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Flaky chick reschedules.

andreihaha

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Went out with her for the first time around 10 days ago.
I've been busy with 2 other chicks in the meantime, but one is ill and the other one I'm kinda ghosting since she pissed me off.
I wanted to set a date with this girl like a week ago, she couldn't. Then she texted me to set a same-day date, but I was out with another one so I passed.
Today I'm asking her if she has plans tonight. It's my only free night this week. Conversation went like this:

Me: Mornin'. What are you doing tonight?
Her: Heeeey, I don't know know if I can go out tonight. Do you have plans tomorrow? But somehow in the evening after 9.30?
Her: I think there's a better chance of drinking a coffee near the X area :)))(where we both work)
Her: If you say you're at the office.

My instinct is to either tell her "Tonight is my only free night this week" or to forget about her completely. Or set a date tomorrow and not show up.
Thing is I really had some fun on the first date. On the other hand, I know I may be wasting my time with this one. I'm not looking for a coffee date, I wanted to suggest a run in the park(which both of us do) and some sex after.
I'm sure I'm overthinking this.
Man, the less options you have, the worst it gets :rolleyes: Too bad I don't have time to find new women at the moment.
 

Lookatu

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If you had fun with her and considering you couldn't go out with her again before due to another girl, I'd just keep trying to coordinate something with her. It might not be on your time or convenience but you should find something that works for both of you.

I mean what have you really got to lose? She's not your main or at the top of your list so continue going out with others in the mean time.
That's pretty much how it is these days. I've learned to accept it and it doesn't affect me anymore.

For me the biggest thing I look for is whether we are moving forward each time we meet as in is there some sort of progress being made and does she still make things exciting.

But I understand if you wanna cut your losses or if she's not worth it but so far, from what you said, I don't sense that.
 

Alvafe

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you know what you can do? stay at home or find someone else to do you don't need to fill your whole time with woman or another one.

guess that is the good thing of prefer to stay alone, even if I don't have new woman on the line I will leave and stay alone to stay sane
 

2Rocky

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That's why I do invites to something I'm doing already.

"Hey I'm going to run 5-7 miles from the Knee Knacker trailhead tomorrow evening. You are welcome to join."

It tends to play on their FOMO.
 

Trojan3000

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The way I look at it, is , just the fact that you posted this makes me think you care too much. Who cares if she reschedules? Seriously, whats the big deal?

Personally, textin a girl "morning" is cringey. To me its like why the **** would you text a girl good morning? Are you her co worker? All it really says is "i woke up thinking about you".. You know damn well on the other hand, SHE didnt wake up thinking about you! Texts in the morning on the day of plans just causes unnecessary anxiety.. Its like you were already worried plans will fall through so you "checked on her"

Just tell her I gotta check my schedule and don't respond for a bit.. hit her up in a week or maybe a couple days.
 

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bat soup

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She's giving you a time when she's available and seems willing to meet up, so she's cooperating at least to that point. On the other hand when a woman is "busy" for a whole week you've got to wonder what or who she's so busy doing. You might as well meet up with her and see what happens (try to escalate etc), but don't make her a high priority. Choose the place carefully so that you can get close to her and escalate. Somewhere close to your place with alcohol, loud music and a dark quiet corner would be ideal.
 

Black Widow Void

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Nah, I wouldn't do a date&flake on her.

Maybe respond with something like...

"It's funny how, when things are right, they seem to effortlessly fall into place"
"It's too bad you can't make it to tonight (my only free day)"
"Could the Godz be trying to tell me something?"

I don't claim that the above is golden or anything.
Lots of women are into metaphysical stuff and all ... and this sort of puts her in spot to prove herself.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Nah, I wouldn't do a date&flake on her.

Maybe respond with something like...

"It's funny how, when things are right, they seem to effortlessly fall into place"
"It's too bad you can't make it to tonight (my only free day)"
"Could the Godz be trying to tell me something?"

