For those who do club/night game by themselves regularly

[HyperAnalyze]

I was wondering what techniques or methods you guys do to put yourself "in state" - a positive frame of mind in which you are free to do as you please, having things "arise" from you instead of constantly searching for things to say. Always being in a positive, fun, non-outcome dependent state of mind. Giving value instead of taking value, etc.

I basically walk around the nightclub and talk to girls, but I can't find the ability to just be free since I am just by myself and there is nobody I can talk to pump up my "state". I find it difficult to be in a fun, playful, teasing mood when most girls at the club are blowing out guys left and right and I end up catching that end of the hook from time to time. Occasionally I am able to talk to a girl and get some attraction/banter going, but only because those girls are in a playful mood to begin with.

Sometimes I can be in state, but more often I find it hard to keep up that aura and my conscience mind tries to get back into it. So I was wondering, what kind of process oriented trance do you guys follow to stay on track inside the club? Or do you think I am too outcome oriented and seeking approval too much?

 

[BeDJ]

The main thing when going out is to have fun. If you are not having fun, your mindset will influence your body language. Being alone is not fun. Walking around to approach women is not fun. Rejection is not fun.

Grab a drink and assess your surroundings. There should be a group that stand out to you. A group that's there to have fun. They are usually louder, laughing and drinking. Observe what they are drinking, empty shot glasses are good. Look for groups of 3 and 4 with the half or majority being females.

When you approach the group, look for anything interesting and open with that. Be energetic and friendly. Focus your attention on the guys, boost their ego if you need to. You want to lower their guards. Not the typical guy that's their to compete for their women. Be buddy-buddy with the guys, ask them questions, get them talking and look interested.

I wouldn't suggest to target the women in this group, but if it happens it happens. All you are trying to do is establish 'home base.' Rejections take a beating to your mindset, so it's nice to have some cool people to come back to. It's like friends for hire, but a lot of them turn out to be great. Quite a few are regulars and have benefits with the staff. I still keep in touch with some of them and they let me know of upcoming things.

Don't be a lone wolf stalking its prey. Be a wolf in sheep's clothing.

 

[gravityeyelids]

I agree with a lot of what BeDJ said. It's important to just have fun and not be outcome-dependent. I f*&&ing hate night game by myself. It's extremely hard for me cause it seems like my state goes downhill like crazy once i get rejected a couple times. I'm pretty shy, so while I can be on point at a house party where i know half the people, I have a real hard time being social in a public, anonymous bar or club with very little social proof. Lol i just prefer to roll in there with a few girls I know and not have to worry as much.

One strategy you can try is: dont try to get laid. Seriously. Don't just try to put it in the back of your mind, actually TRY to NOT get laid. Just focus on having a good time and being social. If a girl grabs you and drags you into her room and rips her clothes off, then okay you can stick it in. But aside from that dont try to get laid.

It's important to introduce yourself to the guys there and maybe buy a beer for some dude who looks like he's got an attractive group that he hangs with. Get cool with him and his friends, then you have the ability and branch off and try to get with the girls that hang around his group.

 

[HyperAnalyze]

I agree with a lot of what BeDJ said. It's important to just have fun and not be outcome-dependent. I f*&&ing hate night game by myself. It's extremely hard for me cause it seems like my state goes downhill like crazy once i get rejected a couple times. I'm pretty shy, so while I can be on point at a house party where i know half the people, I have a real hard time being social in a public, anonymous bar or club with very little social proof. Lol i just prefer to roll in there with a few girls I know and not have to worry as much.

One strategy you can try is: dont try to get laid. Seriously. Don't just try to put it in the back of your mind, actually TRY to NOT get laid. Just focus on having a good time and being social. If a girl grabs you and drags you into her room and rips her clothes off, then okay you can stick it in. But aside from that dont try to get laid.

It's important to introduce yourself to the guys there and maybe buy a beer for some dude who looks like he's got an attractive group that he hangs with. Get cool with him and his friends, then you have the ability and branch off and try to get with the girls that hang around his group.

I feel you. Night game isn't really that intimidating to me, its just the social circles are extremely strong and I find myself not matching their energy levels when I approach.

I don't think its difficult to go in, introduce yourself and start vibing but I guess I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform. I hate failing, but I guess I gotta start looking outside of the box.