fonz's bootcamp journal

[thefonz]

Inspired by recent events in my life I've decided to start the djbootcamp......i've been here since october but I always found excuses to say I don't need to do the bootcamp, or "nows not the time..." I don't give an f anymore.......today I had to give an oral report that I was totally unprepared for and was FREAKING OUT about speaking to 50 people......my mind was an absolute wreck the whole 24 hours before and the anxiety got progressvely worse and worse (I threw up that morning cus my stomach wa in such a knot) but somehow by using positive reinforcement I fought off all my negative thoughts through shear bravery and boldness and even come close to fainting right before I went on. I went up the front of the class and gave a hell of a report getting a 95 on my material....I kept myself mostly composed and I am still in awe of how I managed to push myself to the edge, fighting every fiber in my body that just wanted to blow off this class and take the 10% drop in my final grade. I told myself I would do it and I did it.

Regardless, I now want to push my fears to the limit and go places I never thought I could.....I'm ready to accept whatever will come out of this experience, I have a buzz right now that I just don't want to stop...this is my destiny, my mantra, "I can and I will."......I'll begin on Thursday like the bible recommends. Feel free to join. Keep you posted....

 

[Toohot4upilot]

I hear you man, and I myself will be starting the boot camp soon. Add me on msn [email protected]

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

remember these words my friend,

I AM THE MAN.

Thats all you need to know.

 

[Ever onward]

hey fonz,

Your from Boston right? Have you ever been to a Rapid Social Impact seminar?

The reason I ask is because I am thinking about going through bootcamp with those guys.

I know you've mentioned Woodhaven and Dimitri in some of your posts. What do you really think about those guys? Let me know even if you only know them by their posts.

As for your speech, great job. I know when I took speech class last fall I felt unbreakable and had great success with the DJ Bootcamp.

cheers

 

[thefonz]

I'll keep in touch toohot

Ever, I'm from Lowell, MA.....I just say boston cus it's easier to recognize on a national level, I never heard of that seminar thing.....don't remember woodhaven but I remember Dimitri, didn't nessecarily agree with all he was saying but he sounded intelligent and open-minded so for that I definitly respect the guy.

Lemme give a quick background for you guys (don't comfort me, thats not why i'm doing this), I'm 22 and ever since my last one-itis a year ago I've become increasingly isolated....I have these dj techniques and methods down to a T but I cannot act on ANY of them because of this anxious isolated nature I've let myself fall into since I was a teenager (even as a child I was lonely) Father died when I was 3 and my mother worked all day which left me with LOTS of time for myself. I was never really pushed as a kid (besides from other bullies) I was real skinny so I've developed a sort of passive nature that I hope to be rid of with this bootcamp. Girls are only a portion of what I hope to achieve in this endevour. I want to be able to say what I please and do what I please while all the while not succombing to my fears in the situation. The fear will always be there, I know this. I want to teach myself to act in spite of it. I've been on meds for my anxiety in the past but it only works if you take them FOREVER.....F*** that, why don't I just get drunk all the time. I want to force the fear out with brute strength. Thats why i'm posting, I need your help. If I start to slag or make excuses LET ME KNOW IT in a constructive manner. I don't want to make this too long so i'll end here. I"m in the middle of day 1, keep you posted

 

[Lost In Translation]

if you need somewhere to chat to other DJs you should try

DJ Chatroom on mIRC

/server polaris.starchat.net

/join #donjuan

live chat room for djs

 

[thefonz]

Week 1 Day 1

Alright......today was one of those days I just didn't wanna get out of bed, again. I really wasn't looking forward to approaching at all but I'm commited to this and i'm gonna do it. The whole point of this is to take me WAY out of my comfort zone. There's gonna be lots a days I don't wanna do these things, I'm conditioning my ass to do it regardless. Here's my tally and I WILL do better tomorrow.

Greetings: 6
Waves: 4


Number would have been much higher if I just coulda got alot of people walking by me to actually LOOK at me. I didn't count store employees and people i said hi to and followed up with a question, it's not awkward to ask someone a question after hi, I can do that now. I wanna push it. I also didn't count people who I looked at and greeted me first, I must initiate.

