, polite guy. But apparently, it's too often a symbolic shyt-test to see how supplicant you are to her. And women want a MASTER, not a SLAVE. Would a master ever fetch even a glass of water for a slave? NO! In fact, would the slave even DARE ASK a master for ANY favor? NO!
 
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