Flying solo: It was OK

[WestCoaster]

Well, I still suck at the bar scene but it was fun to go out. Lots of people walking around downtown, good hot dog/sausages being grilled by sidewalk vendors, some OK live music (far from great, I'm selective in that area), and some decent (not great) women.

First bar I went to said sports bar so I went in (I love sports). It was more of a hippie bar with a jam band playing really long Grateful Dead songs and people dancing real poorly. Talked basketball with a guy, not many people there at first, about 25 guys, 6 women (typical Northwest ratio). After my fine-tasting microbrew, I headed another place.

This was full of more age appropriate stuff, small-talked a little with some women, but nothing special and no one I was interested in. A bunch of Nebraskans took over the bar and they were playing the Nebraska fight song. Most of the women looked hagged out and out of shape ... but thinking they were cool (another Northwest trait). Tons of people, but you could find better women in a coffee shop to be honest.

Talked basketball again as I ran into the assistant hoop coach at the university in which I work ... maybe I just should've gotten together with guys and talked hoop.

Went to another place, kind of a dive, nothing great. Nothing happened.

Went back to the initial bar and it had picked up significantly. I didn't find the women that impressive ... man this board has altered my thinking. I'm just not into overly tatooed (or any tatooes) women, who where mid-rifs and shouldn't be wearing mid-rifs, and who think their sh-t doesn't stink. Another amazing thing that was prevelant: The constant AFCing of men in bars. Women TOTALLY call the shots and these AFCs are clamoring for women I wouldn't even think asking out. Slu-ty, cheap, too much make-up, and out of shape are not qualities I'm looking for.

Chatted up a waitress whom I actually advised on campus, luckily I wasn't drunk and didn't make an a$$ out of myself.

FINALLY saw a great woman near the end of the night who intrigued me. Half-black gal who dressed classy even in jeans and didn't load on the make-up. Had a small opportunity to meet her as her friend got drinks, but didn't move on it. Still out of practice. She carried herself well, nice smile, posture, good clothes, nice hair ... and all the dumb honkeys in the Northwest are zeroing in on the cheap white sl-ts. Morons.

Also, tired of stupid white women getting in touch with their inner lesbo as they grab their equally ugly white friend to go dancing on the dance floor. And even when guys ask them to dance, they look for women to dance with? WTF? Be a WOMAN please. No wonder guys don't ask women to dance anymore, they're all dumb dykes.

No digits, pickups, or anything. Only one gal looked good to me to be honest. Yeah, there was eye candy out there, but I'm looking for class -- that would be 10 out of 100 American women.

But it was great to survey the scene. Would've done better with a wingman.

* Player Supreme's eye contact game works, though I obviously didn't get as far as him, but I didn't back down first on eye contact all night and got some nice smiles. Again, that post should be in the DJ Bible.

** Got a pretty good buzz on that I couldn't shake, and I didn't even drink that much. Ate food, waited, then decided to drive home -- luckily I don't live far and I was in driving shape. Freakin' cops ALL over, I took obscure back streets home and I STILL saw a cop. Lucikly I was OK. Like I said, I needed a wingman.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

bro..

it sounds like you're starting to get into a "I'm better than the Rest" attitude.

This woman isn't cute enough..so I wont talk to her.
This woman doesn't have long enough hair..so I wont talk to her.
This woman doesn't have short enough hair..so I wont talk to her
This woman seems to be too americanized..so I wont talk to her.
This woman has ugly shoes..so I wont talk to her.
This woman has too much make up on..so I wont talk to her.
This woman doesnt have enough make up on..so I wont talk to her.

Starting to see a pattern here? So what happens when you finally meet that woman worthy of WESTCOASTER -- you wont be able to do anything with her because you haven't learned or tried with anyone else. I've seen a lot of DJs on this site have FRs where they just figured they didnt PU or get digits because the women aren't worthy of them.

There are different levels of success...and if you dont do anything..you've failed.

I guess the success here is that you went out and got situated in the bar scene. Next time, chat it up. Chat it up with everyone. Dykes, HBs, Men, Women, Employees, regulars..just have fun and dont judge the other idiots around you.

I live in the NW too and to say the scene here sucks is faulty. There are plenty of women, as well as foreign women that you desire, all over Vancouver, Seattle, Portland..etc.

