Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

For those who have trouble with confidence


Don Juan
Jan 23, 2002
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north haven, ct, usa
Hey Djs
You've all probably heard that you have to have "confidence". In fact your probably sick of hearing it.

You've heard that confidence is:
having a passion for life
being happy
contolling your emotions
feeling comfortable in any situation
believing in yourself
personal drive

The truth is....
they were right. It is all of those things.

You've heard that to get confidence you must:

gain experience with women
talk to people
start standing up for yourself
fix your imperfections

All those definitly help.

I'm sure the newbies are trying all of those things out, and it's bustin their heads because their mindset is negative, and they do not know how to do things in small steps....

There are three traits that EVERY confident person posesses.

1) They live without dependence.
2) Because they have no dependencies, they have no uncontrollable fears.
3) They know how to motivate themselves, when to NOT listen to people, and know that whatever happens, it will not be out of their control.

How do they become like this?

Perhaps it was because they had a childhood in which their parents taught them to ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR SUCCESSES and to learn from their failures.

Or it could be because they were taught to NEVER DOUBT THEMSELVES.

"But Aero, I need to know how to get my confidence NOW. I mean, I see other people who have absolutely no doubts about themselves, aren't phased by critism, and even laugh at things that the rest of us are to scared to do!"

Listen up.

The first thing you have to do is be able to question things.

1) Why am I doing this? Am I doing this to impress/prove something?

My cousin ( who is very self-assured) once told me that on everything, you must consider the source.

Why do people do the things they do?

I used to get let down if even a completely f***ed up kid would criticise me. Then I thought "This kid crticises me only because we hates himself. By telling me my faults, he is attmpting to tear me down for his own esteem."

so number 1 is to question the source.

if you can figure out the source, then the event will not phase you. you will find that people who criticise you wrongly do so out of insecurity. you will actually find yourself laughing at these people.

number 2 is to become dependant on NOTHING.

aside from parents etc, I mean nothing.

that means quit building your happiness on how many girls like you. It's got to be an independent thing.
if you are dependent on if people like you, when people don't like you, you are crushed. See what I mean?

lastly, know thatyou can handle anything.

example: you walk down the street. some one gets hit by a car. you give cpr, but the person dies. dont hold on to the guilt that you may feel, you did your best.

example: you see a girl look at you and smile.

if you go meet her, the worst thing that could happen is she wont like you. no biggie. not everyone will like you. some people dont like ANYONE.
that is their problem.
tell yourself that what happens will only give you knowledge which can be used later on in life. if you fail, it does not make you a failure. learn to let it go.

in conclusion,
the three things you must learn to obtain confidence are
1) Consider the source, and nothing is as intimidating as it seems.
2) Build on other things aside from peoples approval.
3) Know that what happens is always under your control, and if it is not, know that worrying about it will not help.

doing these you destroy:
self doubt

the main three things which keep you from truely living.

Mack Of All Trades

Master Don Juan
Dec 5, 2002
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I agree.


Master Don Juan
Aug 1, 2002
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Carlisle, Pennsylvania
I like your post aero, but everything you mentioned can be said in one sentence.

Confidence is knowing that you're equal or better to everyone around you.

Good post.


"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"