For those that can't get enough: More ****y funny material.

[ValleyDJing]

Alright, so people were saying they wanted more ****y funny material. Personaly I think it can only help so much, but it is pretty entertaining stuff. So I copy pasted this from another website, so I won't take any credit for its genius (or stupidity, redundancy, etc). The public asked for it, now here it is, courtesy of SoCalSeduction.com. Enjoy.

****Y AND FUNNY (From Dave D, his Students, and Me. Compiled by Paradigm.)

Introduction:

The magic formula is: ****Y+FUNNY

****y alone is not attractive. Arrogance repels people like bad breath. But a playful arrogance... Ahhh, that's the stuff that miracles are made of.

The ****y man says, "You are acting like a little girl, and it's annoying me."

The ****y+Funny man says "If you keep acting like a brat I'm going to spank you like a red-headed step- child." (The usual response is "Ooohhh, be careful, I might like that.) No, really.

A ****y+funny man is always on the lookout for an opportunity to show off his arrogant humor.

She gives a compliment on the clothing... ****y+Funny
Man says:

"I just met you and you're already starting with the compliments. Look, I'm not going home with you. I'm not that easy."


C&F's Purpose:

****y and Funny has many purposes. In one sentence you can communicate all of these things;

1. You are emmensly confident.
2. You understand female to male attraction.
3. You are interested in her. (Or are you? Now your a mystery.)
4. You have a sense of humor.
5. You are a challenge.

And let me tell you, less is more. The more you can communicate in the least amount of effort the more powerful it will be. Isn't that the definition of efficient? ****y and funny is a great way to establish attraction and connection into a girl at the same time. So no need to have a juggling act. It will also give you an upper hand in the situation letting you control it with a fun and sexually charged atmosphere.


Practices:

You must always practice on all women (Besides the horrible ugly trust me). It builds skill and congruency. C&F must have a sly, flirty, or semi-serious undertone to it. You can’t just say the line or say it to be mean.
To be C&F one must understand it and flow with it.

Accept it as yourself and make it a habit. You have to learn how to tease women, give them a hard time, and make them laugh at it all. That attitude is called "****y and Funny". She MUST be laughing to make it work.

Write down the 10 most common situations you find yourself everyday and a ****y & funny thing to do or say for that situation.
Example 1: One common situation that happens at bars is bumping into people (I mean physically bumping into them, as bars are often crowded).

What could you say that is ****y and funny when you bump into a girl?
"Excuse me, did you just grab my ass?"
"No."
"Oh, Damn."

That's pretty funny. And ****y.

"Hey, easy there tiger... this isn't football."

Or... "Calm down, there's enough beer here for everyone... you don't have to go knocking people down for it."


Example 2: For instance, you might write:

End Of Date

1) Say to her "Now don't call me three times a day... I had fun too, but no stalking" (Par's note: Awesome one!! I'll tell you how to add to this one later.)

2) Kiss her and say, "Call me"

3) Tell her "I'm busy tomorrow, but if you tempt me with a good enough offer, I might make time for you the next night..."

Are you feelin' me?


Just work out the different situations on paper first, and then do them in real life. You're on the right track...

 

[ValleyDJing]

continued...

Golden Tip: Expecting a laugh and staring into her eyes almost smiling will increase your chances of her laughing. (Women are usually willing to submit to your ideas because women are more submissive then us.)

Examples:

Situation: (Just saw her after a period of time)
Girl: "Did you miss me?"
You: "Yeah, like A Cole Soar."

When she played the occasional (she 's very good!) wrong note I'd look at her smile and say, 'that was nice honey but I prefer Beethoven's
version!"

I didn't know Rolex made plastic watches!

Dave Example: I always like to put women getting upset in my presence into this perspective: "Awww, isn't she cute getting all upset like that?" If this only causes her to escalate, then I'll say something like "Wow, you've really got this getting upset thing down. Does it usually work to get other people to get upset with you and do what you want them to do? Because I'm just not into that much drama in my life..."

My version -->
"You know, you're kind of cute when you're mad."

Student Example: I met this hot girl at a bar, mostly college crowd.

Lot of guys were hitting on her. But as soon as I saw her
alone - I approached her. Here is the dialogue:

Me: Hey, can I ask you a quick question?
Her: ya....
Me: You go to college around here?
Her: no (and then she looks away as if not interested)
Me: (I tap on her shoulder) So where you from?
Her: From...(she gives the city name 4hrs away from where
I live)
Me: How do you like it here?
Her: I am visiting friends (She looks away again and talks
to her friend).
Me: So what do you do in (her town)?
Her: I go to pharmacy school...
Me: SO YOU ARE A DRUG DEALER??
HerShe cracks up and the ice is broken).....small talk
.....ya da ya da.
me: small talk.....ya da ya da
me: I need to go back to my friends but nice meeting you.
(I turn away)
her: nice meeting you too (I really had her attention by now)
Me: (Turn back) do you have e-mail?
her: I don't check my e-mail often.
ME: "Ha!ha!ha!" (I started laughing loud)
HerLittle disarmed)
Me: Do you have electricity?
Her: no....(cracks up)....I really don't check e-mail.
Me: Listen girl....imagine the worst-case scenario...(do as
mentioned in you DD book)
.....I just want to make friends with a DRUG DEALER.
Her: Okay...here is my e-mail.
TOTAL TIME - 3 minutes and 16 seconds to get her e-mail -
yes I timed it.


