SparkleMotion
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2004
- Messages
- 188
- Reaction score
- 1
- Age
- 69
*Obviously changed the person’s IM handle for their privacy*
DISCLAIMER: In no way is this meant to make anyone feel bad. It was simply a spark that inspired me to write this post. What this person said didn’t offend me, because what do I care what someone said on the Internet. Rather I thought it expressed an attitude that I thinks needs to be squelched early on in anyone who wants to be successful with women, so I made a post to bring the topic to the community as whole.
Anonymous (2:36:35 PM): is that you with the mohawk?
SparkleMotion240 (2:37:05 PM): haha, yeah about 4 years ago
Anonymous (2:37:08 PM): haha
Anonymous (2:37:13 PM): you dont have it anymore right?
SparkleMotion240 (2:37:26 PM): not anymore
Anonymous (2:37:30 PM): good
Seriously, this is not the attitude to have.
Why would you come to someone seeking advice, then belittle their personal choices/style?
But it brings up the point I’ve been meaning to write about. I know that it’s been brought up countless times and probably beaten to death.
BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO PICK UP LADIES, FOCUS ON YOURSELF!
You are going to get nowhere with women if you are still insecure. Sure you might pull a few fools-mates but that’s not really being a PUA/DJ, it’s just blind luck.
If you want to continually be successful with women and in socializing as a whole, you need to be secure. Mocking someone for a personal choice that you think is “stupid” is extremely insecure. Anyone woman who is willing to date a man of that caliber is also extremely insecure. And if you have done any reading (aka DAFS) you will know that insecure women are not the type of women you want to be associating with, they are basket cases who will only make your life way too complicated.
A secure person is not in anyway threatened by someone who is different.
Only insecure people care about what others are doing, because they spend all their time caring about what others think of them.
A secure person will not condemn someone (unless their behavior is unacceptable, e.g. stealing) for acting in a way that they think is “stupid”. Why? Because they don’t spend their time wondering what is “stupid” and what is “cool”. Why? Because they don’t care what other people think.
One of my best friends walks around in designer jeans, fancy shirts, and a HUGE handlebar mustache. And people stare at him all the time. But he doesn’t even notice people staring at him. Why? Because he is secure and doesn’t care what people think of his style choice AND you will never see him making fun of someone’s personal style choices.
The woman that are actually worthy of your time, are not going to be interested in you talking about how “stupid” something is. Women do not like negativity. Even if it’s not directed at them.
Alpha males do not lead by judging people and telling them how they can conform to their personal tastes. They lead by encouraging people in their pursuits of their own goals, such as encouraging other people to express themselves however that person wants.
Yes, if you haven’t picked up on it yet. This all can be intertwined with the mantra, “Building an exciting, happy, fun lifestyle is what gets you women. It’s not the women who give you an exciting, happy, fun lifestyle”.
You are the only person who can make sure you are happy and enjoying life. So stop being spiteful towards others who are willing to display themselves in public.
I also see this a lot in AFCs who try to pick up chicks at bars. They will go up to an HB, hit on her, fail miserably, and then go back to their friends. Either two things will happen (and most often both happen), the AFC will immediately start talking about what a ***** that HB was and his other AFC friends will start mocking him for going up and trying. Both are behaviors/attitudes that are non-existent in a confident and secure alpha male.
How do I know all these things? Because I was once a bitter insecure AFC.
Am I claiming to be some PUA/DJ god? No, I’m not. I don’t get laid every time I go out, hell I’m not even getting laid on a weekly basis yet. But I can assure that every time I go out, I enjoy myself and have a good time. And simply enjoying myself and being positive, especially towards others, has greatly increased my success with women. Trust me, once you go from not being able to talk to women to being able to talk to them without any self-defeating thoughts going through your head (because you are no longer judgmental), you have made a huge leap forward.
My point to all this? Before you try to refine your PUA/DJ skills towards picking up ONSs, FBs, STRs, LTRs, GFs, MLTRs; focus on yourself. Before trying to pick up ladies, build a life in which you are happy. In no way does this mean that you shouldn’t study and practice PUA/DJ techniques, cause you should always be studying and practicing them, but first focus on being a fully confident, secure alpha male. I am simply saying, focus on trying to become a strong, confident, secure alpha male before you try to become a PUA/DJ god. For if you do, the PUA/DJ will come with much ease.
