For Online Dating, Seems Like Mr.Nice Guy Wins...

[Suavemente]

I'm into the online dating thing a bit. I know a lot of guys aren't, and whatever, I mean to each his own. But I view it as kind of just having an extra lure in the water at all times, so to speak. I really don't think it hurts. Well, I have tried, believe me, just about every approach you can think of on various different sites. Different types of pics, different types of profiles, you name it. I know the masters say, and I'm not saying I'm better than them at it or trying to prove them wrong or anything, but, I know they tend to say the totally d!ck'ish approach in one's profile seems to work best. I have to beg to differ however. I have tried that approach numerous times, w/some good pics (I would say I'm honestly slightly above avg looking, not some outrageous "looker" or something but also definitely not like some of the snaggle-toothed loafers one sees on these sites as well). I've tried diff kinds of pics w/diff kinds of profiles. The one where i have gotten the MOST replies, I swear to Gd, is the profile with the black and white pics (kind of look like model portfolio "headshot" type pics; you can make them b & w yourself , it's nothing) with not quite a full smile, more like a "smirk" (think of the way George Clooney often poses), and the Mr.Nice Guy I'm looking to fall in love and I'm sick of the clubs Romantic type guy profile. I believe the reason for this is b/c the girls who resort to online dating are already sick and tired of getting the playboy type guys, the Don Juans and the ****y kind of guys, etc etc, out at the clubs, bars, or wherever they go and are approached (which could be anywhere) in their daily life. So, by the time they reach the Internet dating, they ARE actually looking for a Mr.Nice Guy to date. I was flooded with responses for the first time ! Whereas, by contrast, every single time I tried to pull a C & F and or just ****y / playboy / Don Juan type sounding profile, regardless of the pics, I got ZERO in the way of responses and no responses back after writing to females. I suggest therefore, and it's just a hypothesis of my own after much experimentation, that the reverse is true when it comes to online dating; in person they DO respond well to the C&F , DonJuan type of approach(es), in general. On the Internet, on the personals, they respond to just the opposite. Anybody else have any input on this phenomenon at all??? Thanks, ~D

 

[The Juan and only]

I don't have much myspace experience myself, but:

Maybe those women were just looking for a guy "friend" to dump their emotions on; I think that's one of the reasons why some of these women sign up in the first place. Or maybe for the attention they get from AFCs and the like.

Either that or they do it to be polite/expand their friend list. I mean if you aren't being sexual, and aren't being direct about what you want, then they can respond without any commitment.

p.s aaa, use paragraphs man.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The Mr. Nice Guy approach does seem to get more attention however I question how often it get's a second date or anything beyond the LJBF zone.

 

[logicallefty]

I have had just the opposite experience

-A profile all serious and nice = no action

-A profile with mostly ****y and funny and a **slight** bit of seriousness/niceness = lots of action

I even had a chick who cold rejected me with the "nice profile" IM me over a year later and say "I noticed you changed your profile. It sounds more confident now, great job fixing it". She actually started acting interested but by then I had enough others in line that I told her thanks but no thanks. :kick: Man that felt good!

What a lot of online girls have told me is that they are sick of guys who solicit sex in the first 30 seconds ever talking, and that I do believe. Why? Because I heard it from the female I trust most in this world, my sister.

However, are the girls online really looking for a "nice guy", hell no. They will all tell you they are in their profiles and when talking, every single one. But as Francisco says, if you want to stear clear of that LJBF zone, don't let the Mr. Nice Guy in you manage your game.

 

[wayword]

The real hook in online dating is your pic. With varying pix, you will get varying feedback.

When I recently changed mine, I got quite a few girls adding me and leaving comments. And it was all based on the pic, as I didn't change my profile.

It comes down to fine-tuning your self-portraits to showcase your best angle and look. A ****y smirk is probably often a safe bet...but it may vary for each person. The whole point of being a DJ is identifying and maximizing your unique strengths and potential - figuring out what works best for YOU. And taking your best picture is a perfect metaphor for that.