I personally like to use what I call the "Sly Smile." I'll make a ****y and Funny comment, but if she doesn't get it or takes it too seriously, I'll just smile in a sly way that say, "I was kidding, and it's funny that you didn't get it." Magic.

yesterday i saw this chick and i just said hi
she just smiled to which i responded
"what?? don't i get a kiss"

( when a girl asks for your name is the best opportunity to throw a ****y/funny line

I said... "mmm!! ok but first you have to say "PLEASE... sexy good looking stranger give me your name.." (damn this one is good)

she said the whole thing, laughing.( the key) and i continued to bust on her.

after she said... PLEASE sexy good....."
i said

"oh.. now i get it... you are picking up on me huh???
"that is the weakest pick up line i've heard today"

(try them... they really work!!)
Try this:

Say hi, wait for her hi and then accuse her of looking you in a 'l want you' way.

- I know that look, first you look my way, then you gonna ask for number, and then you start thinking about marriage, hey easy there, l am not that easy.

Then wait she stops laughing.

Then say
- I didn't want to say but you kinda foward, can't we be friends first?.


Situation Co-worker or fellow student was absent yesterday and she ask

Her: What did we do yesterday?
You: Wow! We had this amazing party… It was a … Tiffany isn’t here party it was great.
(Complete with playful undertone, eye smile, and smirk.)
Take it further:
You: It really kicked ass. We had cake,.. stripers,.. and even a banner.


Go to hand her something, then pull it away at the last second.


Shake your head in despair and tell her that she's screwing up her chances with you.


Say something ****y & Funny, then turn around and walk away before she can respond to your face.


Situation: You weren't paying attention or you were pertending to not pay attention when she is close to you and saying something to you.
Her: Hello, XXXX. I was saying something to you.
You: Oh,.... I'm sorry....I thought you were talking to yourself again.


Something the bastard, Hitler, said comes to mind. "The bigger the lie, the more people are apt to believe it." In correlation "The more outrageous the ****y and funny is the more attraction she will feel for you."


Situation: When a girl can't do something seemingly easy or just something that you can do:
You: Wow,...Hmmm.....Have you ever heard of something called 'cordination'?...It's o.k (Pat her on the head) You'll get it.


Remember: you have to realize that this woman was attracted to you for a REASON, and if you stop that REASON, then you're going to stop the ATTRACTION. Don't cave from being C&F.


If you’re in a bar and the woman doesn’t want to be led to another area, feel free to TEASE. "Ok, the REAL reason I’m asking is because you look like you need the exercise. I was trying to be discreet, but now you’ll just have to do your laps by yourself." Make sure you handle this playfully, and don’t be scared to throw her by SHOWING YOUR BACK.


For the rest of the day, she was all over me and wanted to know ALL ABOUT ME - yet I never gave her a straight answer ONCE!!! "Where do you live?", she asks. "I'm not telling you. For all I know, you could be a psycho stalker - as a matter of fact, I think I've seen your face on America's Most Wanted." **SLAP IN THE ARM**
She was grabbing my ass on the job and I told her that if she didn't stop I was going to call Sexual Harassment on her (see the role reversal here!!).


One of my favorites is accusing women of just seeing me as a sex object, and not caring about my feelings... Another is telling a woman that I want her to support me and that if she's not nice, I'm going to divorce her, take half her money, and leave her with the minivan.


I once had a lady I’d been seeing for about two months, when she emailed me a message saying she loved me, and asked if I loved her too. I responded playfully - made fun of her moving too fast like a horny high school boy.
She came back with "How could you sleep with me if you don’t love me?"
I responded "You’re getting way too serious. This is absolutely no fun at all."


How’d it turn out? She wound up apologizing to ME! If you START playful and you STAY playful, you can lose all that negative crap much more easily than you think.


Next 2 are a Bishop examples:
I have had moments when a woman will call me a "Jerk."
"We just met, so."
Or
" That's MR. Jerk to you."
(And a couple of times they've followed it up with, "How about *******?" to which I reply, "No, that's my maiden name.")


"Will you leave?" "or "You can leave now."
As juvenile as it might sound, I'll reply with, "Huh?...Oh, I get it. You have gas and you're embarrassed that I might hear it. I understand. Take care."


Her (with a laugh): "You are such a jerk."
You: "Stop flirting."
Her: "You wish."
You: "If I were wishing, then I'd be wishin' you were Jennifer Lopez." (Or whatever famous actress you're hot for)
Her: "And I'd wish you were Brad Pitt."
You: "Well, I'm his brother, Arm Pitt."


