"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Food or Party?

B

BrotherAP

Master Don Juan
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Well fellows, although I don't often come to you for advice, I've come to a decision that is simply too difficult for me to make alone.

You see, due to a mishap with my check card, I won't have access to my bank account until monday. In my pocket I have a $5 bill. I've been craving Burger King all day long, which although I know is not good for me, is extremely tasty. I haven't had fast food in over a month, so I figured I treat myself to a Whopper because those will always be my favorite. But, all of a sudden I realize that if I spend my last $5 on a meal, then I won't have any money to go out tonight and celebrate Cinco de Mayo, which is a big party night down here this close to Mexico. So, in short, I can't decide between having a tasy burger, or saving my money for going out tonight. The decision is riveting!

What would you do?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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BrotherAP

Master Don Juan
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I just finished my whopper, and I must say I'm satisfied with my choice. Good idea, DJD, I'll use the old standby "Oops I left my wallet in my other pants. I'll pay you back" standby.

If I hadn't spent it, 5 bucks is plenty enough to get into a club with, and once in I'll just get a few chickadees to buy me some drinks and my night is made. Tonight it's cheap mexican beer and tequila at the local mexican food place, cover $5 (which I no longer have).
 
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