"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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For fun: contradictory words of wisdom

Effington

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Everyone and their grandma have little sayings that they live by. There are so many of those old proverbs out there that a lot of them give the exact opposite advice. For example, one of my favorites is "The early bird gets the worm" and "Patience is a virtue". They are telling you to do two opposite things!

Here is another: the squeaky wheel gets the grease, or silence is golden.

Here's one that is probably the most appropriate for this forum: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you vs. Nice guys finish last.

Can you guys think of any others? If you can't, I'd like to hear which of these you feel is the best wisdom.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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j-flex

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curiosity killed the cat vs curiosity killed the cat, but worked for the human.

have big dreams that is whats life is all about. vs dont have big dreams and expectations, that way you wont get disapointed and frustrated.

treat her like a lady vs treat her like a who.re
 

sam3083

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"Birds of a feather flock together" vs "opposites attract"



Im a word geek, lol
 

penkitten

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1. a drunk man says what a sober man thinks.
2. it is what it is.
3. soap is cheap , everyone can afford to be clean.
4. a man might be the head of the family but the woman is the neck and the neck can turn the head any way she wants.
5. no use crying over spilt milk, get up and mop the floor!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bible_Belt

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man with itchy butt soon have smelly finger

I've always thought that the expression 'all things in moderation' is self-contradictory. By its own rule, it should read, 'most things in moderation.'

Also, the cliche'd expression the Lord helps those who help themselves is not actually found anywhere in the Bible.
 
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