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SeekerOfTheWay

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I found this article to be insightful and it echoes much of the advice given here. I especially like the “be enthusiastic” reminder. It’s pretty funny too! Enjoy!

So you want to be more attractive to the men you most desire. Nice.

 
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SeekerOfTheWay

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Just in case they happen by and for the lurkers.i can’t post this in a women’s forum, they’ll all get mad. haha
 

sazc

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Just in case they happen by and for the lurkers.i can’t post this in a women’s forum, they’ll all get mad. haha
I'm not really sure that the other ladies need that information. I read the article and there was nothing new in it for me. Honestly, you lurk here long enough you pick up on all those items - what men are looking for.
 

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MatureDJ

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So you want to be more attractive to the men you most desire. Nice.

The easiest way for a woman to be more attractive to men:

DON'T BE FAT!
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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I'm not really sure that the other ladies need that information. I read the article and there was nothing new in it for me. Honestly, you lurk here long enough you pick up on all those items - what men are looking for.
I think you’re right because the article was not surprising to me since i have read alot on here. but it’s concise and to the point and without all the extraneous bravado that i sometimes find here along with the good advice.
 
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AJ84

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Good article. A lot of it is common knowledge to women even if some of them won’t admit it lol.

Having a positive and agreeable attitude is so underestimated with some women, like this is just the basic foundation of people actually wanting to be around you lol.

Negative, abrasive people are such a turn off from either gender.

One thing I don’t agree with is the part about men’s hobbies ( sports, politics, philosophy). There are many women who are into these. And for sports? Us Canadians love our hockey! Lots of female hockey fans here and basketball fandom is growing here now esp after Canada made NBA history :)! I was at that parade :).

I totally agree with the not acting nasty if a guy approaches even if she is not interested. Unless he was rude or crude, that’s different but if she puts her hand in his face when he’s being decent and trying to talk to her, it makes her look bad, not him.
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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Good article. A lot of it is common knowledge to women even if some of them won’t admit it lol.

Having a positive and agreeable attitude is so underestimated with some women, like this is just the basic foundation of people actually wanting to be around you lol.

Negative, abrasive people are such a turn off from either gender.

One thing I don’t agree with is the part about men’s hobbies ( sports, politics, philosophy). There are many women who are into these. And for sports? Us Canadians love our hockey! Lots of female hockey fans here and basketball fandom is growing here now esp after Canada made NBA history :)! I was at that parade :).

I totally agree with the not acting nasty if a guy approaches even if she is not interested. Unless he was rude or crude, that’s different but if she puts her hand in his face when he’s being decent and trying to talk to her, it makes her look bad, not him.
For sure. I think it meant to try and relate to some of his hobbies, whatever they may be. I like gaming and geocaching for example which is male dominated. but one of my guys likes sports (which i hate, sorry!) but hes also way into sailing. so not only have i gone sailing with him (duh) but i am actively learning more about it. the terms and how to. i always tend to do that with whoever i date. i used to think people judged me for it and they might. i still do my own hobbies but honestly i love being introduced to something brand new by the man! Getting immersed in their world has helped me become more diverse in my hobbies and interests. and men love to teach so it’s a win-win.

The bit about western girl having a challenging nasty attitude rings true to me and i have fallen into it. i’m naturally a nice person but was taught to be tough and stand up against men by my mom. lol. i was also taught to always defend against men, especially if they “dared” tried approaching. i used to get offended when i was hit on (way more when i was in my teens and 20s) but now i see how lame that was. i did learn from the article that men were taught to be persistent so even when you are nice and polite and tell them not interested, they were taught to keep going. makes total sense so now i will be more patient. after i say no thanks once, if they keep trying i get really offended and annoyed like they aren’t respecting what i said. but now i see the man’s POV.

It really is a good article.
 
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SeekerOfTheWay

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i wish we had a girls corner to talk in here without annoying the guys. lol. this really is a good place for info.
 

