Follow up to initial dating site feedback?

[louis]

Hello all,

I've had some success with contacting women through online dating sites. I've sent out some short, fun messages, and got quite a good response back.

I reckon I've had between 20 to 30 replies. Most of these were now around 2-3 weeks ago (before Christmas). I have got one date so far. In nearly every other case, I replied back, but haven't heard from these women again. The general tone of the replies was that it had been fun reading my message and I had made them laugh. About one in three said they didn't think we were suited, and the other two-thirds were interested in finding out more about me (I've put my photo online, so my looks were obviously acceptable).

The question is, how should I maximise the chances of getting a date (say a 'coffee date') with these other women, before they forget me.

I thought of sending a short message ending with an invitation to coffee.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

 

[Walden]

Originally posted by louis
I thought of sending a short message ending with an invitation to coffee.

Of course , what else would you do?

 

[mateo_g]

Some of the same rules apply I'd venture, for online dating. Many don't like it, but in your case and in the case of many older gents, its a great way to meet people.

You've done well by being witty and not over doing it. Short and to the point, just like a phone call, for the reply. In fact try to get her # and do the setup on the phone.

Set up a time, date, and location for a meeting somewhere inbetween your respective locals of your own accord - she'll let you know if the time isn't good, by making a counter offer. Don't go into any other details really, save the charm for in person. Women like to peel the layers off of you slowly to know you - so don't peel any for her in your greeting letters.

Then again these rules are well known and useful for phone calls (time, date, place, get off asap).

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It sounds as if they were just letting you know that your profile amused them and not much more. Not knowing what it says I can only speculate that it was very funny but did not make them feel comfortable for anything serious. I suggest keeping the overall tone since it attracts them but tone back and show a little more mystery so that they will want to find out more about you, perhaps over coffee.

 

[louis]

Hello again,

Thanks for those suggestions.

I've emailed a shortlist of 7 of those who replied earlier, inviting them to coffeee, and one has already replied saying yes. I'll ask for their phone numbers so that we can arrange coffee.

At the same time, I've had 2 new approaches from women responding to my ad.

 

[The Dominated1]

Those ones that said we may not suit each other.

This is a "test"

I mean why would they reply at all?

Go to work DJ

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by louis
Hello again,

Thanks for those suggestions.

I've emailed a shortlist of 7 of those who replied earlier, inviting them to coffeee, and one has already replied saying yes. I'll ask for their phone numbers so that we can arrange coffee.

At the same time, I've had 2 new approaches from women responding to my ad.

Suggestion: Consider NOT getting the phone number until AFTER you meet them for coffee. A lot of people profess that getting a telephone number is a method of checking a woman's IL. This is true but I have found that a more sure fire way to tell is whether or not she agrees to meet for something as simple as coffee.

During the meeting you can easily tell whether there is mutual chemistry, getting the phone number then is a certain sign of a high IL. Also, some guys have a problem with telephone calls even if they should only be used to set up meetings.

In a nutshell, if there is sign of interest through an online chat or email, just go 'balls to the wall' and set up a meeting and fore go the extra step of getting her phone number.

 

[louis]

Originally posted by The Dominated1
Those ones that said we may not suit each other.

This is a "test"

I mean why would they reply at all?

Go to work DJ

Hi TD,

Good point, perhaps I'll invite them for a coffee anyway!