"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

folks want me to date-late late bloomer having a hard time now

joe45

Senior Don Juan
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Well this week my cousin who is in his mid 30's will be getting married. Yaayy free food. hehe
Well that when aunts, uncles from my mom's side will be bothering me as to why i don't have a gf . i'm in my mid 20's. funny thing is growing up they never cared about dating, and girls-but school, school, marks and staying at home on a friday night, and all day weekends. school was like number one to them. this carried on from elementary to college. As a whole i never went out with friends, had any friends to hang out with, or even any friends at school-this was on fri , sat, sun and even summer, spring breaks. just stayed at home and used the computer, watched tv and studied. unforuntately academics wasn't my thing. i went to community college instead and obtained a diploma. i was a complete loner. yup yup.

now back to today. aunts, uncles come in to visist us today. And guess what they ask -"why Joe , don't you have a gf" . later in the day and weeks past i guess the aunts , uncles tell my mom -as to that Joe needs to date and have a gf.
Now my mom tells me as to go start dating, finding a gf, and how married life is way better than single life.

In my mind i'm like ah so now you tell me hey. You can't just tell me to change and go get a gf. Its hard when your sheltered, lived a anti social life, wasn't given the social skills growing up to go get a date and also go get a gf. I can't change overnight. Its like b/c most of my cousins are getting married, they ask when i will marry. lol i like a guy in his mid 20's with like 13 year old dating and yes no gf experience. lol marriage.

some guys can get girls very easily b/c they have experience and start dating at 17 or what not. i started at 24 and i met all of em off the internet-myspace, plentyoffish. they all didn't last at all-3 dates on average.

man that just ticks me off. its like overnight to go and change. I mean even if i do find a girl, my folks would criticize her if she didn't speak cantonese(what we speakl), if its not that its something else. why don;t do go get a honger girl, then i do get one, its why don't u go get a cbc girl. then its shes too young , a little too old. i now them its always something wrong with something with em and ppl.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Mental

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2006
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232
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Michigan
joe45 said:
Well this week my cousin who is in his mid 30's will be getting married. Yaayy free food. hehe
Well that when aunts, uncles from my mom's side will be bothering me as to why i don't have a gf . i'm in my mid 20's. funny thing is growing up they never cared about dating, and girls-but school, school, marks and staying at home on a friday night, and all day weekends. school was like number one to them. this carried on from elementary to college. As a whole i never went out with friends, had any friends to hang out with, or even any friends at school-this was on fri , sat, sun and even summer, spring breaks. just stayed at home and used the computer, watched tv and studied. unforuntately academics wasn't my thing. i went to community college instead and obtained a diploma. i was a complete loner. yup yup.

now back to today. aunts, uncles come in to visist us today. And guess what they ask -"why Joe , don't you have a gf" . later in the day and weeks past i guess the aunts , uncles tell my mom -as to that Joe needs to date and have a gf.
Now my mom tells me as to go start dating, finding a gf, and how married life is way better than single life.

In my mind i'm like ah so now you tell me hey. You can't just tell me to change and go get a gf. Its hard when your sheltered, lived a anti social life, wasn't given the social skills growing up to go get a date and also go get a gf. I can't change overnight. Its like b/c most of my cousins are getting married, they ask when i will marry. lol i like a guy in his mid 20's with like 13 year old dating and yes no gf experience. lol marriage.

some guys can get girls very easily b/c they have experience and start dating at 17 or what not. i started at 24 and i met all of em off the internet-myspace, plentyoffish. they all didn't last at all-3 dates on average.

man that just ticks me off. its like overnight to go and change. I mean even if i do find a girl, my folks would criticize her if she didn't speak cantonese(what we speakl), if its not that its something else. why don;t do go get a honger girl, then i do get one, its why don't u go get a cbc girl. then its shes too young , a little too old. i now them its always something wrong with something with em and ppl.
How do you say the old saying: "I can only please one person per day. Today doesn't look good for you. Tommorrow doesn't look good for you, either" in Cantonese?

I think you're starting to realize that you can never make EVERYONE happy. If you spend your life doing everything to please your family, then you run a very high risk of not being happy yourself.

You're a man. You're whole life should not be summed up in any one woman. A woman should not be the ultimate goal the whole time.

If you find a woman, and she's spectacular, but she doesn't currently speak Cantonese, then you might consider keeping her... forget what your family demands.

You've got to strike a happy balance between yourself being happy, what society asks of you, and your family being happy; which isn't always easy.

I think they want you to be happy. According to this post, they're very misguided in how they're handling it; but I still think they want happiness and success for you. And sometimes that will take time.

Ask them if they want you really too marry some kind of abusive woman, or some drug dealer, over you looking for the right woman...

These things take time. Just make sure you aren't always sitting watching TV all the time. DO go out there and have fun, because it''s a good way to learn.

Good luck.
 

spider_007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
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ontario
Typical old school, non American family.....yea I’m starting to get the same thing.

Did you at least finish school, and do something good on that end.....
 

LA_Chico

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
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365
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Location
Los Angeles baby!
yea bro, what do you do for a living?
 

PersonalJesus

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2005
Messages
82
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0
Age
35
Sometimes you gotta do what you want even if it means dissappointing your parents. Who you living for?

But if you're just watching t.v. at home; get out there
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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