[/end rant]
DISCLAIMER: In no way is this meant to make anyone feel bad. It was simply a spark that inspired me to write this post. What this person said didn’t offend me, because what do I care what someone said on the Internet. Rather I thought it expressed an attitude that I thinks needs to be squelched early on in anyone who wants to be successful with women, so I made a post to bring the topic to the community as whole.
Anonymous (2:36:35 PM): is that you with the mohawk?
SparkleMotion240 (2:37:05 PM): haha, yeah about 4 years ago
Anonymous (2:37:08 PM): haha
Anonymous (2:37:13 PM): you dont have it anymore right?
SparkleMotion240 (2:37:26 PM): not anymore
Anonymous (2:37:30 PM): good
Seriously, this is not the attitude to have.
Why would you come to someone seeking advice, then belittle their personal choices/style?
But it brings up the point I’ve been meaning to write about. I know that it’s been brought up countless times and probably beaten to death.
BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO PICK UP LADIES, FOCUS ON YOURSELF!
You are going to get nowhere with women if you are still insecure. Sure you might pull a few fools-mates but that’s not really being a PUA/DJ, it’s just blind luck.
If you want to continually be successful with women and in socializing as a whole, you need to be secure. Mocking someone for a personal choice that you think is “stupid” is extremely insecure. Anyone woman who is willing to date a man of that caliber is also extremely insecure. And if you have done any reading (aka DAFS) you will know that insecure women are not the type of women you want to be associating with, they are basket cases who will only make your life way too complicated.
A secure person is not in anyway threatened by someone who is different.
Only insecure people care about what others are doing, because they spend all their time caring about what others think of them.
A secure person will not condemn someone (unless their behavior is unacceptable, e.g. stealing) for acting in a way that they think is “stupid”. Why? Because they don’t spend their time wondering what is “stupid” and what is “cool”. Why? Because they don’t care what other people think.
One of my best friends walks around in designer jeans, fancy shirts, and a HUGE handlebar mustache. And people stare at him all the time. But he doesn’t even notice people staring at him. Why? Because he is secure and doesn’t care what people think of his style choice AND you will never see him making fun of someone’s personal style choices.
The woman that are actually worthy of your time, are not going to be interested in you talking about how “stupid” something is. Women do not like negativity. Even if it’s not directed at them.
Alpha males do not lead by judging people and telling them how they can conform to their personal tastes. They lead by encouraging people in their pursuits of their own goals, such as encouraging other people to express themselves however that person wants.
Yes, if you haven’t picked up on it yet. This all can be intertwined with the mantra, “Building an exciting, happy, fun lifestyle is what gets you women. It’s not the women who give you an exciting, happy, fun lifestyle”.
You are the only person who can make sure you are happy and enjoying life. So stop being spiteful towards others who are willing to display themselves in public.
I also see this a lot in AFCs who try to pick up chicks at bars. They will go up to an HB, hit on her, fail miserably, and then go back to their friends. Either two things will happen (and most often both happen), the AFC will immediately start talking about what a ***** that HB was and his other AFC friends will start mocking him for going up and trying. Both are behaviors/attitudes that are non-existent in a confident and secure alpha male.
How do I know all these things? Because I was once a bitter insecure AFC.
Am I claiming to be some PUA/DJ god? No, I’m not. I don’t get laid every time I go out, hell I’m not even getting laid on a weekly basis yet. But I can assure that every time I go out, I enjoy myself and have a good time. And simply enjoying myself and being positive, especially towards others, has greatly increased my success with women. Trust me, once you go from not being able to talk to women to being able to talk to them without any self-defeating thoughts going through your head (because you are no longer judgmental), you have made a huge leap forward.
My point to all this? Before you try to refine your PUA/DJ skills towards picking up ONSs, FBs, STRs, LTRs, GFs, MLTRs; focus on yourself. Before trying to pick up ladies, build a life in which you are happy. In no way does this mean that you shouldn’t study and practice PUA/DJ techniques, cause you should always be studying and practicing them, but first focus on being a fully confident, secure alpha male. I am simply saying, focus on trying to become a strong, confident, secure alpha male before you try to become a PUA/DJ god. For if you do, the PUA/DJ will come with much ease.
[/end rant]