AttackFormation

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He's on the right track, but although he makes a note in the beginning of not doing this, sometimes he still speaks a bit too much for all men:

- I don't need women to "clean my mess" as he puts it. I cook my own food, clean my own spaces and do my own laundry and dishes. I'm an adult. It's fine if she does this sometimes because she feels like it or I'm really tired or something, I'll do the same then, but I think giving this advice to women to do as a routine is wrong.

- If heels hurt her feet and she wouldn't wear them if she didn't read that article telling her to, she still shouldn't wear them. If we could end foot binding in China, we can end wearing heels for no good reason. I really don't care about heels. All it does is signal to me "I'm looking for attention", which her both being a woman and being out in public with nice clothes and probably some make up and other cosmetics on, I already knew.

- I don't dream of being a "boss" or "tribal leader". I dream about being free to control my own time, having peace of mind, and fulfilling my goals.

- I appreciate it when girls are pleasant to be with, but I don't need her to "let me talk" or kiss my @ss pretending to like me. Narcissist men will probably like that but if either the man or the woman is looking to meet someone they actually like and respect, they will need to build a connection rather than build a smoke up the @ss generator. The girls I enjoy talking with the most don't "let me talk", which just makes me feel like I have to put in all the effort. But what they do is reply in complete sentences, ask their own questions, make their own extrapolations, and tease me a little in a joking manner so I can do the same back.

- Men with a brain won't think that because a girl isn't easy with him, she wasn't easy with other guys either. Only gullible idiots think this way. If he disqualifies her because she has sex with him when she feels like it, but thinks she's "decent" because she made him wait, he's a moron anyway. What he should be looking for, is whether she treats him to the same or better standard she treats other guys. I like when girls have sex with me for two reasons: it shows they desire me and thus that they respect me as a man (they won't respect you without desire and vice versa), and possibly that they think I'm too smart to fall for the act they'll pull with the idiot (I do acknowledge there is probably no shortage of those).

And that's about it. It's all right otherwise.
 
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AttackFormation

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i did learn from the article that men were taught to be persistent so even when you are nice and polite and tell them not interested, they were taught to keep going. makes total sense so now i will be more patient. after i say no thanks once, if they keep trying i get really offended and annoyed like they aren’t respecting what i said. but now i see the man’s POV.

It really is a good article.
As with anything, there is a large amount of bad advice for men - probably more than the good advice. It's tainted by men on the misogynistic or narcissistic spectrum looking for a following on one extreme, and clueless blue pilled white knights whose wifes will be putting up with sex with them when they need to after settling with them on the other.

Being "persistent" is another one of the pieces of bad advice. I'm only persistent in choosing my time and dignity. Girls help and make it easy for the men they want, which is what guys really need to know. I've never had to be "persistent" with a girl I've had sex with, and it's never paid off to keep talking to a low interest girl. If she stops replying, doesn't help carry the conversation, looks at her phone more than me, turns the cheek, gives no counteroffer, tells me thanks but no thanks, I'm just going to move on.
 
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SeekerOfTheWay

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As with anything, there is a large amount of bad advice for men - probably more than the good advice. It's tainted by men on the misogynistic or narcissistic spectrum looking for a following on one extreme, and clueless blue pilled white knights whose wifes will be putting up with sex with them when they need to after settling with them on the other.

Being "persistent" is another one of the pieces of bad advice. I'm only persistent in choosing my time and dignity. Girls help and make it easy for the men they want, which is what guys really need to know. I've never had to be "persistent" with a girl I've had sex with, and it's never paid off to keep talking to a low interest girl. If she stops replying, doesn't help carry the conversation, looks at her phone more than me, turns the cheek, gives no counteroffer, tells me thanks but no thanks, I'm just going to move on.
You are rare to me then. i have almost exclusively encountered the persistent male. I do accept some blame though. i tend to laugh and smile a lot because i enjoy living. So i get approached with them saying something about my smile yada yada. And i also am probably too subtle at first because i will decline but very nicely and maybe with a smile
or shy (it’s actually awkward) demeanor. so i will give men credit for trying to decipher our meaning and body language. but my second reply is usually “i am already seeing several men and my plate is full” or “i want to be alone” and that still gets more nagging. it’s a huge turn off especially when i wasn’t trying to be turned on. but i get why men persist too because women want to be “fought” for. i personally do not.
 
