wait_out
Master Don Juan
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How Older Parenthood Will Upend American Society
How Older Parenthood Will Upend American Society
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
This article is not retards at Slate or the Atlantic trolling for pageviews so try and pay some attention to it. I personally don't give a sh!t about any theoretical equality between the sexes, but a kid with a learning disability will break your heart.Why do older men make such unreliable sperm? Well, for one thing, unlike women, who are born with all their eggs, men start making sperm at puberty and keep doing so all their lives. Each time a gonad cell divides to make spermatozoa, that’s another chance for its DNA to make a copy error. The gonads of a man who is 40 will have divided 610 times; at 50, that number goes up to 840. For another thing, as a man ages, his DNA’s self-repair mechanisms work less well.
...“I often hear from teachers that the children of much older fathers seem more likely to have learning or social issues,” she told me. Now, she said, she’d proved that they can be. Showing that aging men have as much to worry about as aging women, she told me, is a blow for equality between the sexes. “It’s a paradigm shift,” she said.
I think that it is the autism (or near autism, whatever it's called) in the parents (especially for men) that cause them to not be able to find a mate earlier in life - hence older parents are already self-selected to have a higher incidence of autism in their genes.zekko said:They say older parents are more prone to have autistic children. And while I was never autistic, I wonder if I didn't have some sort of chemical imbalance that hampered my ability and motivation to be social, caused by the age of my parents.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
That's about your only intelligent/accurate comment.betheman said:I didnt read it all
No, it's not. And even if it was, what it's saying is still relevant.betheman said:its still pretty much a male shaming article
Objectivity rests in parsing what is true and what is false within individual arguments, not cherry picking your news sources to fit your confirmation bias.betheman said:once I sniff a feminist agenda, my objectivity goes out the window
Of course she's a chickSocial_Leper said:Wait_out, are you a chick just out of interest?
Same article. The author's own child was born with a developmental fine-motor delay after the help of fertility boosters. It is common enough.The most notorious trisomy is Down syndrome... The risk that a pregnancy will yield a trisomy rises from 2–3 percent when a woman is in her twenties to 30 percent when a woman is in her forties.
There is one serious crit that you all missed, in that the author is discussing relative risks (young sperm vs. old sperm) rather than absolute risks (30% trisomy defects for women 40+). How am *I* the one seeing it if you guys are so skilled at tearing apart fem-propaganda, hmm?This past May, an article in the New England Journal of Medicine found that 8.3 percent of children born with the help of ART had defects, whereas, of those born without it, only 5.8 percent had defects.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
There's the absolute number. See what I mean? The problem is just when you come up on the wrong side of the odds.The overall risk to a man in his 40s or older is in the range of 2 percent, at most, and there are other contributing biological factors that are entirely unknown.
Finally, a smart comment from the NYT:Most people have many of these so-called de novo mutations, which occur spontaneously at or near conception, and most of them are harmless. But studies suggest that there are several such changes that can sharply increase the risk for autism and possibly schizophrenia — and the more a child has, the more likely he or she is by chance to have one of these rare, disabling ones.
... Dr. Stefansson and other experts said that an increase in the average age of fathers had most likely led to more cases of autism. Unlike other theories proposed to explain the increase, like vaccinations, it is backed by evidence that scientists agree is solid.
This by itself hardly explains the overall increase in diagnoses, at least in the United States. The birthrate of fathers age 40 and older has increased by more than 30 percent since 1980, according to government figures, but the diagnosis rate has jumped tenfold, to 1 in 88 8-year-olds.
Pearls before swine.You are making this a men vs. women political issue issue. This is highly inappropriate. This is about the efforts to find a solution to a horrible health and life issue many families must deal with for the rest of their lives!
I've suspected as much, he/she's definately on the list. It usually always makes an appearance whenever there's a "men are just as amoral/hypergamous/slvtty (insert chickism)" thread. It's a tough one but for now until I get more of a tell he's just in the naive SWPL mangina camp.Social_Leper said:Wait_out, are you a chick just out of interest?
Our little Social_Leper is growing up.Social_Leper said:Sounds like pseudo science garbage to be honest. The agenda is clear as day.
wind your b!tch neck in!wait_out said:Quite honestly B, if you can't be bothered to read an article like an adult, stay the fvck out of the argument. What good does it do to show the world "I've got no ability to think critically, no patience, yet still expect my opinion to carry weight".
Considering it is only $600, it's accessible and could theoretically prevent your child from having a mental condition, why not? You might change your entire life for the better, for the cost of a few tanks of gas.why not do the smart thing and freeze your little fellas, if it really concerns you.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
This is true -- but what is ultimately more important are the pertinent scientific truths, not the author's spin.colossus said:There are some pertinent scientific truths in that article, but unfortunately it's a little too stained with alarmism and a feminist rhetoric.
good points , in fact a lot of what is called "scientific studies" is all done by women or by some men who want to please women , and try to justify the results to make women happy .betheman said:its still pretty much a male shaming article, I didnt read it all, I couldnt be arsed.
she appears hell bent on proving older woman = having babies = good, older men having babies = producing defective children ergo his fault.
there may well be an increased incidence of autistic children, there are still plenty of healthy kids born to older fathers.
once I sniff a feminist agenda, my objectivity goes out the window
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.