"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

For a LTR, what do you consider damaged goods/red flags?

SamePendo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2003
Messages
2,393
Reaction score
14
Location
At home
As far as LTRs go. What, in your experience, would you label as red flags, or maybe even clear characteristic/s of a damaged good?

And, are damaged goods eternal? I mean, if you meet a chick that has a considerable amount of red flags, or is maybe a damaged good, is it ok to keep as a lit candle?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Mr. Me

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Messages
1,356
Reaction score
84
1. Playing the Martyr, Drama Queens, Attention Seekers, Selfishness, Not being flexible, Prone to Temper, Any show of disrespect, No sense of humor. And of course, low to mid interest level.

2. Some character traits may never change, especially if they're way serious and deep rooted, so why should you waste your life sticking around waiting to see if it ever changes and dealing with the consequences of being with damaged goods when you could be using your time to find and be with a more suitable partner? If they're damaged goods, it's a shame and it's too bad, but you don't want to live life being her psychiatrist and paying for the sins of others.
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,216
Reaction score
278
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
Two problems...
1. Most unsuitable woman are also consummate actresses, manipulative and decpetive, so her character flaws are usually not revealed until you are "invested"in the relationship and you have (or feel) that you have a lot to lose by bailing.
This strongly appies to personality disordered women (BPds and HPDS in particular)

2.Women in general have a huge ego investment in their infallibility and faultless actions. Any attempt by you to resolve difficulties between you which involves having her own her part in any drama will be met with counter blaming of you, side stepping and all manner of evasions on her part. The more she tries to pull this, the more unsuitable she is.
I listen to her history VERY early in the piece . If she habitually blames "the guy", then she will do so with you .
I have heard the most bizarre "switch and blame" tactics from women and all of these women are still miserable and alone with their egos..
 

darkstarrr

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 5, 2008
Messages
415
Reaction score
13
Location
Dancing with the Devil by the pale moonlight.
jophil28 said:
Two problems...
1. Most unsuitable woman are also consummate actresses, manipulative and decpetive, so her character flaws are usually not revealed until you are "invested"in the relationship and you have (or feel) that you have a lot to lose by bailing.
This strongly appies to personality disordered women (BPds and HPDS in particular)

2.Women in general have a huge ego investment in their infallibility and faultless actions. Any attempt by you to resolve difficulties between you which involves having her own her part in any drama will be met with counter blaming of you, side stepping and all manner of evasions on her part. The more she tries to pull this, the more unsuitable she is.
I listen to her history VERY early in the piece . If she habitually blames "the guy", then she will do so with you .
I have heard the most bizarre "switch and blame" tactics from women and all of these women are still miserable and alone with their egos..
:up:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

E

Energizer

Guest
My one and only girlfriend was a complete chump. The relationship sucked and lasted three months. She was sexist, her jokes became boring after two weeks, she wasn't social, always hung around with her goofy friends, text me way too much, got attached way too quickly and was frigid as hell. Got stressed out easily, couldn't cope with Uni, and became a B*tch, I dumped her with no hesitation. She made me realize what an AFC I was (and still am, but I'm getting better) and she made me realize how sh*t relationships are, so she wasn't all bad. :D
 

GuanYu

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
210
Reaction score
12
Corey said:
Mainly male friends or little friends at all
I can understand the mostly male friends part, but there's nothing wrong with a girl who doesn't have a plethora of friends. The girl may be new in the area, busy with other things or simply just doesn't want a bus load of *****s hanging around her.

In fact, if I were to be in an LTR I'd prefer my woman not to have a lot of friends. Lowers the chances substantially that she may get hurt or be coerced into doing something stupid and damage the relationship.

Usually when a chick has a lot of friends, the more likely she is to value a relationship. I know every attractive woman has options, but those that put themselves out there are always tempted.

For instance, since relationships are the most fragile in the beginning when there's nothing invested, she's more likely to let her wild side loose in the bar with her "friends" after drinking too much and simply blame whatever happens on the drinkings. The less ordinary friends she has the less that's likely to happen.

Having a few trustworthy, strong friends is a lot better then having a bunch of clueless, selfishm uncaring hangout associates IMO.
 
Top