I don't claim that the above is golden or anything.
Lots of women are into metaphysical stuff and all ... and this sort of puts her in spot to prove herself.
Very good
 

stringpuller

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Went out with her for the first time around 10 days ago.
I've been busy with 2 other chicks in the meantime, but one is ill and the other one I'm kinda ghosting since she pissed me off.
I wanted to set a date with this girl like a week ago, she couldn't. Then she texted me to set a same-day date, but I was out with another one so I passed.
Today I'm asking her if she has plans tonight. It's my only free night this week. Conversation went like this:

Me: Mornin'. What are you doing tonight?
Her: Heeeey, I don't know know if I can go out tonight. Do you have plans tomorrow? But somehow in the evening after 9.30?
Her: I think there's a better chance of drinking a coffee near the X area :)))(where we both work)
Her: If you say you're at the office.

My instinct is to either tell her "Tonight is my only free night this week" or to forget about her completely. Or set a date tomorrow and not show up.
Thing is I really had some fun on the first date. On the other hand, I know I may be wasting my time with this one. I'm not looking for a coffee date, I wanted to suggest a run in the park(which both of us do) and some sex after.
I'm sure I'm overthinking this.
Man, the less options you have, the worst it gets :rolleyes: Too bad I don't have time to find new women at the moment.
Nahhh or Ok would be my reply then nothing until her flaky mood comes around.
 

stringpuller

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Nah, I wouldn't do a date&flake on her.

Maybe respond with something like...

"It's funny how, when things are right, they seem to effortlessly fall into place"
"It's too bad you can't make it to tonight (my only free day)"
"Could the Godz be trying to tell me something?"

I don't claim that the above is golden or anything.
Lots of women are into metaphysical stuff and all ... and this sort of puts her in spot to prove herself.
To much talking. Just my opinion but the more babble after the flake the less productive in your life these flakes become
 

EyeBRollin

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You're doing well OP, but I saw a few mistakes:


Went out with her for the first time around 10 days ago.
I've been busy with 2 other chicks in the meantime, but one is ill and the other one I'm kinda ghosting since she pissed me off.
I wanted to set a date with this girl like a week ago, she couldn't. Then she texted me to set a same-day date, but I was out with another one so I passed.
This actually isn't a flake. This was her just not agreeing to a date. The mistake is when she texts to ask you out, you are supposed to counteroffer:

"I can't do tonight.. how about Tuesday?"


The counteroffer is very important. It establishes that you are busy but it also closes the date. You gotta tie things down.

Today I'm asking her if she has plans tonight. It's my only free night this week. Conversation went like this:

Me: Mornin'. What are you doing tonight?
Her: Heeeey, I don't know know if I can go out tonight. Do you have plans tomorrow? But somehow in the evening after 9.30?
Her: I think there's a better chance of drinking a coffee near the X area :)))(where we both work)
Her: If you say you're at the office.
This is also a mistake. Rather than asking a woman what she is doing, you must be direct and decisive. 2Rocky gave a good example (which I edited):

"Hey I'm going to run 5-7 miles from the Knee Knacker trailhead tomorrow at 7 pm. Will you join me?"
This establishes the time, location, and asks for the order.

My instinct is to either tell her "Tonight is my only free night this week" or to forget about her completely. Or set a date tomorrow and not show up.
Thing is I really had some fun on the first date. On the other hand, I know I may be wasting my time with this one. I'm not looking for a coffee date, I wanted to suggest a run in the park(which both of us do) and some sex after.
I'm sure I'm overthinking this.
Man, the less options you have, the worst it gets :rolleyes: Too bad I don't have time to find new women at the moment.
Don't give up! My guy, you have to close. If the chick is asking you out, you close. Don't give her a rejection! Make the date or counter offer!
 

Lookatu

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This actually isn't a flake. This was her just not agreeing to a date. The mistake is when she texts to ask you out, you are supposed to counteroffer:

"I can't do tonight.. how about Tuesday?"


The counteroffer is very important. It establishes that you are busy but it also closes the date. You gotta tie things down.
This is the way I saw it too and I agree that you must always counter offer just like you would expect a gal to counter offer if she still showed interest.
 

2Rocky

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This establishes the time, location, and asks for the order.
My time window was intentionally vague, to assess the woman's true interest. If she says, "ah damn, i'm in class til 5" i can accomodate a later/earlier start time without seeming like I'm changing my stance...It progresses from Interest to commitment to time slot. but i agree on the asking for the order. That is paramount.
 

andreihaha

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That's why I do invites to something I'm doing already.

"Hey I'm going to run 5-7 miles from the Knee Knacker trailhead tomorrow evening. You are welcome to join."

