Flowers

[PokerInTheRear]

I recently slept with a woman I've been dating... I like this one and would consider a ltr with her (though I won't bring that up).

She's not at all clingy. She responds to me quickly and positively, but rarely initiates contact. IL seems high when we are together, yet kinda low otherwise, though I could be misreading her.

I was considering sending her a small flower arrangement in a couple days. Thoughts on this? Would this be too AFC?

 

[SandHawk]

What is the idea behind sending her flowers? It almost seems as if you're trying to buy her attention by sending her flowers when you're not with her. And that dear sir, is the act of an AFC.

How long have the two of you been dating? How long did it take you to bang her?

Don't send her the flowers, just let it flow for a bit. If you need flowers to attract her attention, you're doing something wrong or she's not worth the money and effort.

 

[Iceberg]

Agree with SandHawk...

Uhhhh why? If you're treating her right, which I imagine you are, then that says 1000x more than some corny bouquet of flowers. It's not like you've ever heard of a girl leaving an otherwise cool man because he didn't send her flowers often enough.

Or do you think that her interest levels will rise because of some flowers? If anything, I think it would lower. Because now you're saying, "You already have me where you want me. Whipped and sending flowers."

 

[perseverance]

You only buy flowers at Birthdays, Anniversaries and Christmas. That's the only time I'll ever buy anything for a girl, relationship or otherwise.

 

[PokerInTheRear]

Okay, understood.

Sex on date 3... Not trying to buy her, just like to surprise etc. I do think you're probably right though could show too much - that was my concern.

Any ideas on her lack of initiating contact?

 

[perseverance]

.

Any ideas on her lack of initiating contact?

Yeah, she's waiting for you to initiate contact and take her out.

 

[PokerInTheRear]

Yeah, she's waiting for you to initiate contact and take her out.

I hear ya, but shouldn't she be making some investments in this interest-wise too? If I constantly initiate, doesn't that smack of desperation or of a man who has few options? I have 3 other plates going now btw.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Flowers are a reward, never a bribe.

 

[perseverance]

I hear ya, but shouldn't she be making some investments in this interest-wise too? If I constantly initiate, doesn't that smack of desperation or of a man who has few options? I have 3 other plates going now btw.

If you don't initiate, she won't initiate, who will initiate? You're the man, you have to get the ball rolling here. She's not going to do your role for you. That's your job.

It doesn't matter how many plates, you will have to initiate will all of them because women expect and want a man who leads. If you won't lead, she'll find someone else who will.

 

[PokerInTheRear]

Ha lol!

She just texted to say hi and asked if she could call me tonight...

 

[perseverance]

I've never understood why people ask permission to do something?

"Is it alright if I call you?", "Is it alright if I try and kiss you?", "Is it alright if I take you out?". Just do it, don't ask for permission. You're not children here. Though I often wonder considering a man of thirty five years has just said "Ha lol!" at me.

 

[Iceberg]

I hear ya, but shouldn't she be making some investments in this interest-wise too? If I constantly initiate, doesn't that smack of desperation or of a man who has few options? I have 3 other plates going now btw.

She's banging you and she shows up when you call her. What's the problem?

I may be a little less emotional than other men, but what more do you need? You need her calling you up every night to discuss mundane details about her day? Do you need cute little pillow talk? You have a girl who's giving you sex and doesn't call unless you tell her to. This sounds fu*king perfect to me.

It sounds like you want her to fulfill some emotional needs in you. Drop the Romeo sh*t and enjoy the sex. If you hold up your end of the bargain sexually, and don't start acting like an emotional sissy, then her interest will increase anyway.

 

[PokerInTheRear]

I can bang a lot of chicks, but you get sick of the low-hanging fruit in time. Getting chicks to bang is not the issue.

I dig this lady, and she qualifies in many ways for ltr. So I am a bit edgy I guess. Thanks for keeping me in check.

And perseverance - OMG, I am rotflmao!

 

[PokerInTheRear]

I can bang a lot of chicks, but you get sick of the low-hanging fruit in time. Getting chicks to bang is not the issue.

I dig this lady, and she qualifies in many ways for ltr. So I am a bit edgy I guess. Thanks for keeping me in check.

And perseverance - OMG, I am rotflmao!

 

[SandHawk]

Okay, understood.

Sex on date 3... Not trying to buy her, just like to surprise etc. I do think you're probably right though could show too much - that was my concern.

Any ideas on her lack of initiating contact?

If you want to surprise her, do it with different things, like a compliment when she doesn't expect it(and when it is warranted though). Or surprise her by popping a bottle of massage oil and get her all oiled up(and have her return the favour).

And if you insist of getting flowers, get 1 single flower and attach it in her hair. If she's into you, she'll wear it with pride. I wear a necklace with hanger and once hanged it around the neck of one of my plates. While hanging it around her neck I told her I wanted it back at the end of the night, but she could keep it safe until then. And boy did she radiate that night. She constant held it in her hand and what not.

 

[Kailex]

Drop the Romeo sh*t and enjoy the sex.

If only more people did this, I'm sure this forum would only have half the posts it currently does.

Like Rollo said, they are a reward, not a bribe.

Not only that, but there's a theory of relative escalation with women.
If you give her flowers after a third date and lay... what are you going to give her eventually?

She'll expect more.

"He gave me flowers after going out on our third date, I wonder what he'd give me if it was an anniversary?"

A flower arrangement clearly won't suffice. There are aces that you need to keep up your sleeves, this is one of them.

 

[PokerInTheRear]

Agreed all... Saying no to flowers. Thanks for the input it did he lp.