"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Flirting with a girl when her parents are around?

The Pedantical

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This is a weird problem...

There is a girl I like a lot, but I never had the chance to talk to her much. Basically, I know her because my dad is a good friend of her dad.

Now tomorrow night I'm going with my parents to a big Haloween dinner organized by the company where my dad works.

The thing is... today, I learned that I'll be sitting on a table with my parents and with the girl I like and her parents, as well as two other girls I met a couple of years ago.

Now, how should I talk to that girl when her parents are there? Basically, right now we're merely acquaintances although we get along well... I don't see her very often so I didn't really have the chance to flirt with her since I've only met her in very formal situations, and I'm feeling a bit uneasy about how to talk to her tomorrow. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a good time to kino her or talk to her with a "bedroom voice" or anything like that considering the fact that her parents will be sitting right next to us. Yet, if I don't at least do something, she'll probably think I'm scared or something :rolleyes:

In any case, I'll see her again next month because I'm going to Cincinnati for a week with her and a bunch of other people participating in some art show... so I'll be able to spend some time alone with her then and away from our parents. But I'm worried about how to deal with her tomorrow. If I'm just friendly with her she'll probably just conclude that I'm "her friend" and it'll be a lot harder to seduce her next month in Cincinnati because of the context created by tomorrow. Am I wrong?

I was thinking of just playing it cool and talking to her and her parents with a smile just like I would talk to any other friend and just let my sense of humor shine, but I'm almost wondering whether I'll be just better off pretending to be sick and not attending so that when I meet her in Cincinnati it'll be the first time in a while...

What do you guys think? :woo:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Bloke

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The best opportunity to chat her up when you see her in a month. You have no excuses then. That's what I'd do anyway.

BUT, if you really wish to do it tonight, then you should.

You should view this as if you were going after a chick who was with a group of friends. You should not place all your attention on her, chat up her parents too. This is a top opportunity to show social proof, mingle with everyone.

Harmless flirtation ain't going to offend anyone. Only way you could offend is if you were doing it in a 'sexual' manner, THAT IS a no-go in front of the parents.

If you have worked it well enough, & you should get her in a more secluded area where you can be alone. That's when you up the tempo & activate the 'bedroom voice'.


Best of luck
 

The Pedantical

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Originally posted by Bloke
The best opportunity to chat her up when you see her in a month. You have no excuses then. That's what I'd do anyway.

BUT, if you really wish to do it tonight, then you should.

You should view this as if you were going after a chick who was with a group of friends. You should not place all your attention on her, chat up her parents too. This is a top opportunity to show social proof, mingle with everyone.

Harmless flirtation ain't going to offend anyone. Only way you could offend is if you were doing it in a 'sexual' manner, THAT IS a no-go in front of the parents.

If you have worked it well enough, & you should get her in a more secluded area where you can be alone. That's when you up the tempo & activate the 'bedroom voice'.


Best of luck
Ah, I'll try it out... it would be a tad difficult to get into a secluded area though since there will be like a thousand people there tonight :eek:

I guess I'll just try talking to them normally :woo:
 

Sophomakhos

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A thousand people? That's even better. That gives you even more chance for seclusion. I'm guessing that you don't know every single one of those thousand, and nor does every single one know you. So strangers aren't going to be put out by you chatting a girl up. And what's more, the large number of people to whom one can speak should help to distract her parents if and when you do manage to get her to the side. Essentially though, Bloke is right - as long as you present a good impression to her parents and get them hooked, you'll be fine in your efforts with the girl. It's an odd thing, but when you really do well with parents, it's actually possible to get them to actively want you to hook up with their daughter (having said this, you'll have to be real smooth with them), and I have seen situations in which parents are practically goading two people to have sex right in front of them. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but it gets the sense of what I'm saying across. Anyway, good hunting out there!
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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Well you can leave the table right? Or are you gonna be there the whole time around her parents?

I would imagine at any party people would move around and stuff, and thats where you can make your moves.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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