I started off taking a detour walk across the Lowell Park. I saw a couple walking towards me so I just said "What's up guys?" (I'm more comfortable giving out phrases than just saying 'hello') the guy was a little uncomfortable with it but the chick seemed pleased and they both replied 'hi'. Awesome, I got the ball rolling. Also saw some Puerto Rican guy and shot him 'hi' and uncomfortably gave one back. Probably the more memorable one was some older undergrad lady who I said hi to and she just stared at me like she discovered the guy who raped her mother. I counted that one even though the biotch was too good to reply to someone she didn't know. Then there was some students and so forth.

Not bad considering I've never done this before, but improving is essential.

Things to work on: I'm having trouble getting a smile going since it is in my nature (or habitition) to tense up my face when i see someone coming. I need to try doing some cute chicks and some intimidating guys. My voice needs more power too, gonna read Finger's post. And in my effort to become more social I'm worried I may be turning into a bit of a pushover, when a dude in the gym approached me about a bar I just instinctivly went, "Sure, It's all yours." He kinda sensed the desperation and I immediatly was disgusted at my yielding to a big dude. I dunno, I wasn't thinking, I usually don't do that, but this is all so new to me.

keep you posted

More to come

 

[thefonz]

Week 1 Day 4

What can I say right now.......I'm having major problems already

Ok, on Day 2 I had to study all day for a Anatomy Final so I got 1 hi all day from a kid I saw while walking to campus. I really didn't walk by many people cus I was in the library all day and I went home to go to bed early in preperation. Sorry but I needed to keep myself focused on this exam. I didn't even got to the gym this day and I go everyday.

Day 3: The day of the final I spent the whole morning studying until I took the final at 3 feeling like crap afterwards cus it was REALLY hard in my opinion. So i went for a walk to downtown Lowell to get my exercise in but I had to walk through the 'hood to get there. I don't know how many of you live in the ghetto but alot of people don't wanna make eye contact with people walking down the street. This was a problem for me. I was feeling pretty good after alittle while but couldn't get much contact. I dunno man. I got one hi from some foreign dude, another hi from a kid my age and a hi from some little kid i stopped to help (which took me out my comfort zone so i counted it)

Day 4: Which brings me to the awefulness of today. I pretty much drank myself stupid last night cus the 'party' i was hoping to hang out at ended up being 8 people with a mixure of my friends and 2 girlfriends. 1 was dull as hell. Anyway, Long story short, I woke up today feeling like crap. Today was rainy and ****ty so I couldn't walk the streets like I prefer to do. I went to the mall to try and do hi's but bailed at every oppurtunity. I left with NONE. So I went to Wal-Mart to try to do some.......left with NONE. It was a serious damper in my progress. Everytime I fail like this I feel like I'm having to start all over again. It's as if the progress I've made meant nothing. Then I went to the gym and had a $hitty workout because of it. I make alot of eye contact during all of this but my problem is actually OPENING MY MOUTH. I'm a quiet kid by nature, I can make eye contact but if someone were to say something to me I'd fumble my words and get all down afterwards. ......So I got 2 hi's when I went back to Wal-Fart after the gym. 1 was an older man with his kid and the other was some Indian guy. Both were meant to help me get the ball rolling but I just couldn't shake my doubts and collect my "presentation-self"

Total Hi's: 12

And in case you haven't noticed by now YES, I am having problems say hi to attractive girls + girls in my age range. I don't like doing old people anymore cus in a sense it's a guareented hi and if I do it too much it will skew my results and leave me unprepared for next wekk. I really gotta focus more. I"m pissed I got so drunk last night and lowered alertness. Another problem I have is when I do get myself "In the zone" I have a tendency to settle with only a few hi's thinking "This is good, I finally got into my state.....but I don't wanna push myself too far otherwise I might loose this" I dunno guys, I need 38 more hi's in the next 3 days. I'm gonna get some rest and regroup. Something has to change, any advice?