You can't even figure out which gender you are, you moronic androgynous specimen. Celibate, eh? You mean in the closet, right? Or maybe you're a homosexual midget: in which case, you're in the cupboard! You're damn right about being vomit-inducing fugly. You have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. How much would you change to haunt a house? You're a politically vacillating phony liberal ****; too damn broadminded to take your own side in a debate. Calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas, you jellyfish-sucking mental midget. Did your mother leave you in the dryer too long when you were a kid, you little tap-dancing Leprechaun in a pink wig? Be careful you don't bump your head on the door handle on the way out. If you were ever kidnapped and eaten by a cannibal tribe, they'd all die of high cholesterol, you fat, flabby, fumbling ****. You couldn't get a job cleaning **** off a toilet, you utterly useless wrinkled balloon in a muddy puddle of goat's piss. I love that suit you're wearing. You never throw anything away, do you? I'm not really good with fools, but a friend who is wrote something down for me; Oh, yeah, "**** off." May you live a long life and be the butt of many jokes to come.
Shut up before I place an old black and white TV in your indoor scooter carrier basket and fasten it around your neck with a daisy chain of live rattlesnakes, and send you plummeting to your death off the fourth floor balcony to a standing ovation from the gallery below.
I refer to your latest discharge of plebeian verbiage; in which, you have proven, once again, that there is no such thing as unutterable nonsense. Rumor has it that you are almost incomprehensible in person (as revealed by your desperate urge to babble nonsensically on message boards.) No doubt, this rumor is true.
I notice that you never let an idea interrupt the flow of your posts. You wouldn't know a clue if it walked up to you, bit you on the ass, and announced 'I AM A CLUE'. Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth. Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
Reading your post is less interesting than watching paint dry. If wit was spit, your mouth would be drier than a shallow well in an African heat wave. I bet you thought it was just coincidence that your parents had the same surnames before they married? Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you didn't have that botched back street lobotomy that left you that crisscrossed shoelace scar on your forehead; if your weren't so fat that a "Place Your Billboard Ad Here" is printed on each of your butt cheeks, or if you didn't have a face like a bulldog chewing a stinging nettle while taking a constipated dump in a heat wave. Nah, of course you would.
Now, why don¡¦t you climb onto that Special Needs tricycle of yours with the fourth wheel attached for extra-ensured retard stability and pedal your fat ass down to the sports field and do some ¡§outdoors¡¨ stuff for a change. Hell, if you don¡¦t like it, you can always offer to lick-clean the jockstraps.
You are nothing more than a shovel full of horse ****. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: go find a hungry lion and tickle its tonsils with your tongue, you unicycle-pedalling blubberhead in floppy clown shoes.
You anal-invading, grandma-groping, panty-slurping, ****-sucking, pimple-nibbling, wank-faced assclown! You are a frightfully foul blackguard and a fiendish, monotonous solitaire playing orgy of indecency. It is my profound wish that you shall have a plague of rodents take up residence in your cellar, you pulp of stultifying inanity.