Don't get into a cycle where no woman is worthy of you..because when you actually do find her...do you really think you will be a polished DJ if you never have tried before?

 

[WestCoaster]

Oh, I'll talk to just about anyone, I just won't get interested in anyone.

What do you mean haven't tried with anyone else? I've dated a lot of women of all different races, ages, professions, and so forth in my life, probably triple of what you've dated.

You exagerrated my experience, talking about length of hair and so forth. I never said that.

Why waste time in life? If you see a dumb lesbo-wanna-be-tattoo-freak, why not just meet someone who isn't like that. I'm not into wasting time, I've done enough of that my whole life.

You can usually assess what's going on out there pretty quickly in a bar in who you want and don't want to meet. I did chat up a few people last night, but going the extra step will take someone unique for me. Sorry my AFC days are LONG gone and unlike 99.9 percent of American men out there, I won't just settle for anything.

You generalized and made assumptions WAY too much on my post. You weren't even in the ballpark from my experience last night, not even close. I chatted up and met a lot of people.

DJs don't assume, they listen and assess.

 

[Omega]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
bro..

it sounds like you're starting to get into a "I'm better than the Rest" attitude.

This woman isn't cute enough..so I wont talk to her.
This woman doesn't have long enough hair..so I wont talk to her.
This woman doesn't have short enough hair..so I wont talk to her
This woman seems to be too americanized..so I wont talk to her.
This woman has ugly shoes..so I wont talk to her.
This woman has too much make up on..so I wont talk to her.
This woman doesnt have enough make up on..so I wont talk to her.

Starting to see a pattern here? So what happens when you finally meet that woman worthy of WESTCOASTER -- you wont be able to do anything with her because you haven't learned or tried with anyone else. I've seen a lot of DJs on this site have FRs where they just figured they didnt PU or get digits because the women aren't worthy of them.

There are different levels of success...and if you dont do anything..you've failed.

I guess the success here is that you went out and got situated in the bar scene. Next time, chat it up. Chat it up with everyone. Dykes, HBs, Men, Women, Employees, regulars..just have fun and dont judge the other idiots around you.

I live in the NW too and to say the scene here sucks is faulty. There are plenty of women, as well as foreign women that you desire, all over Vancouver, Seattle, Portland..etc.

Don't get into a cycle where no woman is worthy of you..because when you actually do find her...do you really think you will be a polished DJ if you never have tried before?

So true

 

[WestCoaster]

So not true

How would he know what went down and what didn't go down? I said that I chatted up a lot of people and met quite a few. Why even post field reports here if everyone makes snap judgements and doesn't read what one wrote.

Since when do DJs not have standards? Anyone can date a cheap American wh-re, that's the easy part. Finding someone classy is the tough part. Most guys you see out there are dating way below their levels and marrying way below their levels.

If you think ugly, cheap women are something to meet, greet, date, and sleep with, you will end up with an ugly, cheap woman as your gf or worse, your wife (saw lots of that shopping today).

Who said I was in Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, anyway? I wasn't in any of those cities. I'm in a VERY white city.

See, talk about making assumptions.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Oh, I'll talk to just about anyone, I just won't get interested in anyone.

What do you mean haven't tried with anyone else? I've dated a lot of women of all different races, ages, professions, and so forth in my life, probably triple of what you've dated.

You exagerrated my experience, talking about length of hair and so forth. I never said that.

Why waste time in life? If you see a dumb lesbo-wanna-be-tattoo-freak, why not just meet someone who isn't like that. I'm not into wasting time, I've done enough of that my whole life.

You can usually assess what's going on out there pretty quickly in a bar in who you want and don't want to meet. I did chat up a few people last night, but going the extra step will take someone unique for me. Sorry my AFC days are LONG gone and unlike 99.9 percent of American men out there, I won't just settle for anything.

You generalized and made assumptions WAY too much on my post. You weren't even in the ballpark from my experience last night, not even close. I chatted up and met a lot of people.

DJs don't assume, they listen and assess.

listen and assess...we've been on the site about the same time..and like myself, I'm sure you lurked around this site a few months before starting to post.

I've read your stuff in the past WESTCOASTER, and I've read your recent stuff.

