Flirty neighbor..how would you handle this?

[Mr.Positive]

This is an interesting situation.

Now that the weather is great, it's bikini time where I live. I have this neighbor that is a massive attention seeker. She spends all day, dancing in the sun, in a bikini. People stop by, and watch her dancing.

She is the happiest person you would ever meet. This is because of a whole bunch of meds she's on, due to personality disorders, etc.

She's also very flirty, and very protective. She's always hooting and hollaring at me, and watching me while she dances.

I've gotten used to it, but she also plays music very loud that takes away from the peacefulness.

Also, she invades my privacy to some extent, by telling me things like "stay away from that woman, she's trouble..etc." She's flirty, but intrusive and protective to the point where it's very hard for me to invite women over.

Recently, I invited a gal over, and bikini gal is dancing away and says "hey baby, looking great, love you..."

It's in a friendly and happy way, she means well, but really made the gal I invited over uncomfortable. This has happened several times in the past.

She's like the all seeing eye, always looking over me.

I know this is an interesting situation, actually quite funny, but any ideas on how to get around a neighbor like this?

I really can't say anything to her, because she just loves life too much...but, not quite sure how to get around the whole overly protectiveness from her.

Thoughts?

 

[5string]

Hey bud. Why is she "protective" of you? What is your relationship with her other than being a neighbor?

 

[Bender936]

I can see how talking to her about it would be difficult. Women like that can be unpredictable. But I don't think you have a choice. Either she'll understand and lay off, get upset and leave you alone, or go crazy and make things worse. So you've got a 2 out of 3 chance. haha.

I can't think of any ways of disarming her craziness without confronting her. I think if you keep it positive and cheery, you should be alright. Guys?

 

[Mr.Positive]

I can see how talking to her about it would be difficult. Women like that can be unpredictable. But I don't think you have a choice. Either she'll understand and lay off, get upset and leave you alone, or go crazy and make things worse. So you've got a 2 out of 3 chance. haha.

I can't think of any ways of disarming her craziness without confronting her. I think if you keep it positive and cheery, you should be alright. Guys?

This is what I was thinking too Bender.

I can't think of a way either. I don't know if there is a way, but thought I'd give it a try and ask you all about it.

If it wasn't for bringing other women over, it really wouldn't be a big deal.

Right now, I've got two women I'd like to invite over, may I should invite them over 'under the cover of darkness'. :nervous:

 

[Mr.Positive]

Hey bud. Why is she "protective" of you? What is your relationship with her other than being a neighbor?

We are just neighbors, with a little bit of history. One night, about a year ago, she showed up drunk, and threw herself at me. Things got heated quickly, but I walked her home before the clothes went flying off.

Since then, she's been cool with that. If I run into her passing by, she always gives me a very friendly hug and kiss. Other than that, we are just neighbors, though she occassionally invites me over for drinks, etc, but I always politely decline.

I don't know why she's overly protective with whom I choose to see though. I don't think she has any bad intentions, she's just happy enjoying life, and likes to share that.

In the particular case of one gal, I should have listened to her.

Also, I should add, that this has been going on for a long time, it's not anything recent. Like groundhog day, I've got bikini gal day...I know when the weather's turned good when I here the music, and see this gal dancing away.

 

[Jitterbug]

Golden Rule: love thy neighbour.

Diamond Rule: never ever ever love thy neighbour.

Can't you just C&F your way through when she makes comments on the girls you bring over? Or simply tell your girl that your neighbour is a cuckoo?

 

[Mr.Positive]

Can't you just C&F your way through when she makes comments on the girls you bring over? Or simply tell your girl that your neighbour is a cuckoo?

I've tried using light-hearted humour, but it's just very odd and I think it raises red flags with the gals. Honestly, I can't blame them for that. I'm sure they start thinking that I'm involved with her..

Who has a neighbor that blasts music, and dances like a stripper in a bikini?

The music is loud when she does this, you just can't ignore it. It's attention seeking on steriods.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Just be polite, but as non committal as possible. And make sure when you bring ladies over, to drop a couple hints ahead of time that you have a loon for a neighbor. Make you are clear on your distaste for her so even overt come ons in front of other girls will already be pre-framed as just some lonely goofball on meds.