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AttackFormation

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You are rare to me then. i have almost exclusively encountered the persistent male. I do accept some blame though. i tend to laugh and smile a lot because i enjoy living. So i get approached with them saying something about my smile yada yada. And i also am probably too subtle at first because i will decline but very nicely and maybe with a smile
or shy (it’s actually awkward) demeanor. so i will give men credit for trying to decipher our meaning and body language. but my second reply is usually “i am already see several men and my plate is full” or “i want to be alone” and that still gets more nagging. it’s a huge turn of especially when i wasn’t trying to be turned on. but i get why men persist too because women want to be “fought” for. i personal do not.
Men have been taught that women play "hard to get", this was standard PUA (scam artist) advice back when I still bothered to read it. Some also act as if women don't have their own agency and don't know within the first few moments whether they want to fvck you, but instead basically need to be "persuaded" to have sex (these probably overlap with the guys who think looks don't matter to women). So like I said, unfortunately there is probably more bad advice out there for men than good, and it's not like there are any courses for men growing up to teach them about women. All of us have to learn it the hard way to a lesser or greater extent. You'll have to deal with it until more guys find their way to my posts ;)
 
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AJ84

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He's on the right track, but although he makes a note in the beginning of not doing this, sometimes he still speaks a bit too much for all men:

- I don't need women to "clean my mess" as he puts it. I cook my own food, clean my own spaces and do my own laundry and dishes. I'm an adult. It's fine if she does this sometimes because she feels like it or I'm really tired or something, I'll do the same then, but I think giving this advice to women to do as a routine is wrong.

- If heels hurt her feet and she wouldn't wear them if she didn't read that article telling her to, she still shouldn't wear them. If we could end foot binding in China, we can end wearing heels for no good reason. I really don't care about heels. All it does is signal to me "I'm looking for attention", which her both being a woman and being out in public with nice clothes and probably some make up and other cosmetics on, I already knew.

- I don't dream of being a "boss" or "tribal leader". I dream about being free to control my own time, having peace of mind, and fulfilling my goals.

- I appreciate it when girls are pleasant to be with, but I don't need her to "let me talk" or kiss my @ss pretending to like me. Narcissist men will probably like that but if either the man or the woman is looking to meet someone they actually like and respect, they will need to build a connection rather than build a smoke up the @ss generator. The girls I enjoy talking with the most don't "let me talk", which just makes me feel like I have to put in all the effort. But what they do is reply in complete sentences, ask their own questions, make their own extrapolations, and tease me a little in a joking manner so I can do the same back.

- Men with a brain won't think that because a girl isn't easy with him, she wasn't easy with other guys either. Only gullible idiots think this way. If he disqualifies her because she has sex with him when she feels like it, but thinks she's "decent" because she made him wait, he's a moron anyway. What he should be looking for, is whether she treats him to the same or better standard she treats other guys. I like when girls have sex with me for two reasons: it shows they desire me and thus that they respect me as a man (they won't respect you without desire and vice versa), and possibly that they think I'm too smart to fall for the act they'll pull with the idiot (I do acknowledge there is probably no shortage of those).

And that's about it. It's all right otherwise.
You have some good points and i think for the non narcissistic man it’s more about a woman just genuinely into him, investing, having his back and nourishing his life, rather than depleting it. Cultivating a relationship that he feels good being in, which should go both ways of course.

I love doing stuff for my guy because I enjoy it, not because he’s a man child who can’t manage to cook or clean on his own. There’s a big difference between him liking what she does for him (cooking, massaging his feet etc) and him expecting it because it’s the woman’s role and he can’t or won’t cook or clean or tend to his own feet lol. Men like that end up making a woman feel like his mother and nothing is more of a turn off to women then feeling like the person they have sex with is someone they need to mother. That can lead to duty sex: he’s just another chore she has to ‘do’.