Listen? All I hear is the moanings of a guy that doesnt see marriage, that wants to marry foreign women, a guy who is upset with himself that he wasted most of his youth being an AFC, and now has a HOLYER THAN THO attitude. Yea, I've read somewhere here that you are in your 40's (or maybe 50's) and have a been there done that attitude. Here's a cookie as your prize. I can go off tangent right now with you feeling you've dated triple the type of women I've dated - please - I'm sure like yourself, I hold two college degrees, own my own home, not married, have 3 rental properties, and have dated all cultures and all professions...from pre-med students, lawyers, waitresses, ect. I'm not a 15 year old kid dispensing garbage. This site is like a salad bar...take what you like..leave the rest.

Assess? I wasnt trying to single you out WESTCOASTER. All I was doing was generallizing the attitude of many DJs on this site. And, I'm not alone with this. Too many of the DJs get on this "MY BALLS ARE BIGGER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S...and THIS WOMAN ISN'T WORTHY" trip that they start thinking NO WOMAN is worthy.

They get into a downward spiral and start knit picking everything until they are ultimately right - NO WOMAN IS WORTHY. Now you are alone with your computer, your SS website, your snares, patterns, traps, etc - all for what?

If you felt like you were being singled out...sorry...but, I never said to settle. All I said is to open your field of view and dont pedistal yourself. When other DJs I've seen here begin to do that, they stop trying to DJ/PU and blame all the other women out there for not being good enough - when in reality..the DJ was just lazy.

But hey...what the hell do I know right?? In your view...YOU ALREADY have all the answers. Why even sound off here when its obvious (in many of the threads you respond to), you dont take constructive critism anyway?

Who knows, maybe in the past you didnt like croutons in your salad - why not listen and assess my comments before passing up on those croutons.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Re: So not true

Originally posted by WestCoaster
How would he know what went down and what didn't go down? I said that I chatted up a lot of people and met quite a few. Why even post field reports here if everyone makes snap judgements and doesn't read what one wrote.

Since when do DJs not have standards? Anyone can date a cheap American wh-re, that's the easy part. Finding someone classy is the tough part. Most guys you see out there are dating way below their levels and marrying way below their levels.

If you think ugly, cheap women are something to meet, greet, date, and sleep with, you will end up with an ugly, cheap woman as your gf or worse, your wife (saw lots of that shopping today).

Who said I was in Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, anyway? I wasn't in any of those cities. I'm in a VERY white city.

See, talk about making assumptions.

Forget it POPs...its obvious that you're bitter here. Assumtions? You're making the assumptions here West.

Don't for a second assume I'm here dating ugly, cheap women or sleeping with whatever has t*ts and a p*ssy But, you're on this DJ trip thing too hard and are taking yourself WAY too seriously.

If you read my response to your other thread regarding you going for a night out - my main objective was never for you to have successful PU. All this whole response is about not putting yourself on a pedistal and opening yourself to new ideas and thoughts.

You can only do this by meeting new people - opening up to new experiences - becoming comfortable in that type of environment. If you assumed that meant to marry or bag a lesbian dyke doggish ugly b*tch - the YOU werent the one who was listening or assessing -- I think your huge man b*lls got in the way.

As I type this, its obvious I'll be wasting my time like soooooooooo many other people who reply and try to have a differen opinion than yours. You're ridgid and one dimensional WEST - reminds me of anti-dump who was SOOOOO PRO-MALE that for a while I wondered if he even liked women at all...

Since I'm making SOOOO many assumptions (insert sarcasm here) - maybe you've been playing for the wrong team? Maybe you need a man as strong as YOURSELF? In all honesty..after reading your views on american women, marriage, and the such..I'm surprised that you even tried to go out to a bar/club to PU women.

Whatever floats your boat WEST, hell you have 675 million posts...I'm sure us "young folk" have no advice to offer a pro such as yourself.

 

[WestCoaster]

Hey Hyp, one post is enough ...

... chill brother, wow you are VERY uptight. I get the point, one post is enough. Wow, talk about blowing a gasket, most guys here just post one short response, not two lengthy diatribes back to back.

Lighten up dude, have one of those many lattes up there in beautiful Seattle ... but make sure you put ice on it to CHILL.

Lighten up!

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

4am and i'm just getting back from the clubs...yea..seattle is very lovely and filled with alcoholic goodness...yes yes...i am CHILL...and dont mind my double posting...I'm just trying pad my post count so I can look cool like everyone else **insert big cheesey sarcastic grin here**

OK - bartender...this round's on me...Corona's all around..but, get this guy here Westcoaster a double shot of top shelf XO on me....he's good people..haha...**CHEERS!

