Flirting with a coworker

[lexluciano]

Im currently flirting with a coworker. I have to say its always an event to me when I go to work just to see her.

My situation is that i know she has a bf who works there as well. But she doesnt know that I know. She was showing me pics on her iphone of how she went hiking and i saw her bf on there. I made a comment like "so whos that guy? Your hiking guide or something?" She just laughed and never mentioned that it was her bf. As if avoiding the subject. But I knew it was because a few of my other coworkers were gossiping about who her bf was.

I tested the waters a lil bit by asking her "hey did u watch the avengers movie yet?" just to see what her reaction would be to see if she would say "No..lets go see it". But she only said no. Then i told her about a few hiking spots that I know that she doesnt know of. I was hoping she would say "lets go" but she just smiled. Yet through out all of this, she's always excited to see me especially when we're one on one together since we always flirt. I remember recently when I threw a flirty comment at her and afterwards she started singing a song. Sounded like a love song which i dont know of.

Because I look at it like:
1) she didnt say it was her BF on those iphone pix because she thinks that I think she's single. SOO...if I know she has a BF....i wouldnt be flirting with her which she prolly enjoys the attention

2) Her BF doesnt give her as much of an excitement as I do when flirting with her so she avoids telling me she got a BF LET ALONE...goes along and flirts with me as well

So my question to ya'll is...should I let her know that I DO KNOW she has a bf or keep that under raps?? Or knowing that I DO KNOW she got a bf...should I play around with it and say...hey are you seeing anyone?

 

[Damian]

Stop making such a big deal out of it. In conversation, casually ask if she's seeing anyone. If you show her that you don't think it's that big of a deal, that it's just a natural part of two people getting to know each other, she will be forced to follow your lead.

In any case, if she seems like a nice person, you probably wouldn't want to just freeze her out if she says that she is in a relationship. Don't burn any bridges that might gossip to their friends about how you were an ass who was just talking to her to get in her pants. Befriend her and use her as a social bridge to expand your social circle. Networking 101.

 

[lexluciano]

Stop making such a big deal out of it. In conversation, casually ask if she's seeing anyone. If you show her that you don't think it's that big of a deal, that it's just a natural part of two people getting to know each other, she will be forced to follow your lead.

In any case, if she seems like a nice person, you probably wouldn't want to just freeze her out if she says that she is in a relationship. Don't burn any bridges that might gossip to their friends about how you were an ass who was just talking to her to get in her pants. Befriend her and use her as a social bridge to expand your social circle. Networking 101.

good point.

whats your thoughts tho on why she prolly didnt mention or confess that it was her BF in that pic?? Other than saying "maybe thats not her BF or maybe shes single".

Because whom i overheard that gossip from is 99% times truthful.

 

[Damian]

Let's see...some reasons why she didn't mention that it's her BF...

Take your pick:
1. She's single, and it's just some dude.
2. It's her ex, and she probably doesn't want to talk about it.
3. It's her boyfriend, and she thinks you're a cool guy, doesn't want to ruin it by bringing up the boyfriend issue.
4. You haven't asked. What would you think of her if she just came up to you and said, "I'm single, y'know?" The first think that would come to your mind would be, "I wonder how many other guys she's said that to..."
5. It hasn't been relevant in your interactions. You guys are just chatting, why bring up all that stuff if it's going to be awkward.
6. She's a cold, calculating, manipulative sociopath who's using you because you're a chump who's available as her emotional garbage bin.
7. The guy is part of her hiking group. It's dangerous to go hiking alone.

You seem like a fully capable, caring, and responsible man if you care enough about this girl to try to figure out what she's thinking. Be casual and just ask. The sooner you get an answer, the less time you waste trying to figure out if she's single using gossip and speculation. Typically it's the 16-year-old girls with crushes pondering over the gossip and asking "omg what does it mean if he says/does ____?"

 

[DJerk]

How's that sexual harassment case cooking? Any updates?