Flaking on girls?

[omkara]

Has anyone ever done this successfully and had it help with increasing attraction? I don't mean as some kind of cheap trick. I'm talking about if you have plans and later you don't feel like going. What would be a good way to frame this?

I had a date for today and I just was not getting a good vibe from this girl. Maybe it was lack of sleep, maybe it was reading SS last night. But I just started thinking that she is acting superior and not feminine enough. I know, I know. Anyway I wanted to get in 12 hours of work today at my 2 jobs, and I was tired and didn't feel like taking time out to go see a girl who might not even show up. So I just basically just blew her off over text.

 

[MainDroite]

I'd also love to have an answer to this question.

 

[Mixedlinks]

You have a legit reason to cancel. You should have called instead and tried to reschedule, however, you dont seem interested in her, so why bother.

 

[iamdisappoint]

nvm read the post wrong

 

[Jeffst1980]

One would THINK that this would increased attraction by being "hard to get," but it doesn't in practice. If you seem uninterested, she'll become uninterested, too--girls have WAY too many options. You would've been better off rescheduling right then and there--remember, face to face time is what builds interest level, and initially, you are likely dealing with a girl with average interest at best. Call her to reschedule in a day or two so she doesn't write you off.

 

[IamJosan]

I think the flaking>attraction thing would work if you have already been out with her before and have something to work with.

 

[Ease]

It works on a girlfriend. But she isnt your girlfriend.

 

[Chickfight]

No, that's like cancelling the game before it starts. Trying to cancel in the middle of the game however will just make her want to keep playing.

 

[Jariel]

I do it a lot, maybe too much. Sometimes I'm just not feeling it, other times I have changes to my work schedule or I'm too busy.

It can go either way. It could increase her interest by making you seem more of a challenge, letting her see that you're not desperate or you have other things going on. It can also be a bit of a kick to her ego, which has the strange effect of increasing your value to her.

On the other hand, some girls see this as a game and it starts to get really petty. If I flake or cancel on a girl, the next time we're due to meet up, she will flake as a way of "evening the score". Or she might turn cold with you and ignore some of your texts or calls. Although she's still interested, she's just trying to save face and show some self worth (much like we're taught here at sosuave). Unfortunately it can be difficult to get back on track from this point and it becomes a series of games, like who can be the coolest for the longest.

I flaked on a girl I really liked some months ago because I was seeing someone. Time has passed and I've been trying to rearrange a date with her. She's clearly interested, but she's really making me work for her attention again.

If you sense low interest, then flaking might not be a bad idea as you have little to lose by it.