 

[Bungo Pony]

I think the point of this post was Westcoaster's first night out solo, not necessarily to pick up a woman.

Solo nights take a bit to get used to. The more you do it, the better you get. The point is to go out and have fun. If an opportunity to meet a woman presents itself, then by all means go for it!

When I was just starting to go solo, there wasn't much for opportunities. After I got used to it and purely went out for fun, that's when things started happening. One was at an April Wine concert. It was my second concert solo. I was just there, getting into the music when this damn hot woman decided that it would be great to party with me. She joined in, and things went from there. This was actually one of my early number closes, and I was nervous doing it. She gave me her number immediately, gave me a kiss, and told me to call her.

I'm just not into overly tatooed (or any tatooes) women, who where mid-rifs and shouldn't be wearing mid-rifs, and who think their sh-t doesn't stink.

Nothing wrong with being picky. There's hundreds of women to choose from. Why settle for something you don't like?

Another amazing thing that was prevelant: The constant AFCing of men in bars. Women TOTALLY call the shots and these AFCs are clamoring for women I wouldn't even think asking out.

Sometimes I just love going out and watching men & women interact. Sometimes it's easy to predict what's going to happen. Woman yells at man. Woman starts walking away. Man runs up to her. She turns around. Man puts his hands on her shoulders and apologizes profusely. They go home. He seems relieved. She's still pissed off.

Also, tired of stupid white women getting in touch with their inner lesbo as they grab their equally ugly white friend to go dancing on the dance floor.

There's a reason for this. Women have trouble finding men who want to dance, and men who have the balls to lead a woman to the dance floor. Women love dancing, and if there's no other willing men around, they'll dance with each other. This is actually something you can learn from women; they don't give a 5hit how they look to others, they just wanna have fun.

No digits, pickups, or anything. Only one gal looked good to me to be honest. Yeah, there was eye candy out there, but I'm looking for class -- that would be 10 out of 100 American women.

This is a great opportunity to work on your number close. You don't necessarily have to call the women, just work on your skills. Just make a point to go out, chat up a woman, and get her number. Practice on ugly women if you have to. I can't stress practicing enough.

Would've done better with a wingman.

I've tried with a wingman (non-DJ). I found that wingmen bring me down to their level of AFCness. I did much better solo.

 

[chicksrock]

I wish you luck in finding the good quality HB you seek...
when you find her make sure you run good game on her!

 

[WestCoaster]

Good post Bungo

You're right Bungo, a lot of the game is to practice. For some reason I have no trouble chatting up (practicing) women in coffee shops, bookstores, big box sh-t stores, grocery store, the gym, CD store, etc., but loud music (which I don't mind) kind of throws my game off in trying to converse. Guess I should wait for the band to take a break.

Also, it's great to see what's out there and Bungo you nailed it on the AFC game in bars ... how many guys did I see run and apologize to women (who REALLY weren't worth sh-t), I lost count. It's freakin' amazing.

I might fly solo again, actually I had a good time. I kept my expectations low and I had some really good beer, though too much of it. Next time I'm walking and not taking a chance on the overly-eager cops in this town, who luckily didn't pull me over.

* HPNOTIQ, glad you're back in the land of the living. A bit surprised at the gay reference/accusation. I worked at shelter for homeless youth while in grad school and the favorite insult by 14, 15, 16 year olds was "you're gay." The 17-year olds at the shelter had outgrown it, and at the college in which I work I've never heard it yet from the students, and I listen to a lot of conversations when I walk across campus and hang out at the student union.

Honestly, I think you're above that, like WAY above that. Peace, and enjoy Seattle. I'd move there if I found employment. My two best friends and brother live there and I've never had a bad time there, ever. I've even found cool routes to avoid traffic!

 

[gentleman193]

I don't have much to add to this post except that I was in a bar Sat. with a friend over happy hour and it's a lot less crowded and noisy at this time so you can have actual convo. Drinks are cheaper, too, of course. Seemed like a more mature hour to go out.

The rooftop bars in late summer afternoon are quite nice. Also, the nicer hotel bars poolside are great, too; relaxing, not noisy. More upscale and easier to talk. You meet more professional people there rther than bar flys.