"that guy over there is
ugly"... but it might be cool to say "that guy over there looks like he fell off
the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down, then gnawed on the
root..."
One of my favorite ways to bust on a woman is to take any
attribute of hers and disqualify relationship status because of it.
For instance, it's always fun to ask a woman if she's rich or
famous, then if she answers that she's not, tell her that she’s just
messed up her chances with you and that you're not interested
anymore.


"So what's with the big purse? Are you carrying a gun in there?"
If she’s wearing tall heels, say: "Those are some pretty tall shoes,
what are you, like 4 feet, without them?"

 

[ValleyDJing]

continued...

If she gives you compliments:
• "Look, I'm not like other guys. This compliment thing isn't
going to get you anywhere."
• "Already starting with the compliments, huh? Look, let's just
get this over with... go buy me a drink already."
• "I'm not giving you my phone number, so just quit."
• "Cummon, can't you at least think of something original to
compliment me on?"


Using backhanded compliments, if any: "Those shoes are
beautiful… I’ll bet they looked great when they were new."


Here are some of my favorite ****y Comedy lines. You can use all of
them in all kinds of situations. Have some fun with them.
"Guess…"
"Why doesn't that surprise me?"
"That’s not what I asked you / said."
"Don't tell me what to do."
"I don't think this is going to work."
"Gimmie a break…"
"You know what they say about girls who..."
"Any other random comments about/for me?"
"What kind of trouble have you been getting into?"
"What part of _____ don't you understand?"
"Are you always this difficult?"


For instance, if she asks, "How long has it been since you've
been on a date?" pause, look serious, and say "Does my mom count?"


Don’t Cave In and Collapse-Continue Building with ****y Comedy
This is a crucial component to make ****y Comedy work, so listen up:
Even if a woman reacts negatively at first, KEEP APPLYING YOUR ****Y
COMEDY. Whether she gives you an insulting response or an angry stare,
you mustn’t retreat.


Wusses show their weakness by instantly apologizing: "I didn’t mean to
upset you, I was just trying to be funny." They squeak as they try to hide
their blushing faces.


Balancing Ball Busting With Regular Conversation
It’s important to balance ****y Comedy with regular conversation. Keep
in mind that ****y Comedy and ball busting is actually teasing. It’s
supposed to be fun.

Remember to use it as a spice and not the substance. Women don’t want
a guy who is sarcastic ALL THE TIME. If you rely on ****y Comedy too
much, you will come off insecure and immature.


Situation: She keeps Kinoing you.

You: "You know what? If you keep touchinig me I will have to file a restraining order on your ass. You'll have to wear one of those zap collars so every time you get within 50 feet of me. Zppt! (Mimicing her) Hey, Joe I Zppt! I just wanted to Zppt! (While imitating you getting shocked).
Situation: She makes a smart remark about you and you happen to be taller than her.


You:"I'm sorry.....You must be (Put your head about 1 inch above her head) This tall to talk to me.

 

[SamePendo]

bump

 

[blinkwatt]

HB;"You think your the sh1t huh?"
bw;"Ha,there is a difference between thinking and knowing"(wink)

(I'm a big health nut and people come to me for dieting advice)
HB;"Hey what should I be eating to lose weight"
bw;"Well lets see,Friday night when I take you out to (restaurant), you could eat salad,pasta or chicken."
HB;(Jaws are always dropped in shock)

HB;"Hey muscles."
bw;"You know I'm more then that hunky body from your fantasys,I have feelings to."

(Drive-thru C + F)
Window Attendant; "Alright your total is $*.**."
bw; "Gez,I haven't even taken you out and your already taking money from me."

HB;"You would marry yourself if you could wouldn't you?"
bw;"Whoa whoa,that's possible? I mean you knew this and didn't tell me?"

Older aged HB; "Where is your girlfriend at?"
bw; "Nina,Kelly and Trina are at my house waiting for me."

(Heard this one on the board recently)
HB;"Howcome you don't have a girlfriend?"
bw;"Why you looking to upgrade?"

One of my favorites!
HB;"What are you doing later tonight(or any other time)?"
bw;"Hey I know what your up to. You ask me what I'm doing,then take me out for dinner. Then after that you tell me to come check out your stamp collection at your house. I fall for it everytime and then you seduce me into bed then I never hear from you guys again..."

 

[Derek Flint]

I'm the one who wrote the "you looking to upgrade" one.

HB: "So, do you have a g/f?"

DJ: "Why, you looking to upgrade?"

 

[Cod3r]

VallyDJing --> Probably the most informative post on C+F I've ever read, tks for the information and great liners in there...

Since I've gotten my gf my CnF has fallen off to a great extent, I totally lost my flirty fun, I'm just an arrogant ass to most girls. I'm going to start practicing on some females in the near-future. I remember I got great responses by my CnF and actually surprised some other people as I employed it in a group and had the sexiest girl all over me instead of the big meat-head ma fvckers

Ahhh those were the days, LTR's will kill your game mannn haha, its true !


-Cod3r

 

[KoalaKing]

You don't need this ****y and Funny RUBBISH you need to be CONFIDENT and know what you want, then you will have the HOTTEST BABES swarming all over you.