 

[sharkbeat]

wtf? what a neighbor! Man, I'd love to have a neighbor who always dances for me.

So, how does she know that you invited gals over? Do you share windows or something?

 

[Mr.Positive]

Just be polite, but as non committal as possible. And make sure when you bring ladies over, to drop a couple hints ahead of time that you have a loon for a neighbor. Make you are clear on your distaste for her so even overt come ons in front of other girls will already be pre-framed as just some lonely goofball on meds.

That's great advise! This is exactly what I'm going to do going forward.

Thanks taiyuu!

 

[Mr.Positive]

wtf? what a neighbor! Man, I'd love to have a neighbor who always dances for me.

So, how does she know that you invited gals over? Do you share windows or something?

I live on a boat in a marina. She lives on the boat across from mine, so she's right there. She dances for the whole marina on the deck of the boat, I'm just the guy within hollaring range.

It gets old quick, as I spend a lot of my days off out on deck working on my boat...and she is right there. It is a distraction, but it's really hard not to like this gal, because she's always so happy and just has really nice things to say to people.

 

[Joe Stud]

Take her up on a drink offer. Tell her that while you love her little shows, you are losing some a$$ over it. Tell her to please tone it down a bit when you bring other hb's, so as not to scare them away. also I would add.. "if you do still scare one of my HB's away, you are going to have to demand that she stands in for the night as restitution". LOL

 

[5string]

I would just be polite. If she get's out of hand and becomes a nuisance, tell her to tone it down. Especially when you have friends over. Keep in mind that if she has a personality disorder, you should not get any more involved with her than you already are. Take that to the bank. Good luck.

 

[Coach Marshall]

Hey, you haven't taken any real action and you need to. Everyone needs to create boundaries in their life and relationships. You don't need crazy in your life. It's time for a confrontation. Ooh big word, but it's not.

Just speak with her directly about your boundaries - no comments when girls are over, no hooting at you, keep the music down and etc. Explain it makes you uncomfortable because it does. Believe it or not, she has no idea how you feel because she isn't a mind reader. Personality disorder aside, people need to be told how to behave.

People treat you as you train them to. Handle it.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Just be polite, but as non committal as possible. And make sure when you bring ladies over, to drop a couple hints ahead of time that you have a loon for a neighbor. Make you are clear on your distaste for her so even overt come ons in front of other girls will already be pre-framed as just some lonely goofball on meds.

taiyuu, I used your advise here and it really worked. (so far) I was talking to one gal last evening on the phone, and she was very curious about boat life. I thought of your advise, and used this to go on a rant about all the unique neighbors I have...

By the time I started telling her about bikini dancing gal, she could barely speak she was laughing so hard. I do have some very unique neighbors, and lot's of funny stories about them.

So, I think I've got it framed right, hopefully when she comes over she will get nothing but another laugh at my crazy medicated dancing neighbor. It is really funny when you think about it.

Thanks again.

 

[Mr.Positive]

I would just be polite. If she get's out of hand and becomes a nuisance, tell her to tone it down. Especially when you have friends over. Keep in mind that if she has a personality disorder, you should not get any more involved with her than you already are. Take that to the bank. Good luck.

When I first met her, she was flirty, and I flirted back just for the fun of it. She's toned it down a lot since I've stopped flirting with her. She used to say things like stopping by unexpectedly, to 'rock' my boat...or that she wants to tuck me in at night with her own 'special' way. Crazy sh!t like that.

So, she has toned it down a lot.

I've also seen her off her meds, total drama and chaos. She's nuts, which is why I do not want to cause any drama with her. I'd rather smile and be polite, and thank her for any compliments, etc. Hope she stays happily on her meds and enjoys her life.

 

[catman]

Wish i lived on a boat!!!!!!

 

[5string]

Wish i lived on a boat!!!!!!

Wish I had some of her meds! Got me some moves, but doubt I'd look good in a bikini.