Also yeah I think ideally some hobbies shared are good because you have more in common, but like seeker said it’s nice to learn and experience new things, even if she ends up not picking it up as a shared hobby, just being open to trying something he enjoys is great for connecting. But there is a line between wanting to connect and pretending to like everything he likes which is very old school and yet to this day very widely used advice for women to land men, like what he likes.

You are spot on about knowing whether she treats him the same or better than past guys. This is very very true and a good thing to assess.
 

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AJ84

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You are rare to me then. i have almost exclusively encountered the persistent male. I do accept some blame though. i tend to laugh and smile a lot because i enjoy living. So i get approached with them saying something about my smile yada yada. And i also am probably too subtle at first because i will decline but very nicely and maybe with a smile
or shy (it’s actually awkward) demeanor. so i will give men credit for trying to decipher our meaning and body language. but my second reply is usually “i am already seeing several men and my plate is full” or “i want to be alone” and that still gets more nagging. it’s a huge turn off especially when i wasn’t trying to be turned on. but i get why men persist too because women want to be “fought” for. i personally do not.
This reminds me of a scene in Clueless when Cher gets upset because Elton tried to kiss her in his car and she demands he pull over and let her out. He tries to persuade her to get back in the car and she won’t so he drives away and she shouts, “Where are you going?” Hahaha. I used to be a bit like that I’m ashamed to say, when I was a teenager.
 

zekko

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Clueless was so weird with Cher and her step brother getting it on. It's like Greg and Marcia Brady doing it. Back on topic:

I like the part where he says that men challenge each other, so we don't want to be challenged by women. Most men are competitive, and even friends usually compete with each other, in a friendly way.

Although I've read about the occasional guy on here who wants to be challenged by women, most guys want the girls to make it easy for them. That's why you read all the advice here to go for the high interest woman.
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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Clueless was so weird with Cher and her step brother getting it on. It's like Greg and Marcia Brady doing it. Back on topic:

I like the part where he says that men challenge each other, so we don't want to be challenged by women. Most men are competitive, and even friends usually compete with each other, in a friendly way.

Although I've read about the occasional guy on here who wants to be challenged by women, most guys want the girls to make it easy for them. That's why you read all the advice here to go for the high interest woman.
The article said men want to be healed. I think i get what that means but what do you think? is it the same as men want someone soft to be with, to tell emotions to, a place they can relax?

As far as making it easy for the guy, i thought they preferred if we have out own lives ans friends and hobbies and not make them the center of our universe?
 
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AJ84

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The article said men want to be healed. I think i get what that means but what do you think? is it the same as men want someone soft to be with, to tell emotions to, a place they can relax?

As far as making it easy for the guy, i thought they preferred if we have out own lives ans friends and hobbies and not make them the center of our universe?
Yeah I’m not sure what he means by that, as it implies that men are broken, which I don’t think is true for most men. Would like to know what the members think of that concept.

In my experience I found that men who have interests/ passions outside of women and are not needy tend to prefer their woman having her own thing going and not being in his face 24/7 Hahahaha. Men who are needy and insecure seem to demand more of her attention and time and can’t deal with her having interests and a life outside of him.

Making it easier, is like what Zekko said, basically not making things difficult. To me it’s like if he comes home from work in a bad mood and maybe she’s tired from her own day a work. She complains that he’s grumpy, rather than giving him a big hug because he had a sh*t day.
 

ubercat

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The great line from the old Tom Petty song Woman in Love. "... She makes it easy lets the little things go". It's one of the sure canaries for a dying relationship. if your girl starts picking you up on the little things she ain't your girl anymore. At that point rip the band-aid guys. Coz u very got months of bait improvement, ego destruction and monkey branching trial runs to look forward to.
 
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