It tends to play on their FOMO.
I often do that, with her I was kinda giving her a last chance. She seemed kinda low interest.
 

andreihaha

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Nah, I wouldn't do a date&flake on her.

Maybe respond with something like...

"It's funny how, when things are right, they seem to effortlessly fall into place"
"It's too bad you can't make it to tonight (my only free day)"
"Could the Godz be trying to tell me something?"

I don't claim that the above is golden or anything.
Lots of women are into metaphysical stuff and all ... and this sort of puts her in spot to prove herself.
I kinda wished I'd wait for your response. The first one is pretty much golden.
 

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andreihaha

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Thanks guys for all the helpful messages.
I think I agree with pretty much all your messages.
Truth is, writing the post made me realize that I know what to do about it.
She seemed busy most times, and after almost 2 weeks since I last saw her, my interest level got lower also. I will not waste my time for her.

I ended up telling her that I was busy the following days, no worries. I went to play some basketball and I felt great. Sport really helps you clear your mind.
I'll probably leave it like that unless the initiates contact.
Thanks.
 

Trojan3000

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Thanks guys for all the helpful messages.
I think I agree with pretty much all your messages.
Truth is, writing the post made me realize that I know what to do about it.
She seemed busy most times, and after almost 2 weeks since I last saw her, my interest level got lower also. I will not waste my time for her.

I ended up telling her that I was busy the following days, no worries. I went to play some basketball and I felt great. Sport really helps you clear your mind.
I'll probably leave it like that unless the initiates contact.
Thanks.
Brother, I've had this same type of situation countless amount of times and this is why I'm never bothered by this scenario. As men we should be farmers, constantly planting seeds.. The seeds arent going to evolve overnight into a blossoming exposed flower. Why the urgency? Why the anxiety? It's because you haven't planted enoguh seeds, so you're so focused on this one seed waiting to reap a harvest.

Some of my best women/plates were ones that I had to cook up for a long time.. missed opportunities, cancelled plans and all that, but eventually I got to the pie and boy was it good and worth the wait. and you know whats the other side ofit? when you lose them.. but im used to all that **** lol.. TO me its all fun . I got hella stories and thast waht I love about having alot of experience.. My bad stories are more exciting and interesting to me than most good stories I hear from other men.
 

FMCSMT

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The way I look at it, is , just the fact that you posted this makes me think you care too much. Who cares if she reschedules? Seriously, whats the big deal?

Personally, textin a girl "morning" is cringey. To me its like why the **** would you text a girl good morning? Are you her co worker? All it really says is "i woke up thinking about you".. You know damn well on the other hand, SHE didnt wake up thinking about you! Texts in the morning on the day of plans just causes unnecessary anxiety.. Its like you were already worried plans will fall through so you "checked on her"

Just tell her I gotta check my schedule and don't respond for a bit.. hit her up in a week or maybe a couple days.
Agree.
If she’s not reaching out and trying to setup a meet, I’m already out.
 

andreihaha

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Brother, I've had this same type of situation countless amount of times and this is why I'm never bothered by this scenario. As men we should be farmers, constantly planting seeds.. The seeds arent going to evolve overnight into a blossoming exposed flower. Why the urgency? Why the anxiety? It's because you haven't planted enoguh seeds, so you're so focused on this one seed waiting to reap a harvest.

Some of my best women/plates were ones that I had to cook up for a long time.. missed opportunities, cancelled plans and all that, but eventually I got to the pie and boy was it good and worth the wait. and you know whats the other side ofit? when you lose them.. but im used to all that **** lol.. TO me its all fun . I got hella stories and thast waht I love about having alot of experience.. My bad stories are more exciting and interesting to me than most good stories I hear from other men.
I like to keep it simple, 3-4 at a time.
And I don't want to bother with low interest, since I know there are other women better for me.
No time for bad seeds, to continue your metaphore.
 

RangerMIke

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Just be authentic... if you want to see her and she offers a time when you are free, go ahead and meet her.

If you start overthinking 'the game' you have already lost. Women are much better at this than we are.

It's always much better to actually be busy rather than pretending to be busy. Fill your calendar with things you need to do and stick with it. Women who like you will accommodate you: women who aren't feeling it won't. It really is that simple.
 
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