Flowers?

[ARK]

Im getting ready to go out this weekend with a girl Ive been dating for almost two months. We are getting dressed up (shirt, tie, etc.) and going to a dinner theater.

About a month ago I made dinner and had a small bouquet of flowers on the table which I ended up giving to her that night as she left. She quickly responded with she loves flowers.

Anyway, a friend of mine thinks I should take her some flowers when I see her this Fri. eve. His thoughts are that I need to think along the lines of showing her that I care since she can't read my mind.

What are your thoughts on this guys. Should I take flowers or no flowers for Fri. eve? Part of me says yes, the other part that read this site says no.

 

[frivolousz21]

not a 2nd time so soon

 

[the_great_gaia]

Don't you DARE take flowers to her on Friday!! The dinner thing was kinda neat but taking her the flowers. NO!! You'll look like a desperate AFC trying to BUY her attention. The board tells you NO DON'T BUY THE FLOWERS; but a part of you says BUY THE FLOWERS. If you listen to yourself, I guarantee a part of you will be FONDLING with your hand.

No Flowers, okay?

 

[nonstop]

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lost In Translation]

NO.

HELL NO !!!!

your friend gave you some VERY bad advice.

either he is an idiot or he is jealous and wants you to fail.

READ THIS :

Quote: squirrels
“ You NEVER pay as a supplicative or bargaining measure, though. The reward that she gets for her affection is YOUR affection. The reward she gets for her sex is YOUR sex. The second you start buying her stuff to keep her around, keep her entertained in your presence, etc...you're compensating for not having what it takes to seduce the woman, and that's totally unacceptable. “

NOW GO BACK AND READ IT AGAIN LOL


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[frivolousz21]

LIT=amazing advice

 

[nonstop]

Quote Pook (be a man):
"-Never feels he has to prove himself to anyone.

Flowers, candy, poetry all can be good additions to a relationship, but so many nice guys use them to BUY the relationship as if they must prove themselves. They flood with the poor woman with gifts to show they mean it.

So away with the flowers, those dead plants as tokens of affection. Away with the choclate, the candy, and sweets, those sugary pursuits to purchase love. Away with the poety, those rotten verses of declarations of love. Away with the quest to prove YOURSELF and let her prove HERSELF to you for YOU are the Don Juan."

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Ark, you've been seeing her two months only. Have you had sex with her yet? Are you rewarding her for something she has done?

You have to understand what flowers represent. They pretty much choreograph to a woman that you really like them and want them. And when they know you like & want them that much, they know they have your balls, and they may look for a new challenge (especially for women in their younger and mid twenties). Granted, there are certian occasions & situations where giving flowers is warranted but for your case, it is very questionable.

His thoughts are that I need to think along the lines of showing her that I care since she can't read my mind.

You don't want her to be able to read your mind. That's the whole point if you have good game. There is no mystery or challenge to you anymore once she reads you like a book.

I refer you to the first two rules from Svengali:

1) First off, and this is going to go against everyting mom, sis, auntie and the nuns/teachers told you, women want men who don't want them nearly as much as the women do.

2) Second, when you want a woman more then she wants you, you'll want to know why she is with and wants me, more then you.

Finally, read the DJ Bible. It's probably a good starter for you:

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

Maximus_Decimus

 

[undesputable]

flowers=good idea, if yall have been dating for months
dinner made by you=bad idea, always a bad idea
dinner bought by you= not so bad

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by undesputable
flowers=good idea, if yall have been dating for months
dinner made by you=bad idea, always a bad idea
dinner bought by you= not so bad

Why is making dinner a bad thing and buying dinner a not so bad thing? And why are flowers such a good thing, dating for months or not?

 

[ARK]

I am 31, she is 23 and studying to be a doctor. She is a virgin and wants to wait for marriage.

LIT that is a good quote. I have read Pook's quote about flowers as well. Thanks for your replies guys. Like I said that part of me that reads this site says no to flowers.

Actually the dinner I made went great. She wanted the recipe and we had a great conversation during and after the dinner. Couldn't have gone better actually. The flowers I gave her when she left were actually just a small mix in a little vase that was sitting on the dining table. Nothing over the top. She currently has the vase sitting out in her apt.