I also think it's like the airplane effect. If there's an empty seat you end up talking. If there's three of you crammed in there you all stare straight ahead the whle time. A loud packed bar on Friday at midnight is really not conducive to meeting anyone.

 

[comote]

I understand your point about the women westcoaster. I too like a woman with class. Here is a thought though, if you want a certain type of woman you should go to where those women will be hanging out.
You are much more likely to find the type of woman you are looking for in a trendy jazz club or even a trendy night club than at a sports bar. You can't say that you don't like women with tatoos and then complain when all the women at the biker bar had tatoos.
If the type of women you like are not hanging out at the types of places that you like then you have some reevaluating to do my friend. I assume you live in or near a city in the northwest? You should be able to find what you are looking for if you really want to.

 

[decades]

Dale Carnegie said try and find something you really like about everyone you meet. Even if they have tattoos. People are people whether they have sheepskin on the wall or not.

mike

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Wescoaster, your assessment of these women is correct and it sounds like you are not a desperate fool as most men out here!!!

Hors have a 'profile' and part of that profile is a tatto on her @ss with low riding pants and a high riding shirt - this reeks of "I want you to look at me and particularly my @ss" and hopefully you'll be a fool and be attracted to me!!!!! Hors think dressing like this with a shyt-load of make-up is what men desire in woman - WRONG!! Did I mention their fat no-exercise out of fitness/shape existence!!

Don't lower your standards - let women come up to yours!!!

 

[dietzcoi]

Westcoaster

I couldn't agree with your assessments more, same with PR_L.. I myself have wondered about the hos and the tatoos... don't even try to tell me girls with tats on their t1ts or lower back are virgins! I still don't understand what the attraction is for them but it is probably attention...

I was saddened to see you attacked for speaking the truth. I guess it is true that either you are out of the matrix (like we are) or you are a potential enemy. Once again my theory holds. Funny how people participate in their own enslavement...

Dietzcoi

 

[WestCoaster]

Thanks for the support

PRL and Dietzcoi, thanks for the props. Honestly, women could put a safety pin through their head (visual reference from hilarious move, "The Rutles") and American men would say, "Accept it, that's what they're doing now. You don't know what they're like inside."

Love this PRL:

* Don't lower your standards - let women come up to yours!!! *

Thank you! There appears to be something wrong with having standards these days. Does anyone think that pitcher Greg Maddux says, "I think I'll lower my standards, throw a little slower, throw straight/non-movement so I can give this .190 hitter a chance."

No! Greg Maddux throws his best stuff whether he's going against a .190 hitter or Barry Bonds! He has standards! OK, bad sports analogy there, but that's part of the language I talk in. I love sports and worked in the industry for awhile.

Hanging around coaches and high level athletes at the Division I level (and being a former college athlete myself) taught me that you have to aspire to excellence in your sport and that should carry over to your life. You should set high standards for yourself and you should ask your friends, loved ones, and potential girlfriends to rise up to your standards. This isn't being judgemental, it's setting a blueprint for how you want to live your life.

As an aspiring DJ or DJ in training, I'm not going to apologize for how I live my life, my education and how much of it I have, and the kind of woman I want -- period!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Westcoaster, I have gone 'solo' many times and I am always disappointed with the outcome because of the lack of good candidates to my liking. The ones I do see as 'attractive' are horish to the 'nth' degree.

There is nothing worse than a tattooed self-proclaimed 'hottie' who is a loud mouth drunkard with a bad attitude and who possesses a masculine persona. OK, maybe a homosexual male is worse - but not by much!


Many dudes who are dissatisfied with their marriage are miserable because they lowered their standards just so that they can be 'married'!! In the short run things will go OK because of the 'newness' of it all; however, in the long run men will eventually eject from the relationship because there is nothing keeping them there once the 'newness' wears off and fades.! So we start looking for another 'newness' and the cycle repeats.

Always pursue and embrace the kind of woman you want and maintain a high level of standards for the woman you keep! Only accept a lower standard if it is "non-essential" to keeping your interest in the long term!

The problem I find with this younger generation (even DJ's) is that their standards are extremely low or non-existent. They don't mind getting disrespected as long as they get some 'action'!! Where is the ‘dignified’ man? A rare breed indeed!!