Fluctuating confidence

[harpomarx]

Over the last couple of months I've been feeling like my confidence has really been on the rise - part of it, I think, because of a new start and my move to a new city, and part of it because I've been trying to push myself gradually out of my comfort zone. I've made a few approaches and have made a point of starting conversations with a bunch of people, both girls and guys, that I probably wouldn't have spoken to before. I've noticed though that despite this progress, my confidence and anxiety levels have been fluctuating pretty wildly from week to week or even day to day.

On some days, I've been feeling great, and have no problem with the simple things - maintaining eye contact with people, saying hi, smiling, etc. (ok, maybe a half-smile, but I'm getting there). On other days, under the same circumstances and despite extra effort, I revert back to the other extreme, avoiding eye contact and generally dodging social situations. Even with some people I work with - one day I'll be outgoing and initiate convos with people around the office, and the next day I'll be unable to even keep one going once they initiate it.

I realize I still have a lot of work to do and I don't mean to post this for pity or cheap encouragement. But I was wondering if this is something other people have gone through in their earlier days... and if so, if there are any particular things you did to overcome it, both in the long term, and on those days when you weren't at your best...

Thanks guys....

 

[mfd1830]

This happens to me all the time. A year ago I would be that confident, outgoing, comfortable self maybe once or twice a month. Now I'm like that, on average, 4 or 5 days a week. I look at it as progress. We all have our off stretches but, for me, they are fewer and far between; enough so that I don't get too down because I know I'll bounce back soon enough.

It sucks to be so high on yourself one day and, for no apparent reason, feel kinda ****ty the next but the promise of good days is more than enough for me to plow through the off ones.