 

[undesputable]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Why is making dinner a bad thing and buying dinner a not so bad thing? And why are flowers such a good thing, dating for months or not?

I said flowers are only a good idea unless you have been dating for a couple of months...why? bc they reveal too much interest if you give her flowers early on. Also if you give her flowers after a couple of months they will mean more to her than if youve been giving her flowers since the first date, and it runs along with the whole "dont be predictable" thing. Making dinner might not always be a bad idea, it might be good if youre planning to marry her and her ring is already on her finger. But again if you make dinner for her too early on, it reveals too much interest, and besides i would expect her to cook ME dinner. Cooking is more a womans activity, i dong like cooking (most men dont) so why should you be doing something you dont like just for her? the trick is to find a girl that likes to do what you want. buying dinner is a classic date, it has been for ages, if conversation is good and everything goes well, itll be much better than having made dinner yourself, if is early in the relationship.

 

[frivolousz21]

i would expect her to cook ME dinner. Cooking is more a womans activity

umm the best chef's by far in the world are men.


how often do you see women cooks anywhere???

cooking is a mens hobby

 

[ARK]

For me I like to cook. I thought it could be something I could do to impress her more than just go out to dinner since it would be original. It seemed to work well. Being 23 how many guys have cooked for her? She said none. Instant brownie points.

Her birthday is coming up July 2. That would make a much better occassion to bring flowers. Hmm..

 

[undesputable]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
umm the best chef's by far in the world are men.


how often do you see women cooks anywhere???

cooking is a mens hobby

even the best fashion designers in the world are men. just bc the best chefs in the world are men too, doesnt mean that all men should start cooking for their dates. Chefs have taken cooking as their profession, not their hobbies.

I was brought up in a family where my mom always cooked. That is the traditional style, I dont when that changed. Btw, i do know how to cook many things, but thats for my own personal survival skills, not to cook a woman dinner. Now i bearly see any women cooking, and more and more men trying to cook for their them. Must be of the results of the whole feminist movemnet.

 

[frivolousz21]

I was brought up in a family where my mom always cooked. That is the traditional style, I dont when that changed. Btw, i do know how to cook many things, but thats for my own personal survival skills, not to cook a woman dinner. Now i bearly see any women cooking, and more and more men trying to cook for their them. Must be of the results of the whole feminist movemnet.



this was the way in the old old days....
but more and more men cook nowadays..or they get food to go, fast food, or restaurant.

I get ur point.

but there is nothing wrong with cooking her a meal.

infact its a great date idea.

 

[Unregistered]

Give her flowers and you'll be keeping yours forever.

 

[ARK]

That other part of me says getting flowers doesnt mean you are out to prove yourself to her. Rather its just a way to show her affection/that you care. Just the same as you would by kissing, hugging or holding her hand, its just a different way of expressing that you care.

I guess that part of me considers flowers, paying for dinner, movie, etc. are a part of a normal societal dating activity.

So if doing the small things like buying flowers is out of the question. What do you guys recommend?

 

[unformed]

I'm no DJ yet, but I'm working on it. And I've read quite a few things on here and seen it in practice to know when something's not right.

I thought it could be something I could do to impress her more than just go out to dinner since it would be original.

That right there is really bad thinking. When you're doing something to impress her, she can smell that a mile away. When you buy her flowers before you're even getting laid, she knows she has you wrapped around her finger. She's getting free dinner, meals, and flowers from you and giving you nothing in return. And she won't, because there is no reason for it.

And on top of that I highly doubt she's a virgin.

 

[ARK]

Unformed, all I have to say is the dinner worked great because not only did I earn points for it, she invited me to her place a couple days later for dinner. My thought actually wasn't to impress her when I made dinner. I knew that I could make it and sought to do it for something different.

As far as the virgin part goes, she told me "her boyfriend of 4 years didnt get as far as he would have liked." A week later she then told me what to expect from her on a physical level. That she had morals and was more or less worth waiting for.