flame me

[MacAvoy]

Ok I'm going to talk about some of the things I've done that go against the bible but have still worked for me. I'm lookin for opinions on why they worked.

History

Met girl online 4 years ago, contact was steady for first 4 months, she cancelled meeting twice, I nexted her. After that maybe once a year we would somehow come in contact again, at these points, I was always aprehensive and withdrawn cuz I was still pissed at her flakiness. However, we always ended up having some stupid arguement which lead to us parting ways. We've had a very intense relationship, like a roller coaster - up and down.

Fast forward to 2 months ago, start chatting again, big difference, both are alot more mature (I'm 29, her 25). We're alot more patient understanding, don't overreact on emotions anymore.

No-No's that I've done:

1) Talking long on the phone too long. We've progressed to talking on the phone about 3-4 nights a week for about an hour per night.

2) Extensive IM conversations. Like the phone calls, we started 2 months ago w/ long chats, which progressed to the phone calls. We now do a mix of both.

In the conversations (phone & online) I've always been very mysterious, don't tell her too much about myself. Constantly joking, busting her chops etc.... I no longer let her get away w/ bratty behaviour.

When we were in person, I initiated lots of kino, teased her big time about her driving, kissed her as a reward for being able to park, and showed her the time of her life in bed.

I guess my question is, as long as your enough of a DJ, can these general rules be shot out the window? Advice on how I should proceed. Currently we are planning on seeing each other once a month in person as we live in different provinces (states).

 

[milkman]

Originally posted by MacAvoy
I guess my question is, as long as your enough of a DJ, can these general rules be shot out the window?

Yes.

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

There are no real rules. Guidelines yes but if it ain't broke why fix it.


Eventually you need to see each other more then just once a month.

And then ultimately one of you needs to move. If you want the relationship to progress to a serious LTR and marriage then one of you needs to move closer. The relationship will not progress nor will you truly know one another if you don't.

Seen it and experience it too many times.

And don't think you’re the only one she's screwin.

 

[squirrels]

If you can hold an interesting conversation for an hour, or you don't happen to have anything better to do at the moment, an hour-long convo is not a big deal.

The idea is not to get so routine it gets boring...or sit around and talk to her when you have other sh!t to do. Even if you're talking to her 4 nights of the week, you're doing something with your life those other three, and that counts for something.

The long, repeated phonecall stuff is for when you first meet and are courting a girl. At that early point, she hasn't done enough to EARN those long-duration calls and affections...you should still be feeling her out, instead of selling out on her by yacking to her for hours on end and telling her all your personal feelings.

I mean, if talking to a woman every day was BAD, how would married couples who LIVE together have ANY chance of being happy??